August 2nd, 2003 - Ryman Auditorium, Nashville, Tennessee

My Nashville trip to see Lisa Marie Presley turned out to be the best ngày of my life....but it didn't start out that way to begin with. For the past 4 weeks I have been living with my grandpa (he has been a father to me, many times I've mistakenly called him dad, hoặc referred to him as that). My grandpa had been sick for months, but I always đã đưa ý kiến he'd get through it....hell, nothing could kill grandpa, no matter how hard it tried. All the cousins would always joke that he had thêm lives than a cat. Well, my grandma is legally blind so me staying with them was a big help, I could give him his pills, adjust his oxygen, help him into his wheel chair, and prepare him food. Whenever we could I'd drive my grandma to the store for groceries, my grandpa's prescriptions, and to check the p.o. box. I was the only grandchild who would stay with my grandpa if someone else could take my grandma to the store, but for the past 2 weeks no one had even offered to take grandma to the store so I would do that, we normally wouldn't be gone thêm than an giờ hoặc two for he was unable to get out of giường on his own, and he couldn't control his bladder and began having accidents often. My grandpa had always been my lifeline, the only person who can make me laugh, and the one there for me no matter what. Even when I was in trouble...same goes for him, hell, whenever I'd leave the house I'd tell him to behave, and he'd say "I'll try....you behave too". Everyone always đã đưa ý kiến that I am just like my grandpa, strong willed, mindset, and at times just downright stubborn, but I always đã đưa ý kiến it loud and đã đưa ý kiến it proud, I was just like grandpa. I'd always tell grandpa about LMP...I'd tell him about her interviews, what she said, what she wore, what she was up to, I told him everything. I always would be hát around him, of course it was always Lisa Marie Presley. For months I told him when Lisa's album would be out, days and even weeks ahead where she'd be performing, hoặc making a t.v. appearance. Yet he knew the most important ngày would be the ngày that I was to see Lisa in buổi hòa nhạc all the way in Nashville Tennessee, a 14 giờ drive from Ft. Myers Florida. I had started working on a special project for Lisa when I would meet her about 2 weeks cách đây I started working thêm progressively for it. Every time I was online hoặc on the computer he knew that it was for my "Lisa project". I always told him how many days it was until the concert, but I don't ever think it occurred to him that it was August 2nd, his 71st birthday. On his 53rd anniversary with my grandma we didn't do much, I reminded him that it was there anniversary, and he didn't say much...he knew what ngày the anniversary was, but didn't realize that it was that exact day. My grandma ended up being the one to tell him that I was going to the Lisa buổi hòa nhạc on his b-day, though I'm not sure if she đã đưa ý kiến that it would be on his b-day, hoặc just Saturday August 2nd...so now looking back on it I think, OMG, I never đã đưa ý kiến bye to him when I left Friday morning to pack for the concert...I knew I'd be back to visit him before I left to leave for Nashville, but maybe he didn't realize it...Lord knows, he was out of it, he stopped responding to people, the nurses did warn us of this ahead of time though. But Thursday night I stayed up all night with him at the Hope Hospice House...every giờ hoặc so he'd wake up and try to lift his head and say something...I would just whisper to him that it was o.k. that it was me and that I was there for him. When I went trang chủ to pack Friday it was about 12:30....everyone kept telling me I needed to go trang chủ and pack for the trip...I was hesitent, I didn't want to leave at all. My family kept telling me that I had been there for 4 weeks and if grandpa could speak that he would tell me to go on to Nashville because that was what I had looked phía trước, chuyển tiếp to, it was going to be the best ngày of my life and that if he died while I was gone it's what he would've wanted, that he didn't want me to have to be there when he left. I finally gave in and my sister drove me trang chủ to take a quick vòi hoa sen and pack...I knew that listening to Lisa would really get me into the mood for the trip, so I get in the vòi hoa sen and turn on the cd player....I don't know why but I had the strongest instinct to put on the song "Nobody Noticed It"...I blasted it, and of course sang along as if I owned that song (LOL!). I got out of the vòi hoa sen and got dressed...then the phone kept ringing, I saw my mom's name on the caller i.d. but decided not to answer it...I figured she'd call just to nag at me about how not to forget anything, hoặc how not to waste any money. My sis finally answered the phone and when she got off she đã đưa ý kiến that Grandpa had died at 1:30....right when I was listening to "Nobody Noticed It". I didn't realize it until later that it was during the song...the first thing I did was take a deep breath, I couldn't believe that he left me, then I hated him, I hated him for leaving me, I spent 4 weeks of my time to come stay with him and help get him better, and in return I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye. I hated him for that plain and simple. My sis started yelling at me saying it wasn't fair to grandpa, and especially to grandma if I were to go into there mad at him. I didn't want to go, I didn't want to see him...and I certainly didn't want to face grandma, hoặc be in the presence of Grandpa...he was gone, and I didn't want to be around the family either. My sister refused to leave me trang chủ alone...that's all that I wanted, was to be alone. She called my dad but all she got was his voicemail so my sister told me to put my feelings aside, to be the bigger person, and come with her and be there for grandpa and grandma. I did what I was told, I didn't say anything to my family about how they are all hypocrites, never there for grandpa, always avoiding grandma's calls if she needed to get to the store hoặc grandpa to the doctor. I had been sitting in the Hope Hospice Room with Grandpa for about 20 phút and slowly one bởi one the family left the room to where it was only my Grandpa on the bed, my grandma in the chair tiếp theo to it, my sister and cousin Cassy on the couch, and her husband Mitch tiếp theo to the other side of the couch, and me in the chair close to the door. Finally it was where I was with the family who actually was there whenever they could be, (even though my sis didn't do much for them, but she did what she could). My grandma asked if I was in the room and my sister responded saying yes, she's in the chair, and she told me to come sit on the giường with Grandpa, I told her no, she asked again, and my voice quivering thêm I đã đưa ý kiến once again no, she đã đưa ý kiến it one last time and bởi then I couldn't take it anymore and was overwhelmed and đã đưa ý kiến no and ran out the door, past my uncle and his girlfriend in the waiting room to the bathroom now in tears. My sister came after me and tried to talk to me but I was way too upset...she just held me and talked about what was bothering me and what the hardest part was. She then went on to say the first thing that grandma asked about when my sister first went into the room was "how's Aeriel" and "is she o.k.". She knew how close me and grandpa were and was thêm concerned about me than herself hoặc anyone else. I couldn't face her, she Mất tích her husband, the person she'd known for all of her life, the man she had 5 children with, built a life with since she married him at the tender age of 15 and had their first child at 16. Yet here I am, only having him in my life for 15 years, but having gone on summer vacations with every năm since I was about 8 until he got too sick to travel with, and having lived with him the first 2 hoặc 3 years of my life with while my parents worked, and who would always teach me everything I needed to know to grow up with was now gone, yet my grandma was concerned about me, not her, but me. It totally blew my mind, but I knew logically she was right to be concerned, but I wrote it off as if it was nothing and that it was completely ridiculous. I knew I had to leave soon before my grandma asked about me again to come in, hoặc before the other family members started looking at me funny hoặc whatever. I just felt so uncomfortable I wanted to get out quick. bởi that time I'd reached my dad on his cell phone and he đã đưa ý kiến he was on his way to pick me up and take me back trang chủ to finish the packing. I went trang chủ and finished in a hurry, went back to my grandma & grandpa's apartment for a few things I had forgotten and that's when I saw my grandma. She didn't say much just asked me that if when I come trang chủ whether hoặc not I'd like to stay with her in the apartment...I đã đưa ý kiến I didn't know, I wasn't sure about anything anymore, if I could handle being around her, hoặc in the apartment with so many memories, hoặc for whatever reason. I asked her if she had any socks because I left so quickly I forgot to pack some, my grandma went into the bedroom and came back out with a pair, she đã đưa ý kiến they were grandpa's and that I could wear them if I wanted to. I felt so special right then, that she would give me something of his to wear. I then left for the airport and got on the plane....the whole time I was thinking "This can't be happening"....that's all I can describe it as...of course now I've got "Indifferent" stuck in my head because of that one line, but still (LOL!). I was in denial for about a ngày hoặc so, after meeting Lisa I have to say that I did know and understand everything....it was just something she said, hoặc how real she was with me that clicked and something went off inside my head that was telling me that I had to make it last and di chuyển on with my life. Saturday morning I woke up and I ran into the bathroom because I realized what ngày it was, Saturday August 2nd...what would've been my grandpa's 71st birthday. I couldn't breathe and felt very sick, I hadn't eaten anything the ngày before and the thought of thực phẩm made me sick to my stomach. I got dressed and my sister and I went to breakfast with her advisor she had for when she went to college in Tennessee...I ate some bánh xèo, bánh kếp because my sister insisted I eat something before my friend Tara got into town. We finished eating and I told my sister that I needed to go get some makeup from the drugstore because of the hectic past 2 days I never got a chance to get some. When we were checking out at the register we got a call from Tara that she was at the hotel and we left for the hotel. The rest of the ngày hanging out I still didn't believe my grandpa was gone....and I couldn't believe I was seeing Lisa that night either, but anticipation was building up but I didn't get bướm in my stomach until I was actually sitting in my ghế, chỗ ngồi at the buổi hòa nhạc waiting for Lisa to come onstage, but I'll get to all of that in a minute. While at the convention center (which was where the người hâm mộ meet up was originally scheduled to be at) I ran into a fellow Lisa người hâm mộ and poster on Lisa's forum, LovinLisa! We had a great time hanging out and talking about Lisa, we even got pictures together...it was awesome, totally the coolest experience to meet another Lisa fan, and literally on the street, LOL! Of course we couldn't leave without taking pictures of Tara and me in front of Lisa's bus, and we even got some video footage of that. Tara and I along with my sister and her friend decided to go get some lunch before heading back to the hotel to get ready for the concert. When we got to the hotel it took me about an giờ to straighten my hair and do my makeup, get into my outfit, and of course take some "before" (meeting Lisa) pictures, LOL! My sister, Tara, and I then got into our red giống ngựa rừng ở mể tây cơ, mustang rental car, and of course, blasted Lisa with the windows rolled down all the way to the Ryman Auditorium!. Once we got there I went to get my backstage passes and then went up to the một giây floor to buy some Lisa memorabillia, I bought two Lisa shirts, and even my sister got into it and bought one for herself which surprised me quite a bit. We then went and got our seats, front row right (as if bạn were on stage looking out). Then I saw a guy ask someone on stage if there was anyway he could get a đàn ghi ta, guitar tab and I was like WTF! Why didn't I think of that? LOL!....so I was like o.k...well, I bet he's not meeting Lisa so it's all good, who cares about a đàn ghi ta, guitar tab when this is Lisa we're talking about, LOL! The tiếp theo thing I know Lisa's band comes on stage and starts playing and we all start clapping, a few giây later Lisa walks on stage and the crowd went wild! I'm telling bạn people were screaming, Tara and I stood up and screamed "Go Lisa" and then Lisa opened up with "Better Beware". Every time Lisa started doing that dancing with her hips the crowd screamed and whistled...it was the best feeling in the world to hear people screaming and being as excited as bạn to see Lisa! Lisa got a very long standing ovation after her first song with people screaming "We tình yêu you" and me screaming "Lisa bạn kick ass" LOL! It had to have lasted at least 3 hoặc 4 minutes! Lisa interacted a LOT with the audience, talking, and joking around, It was practically as good as her performing because it was Lisa just being Lisa which is the coolest thing to me ever! Throughout the buổi hòa nhạc I was eyeing one of the guitarists and especially while Lisa introduced her band I really yelled for a certain guitarist, Don. He was amazing....I know a lot of những người hâm mộ are all about Michael...but I don't know, I'm just weird...I never follow the crowd, LOL! Well, all I can say is that he is sooo talented, and very cute! Well...after Lisa went offstage her band did too...and as Don walked off he winked at me and threw me his towel! OMG! I freaked out totally! I screamed "I tình yêu you" and "You rock"! I couldn't believe what had just happened...and let me tell you....neither could my sister, LMAO! It was hilarious, she was like "Aeriel!" OMFG!....how the hell did bạn do that? I was like I didn't do anything! LOL!....and Tara was like OMG....he threw that right at you! And everyone around me was like wow, that's so cool...and my sister kept going on about how it's my first concert, I get front row seats, I get to meet Lisa, AND that happened! LOL!....it was the best giờ of my life!!!! Sierra, Tara, and I then go back to where we were supposed to meet Tyler for the Meet and Greet and waited about ten hoặc fifteen phút before we go down to the stairs to wait for your party's turn to go in and see Lisa. We had been waiting about 15 hoặc so phút before I noticed that there was somebody coming down the stairs, of course me oblivious to anyone around me because I could see Lisa from where I was standing didn't even turn to see who it was, but my sister goes Aeriel! Look who it is...I turn around and it's Don! Right there in front of me! I was like OMG! Will bạn sign this for me? And handed him the towel and đã đưa ý kiến sure, and asked how to spell my name and I told him and he signed it and gave me a hug! bởi then I totally died and went to heaven....I couldn't believe what was happening! Of course I was soooo blown away I didn't think to ask him to take a picture with me...now looking back on it I'm sooo mad! I am like god! It was the perfect chance and I fucking blew it! My sis just laughs about it and is like "well maybe if bạn weren't so ngôi sao struck and pulled yourself together bạn could've". LOL! About 30 giây later I hear someone behind me again, and this time, I got smart and turned around and it was Michael...so I say "Michael...can bạn sign this for me please" and he looks at me and smiles and goes "hey! that's don's towel he threw bạn isn't it" I go yeah, and laughed, and he jokes "ok...I'll do it when he's not looking" and he signed it! I was like, damn, this night can't get any better, and then I think, hell, it will...I'll be meeting Lisa any một phút now! LOL! So one of Lisa's people ask what my diễn đàn name is so he can go in and tell Lisa, and I told him I was RoyalLisaMarie and a few phút later he says we can go in now. My sister goes in first shakes Lisa's hand and goes "I'm Sierra", then Tara does the same (except says her name, not my sis's LOL), and then I go in and Lisa extends her hand toward me and I say "My name is Aeriel" and I shake it and at that moment I thought...OMFG....all of what I've been waiting for is here, right now! Then it got quiet because I didn't know what to say, well I knew what to say, I just didn't know where to start...LOL! My sis then turns to me and goes "Aeriel...why don't bạn tell Lisa about how much you've gone through to get here"....so I began to tell Lisa how I'd been living with my grandpa for the past 4 hoặc so weeks and how he was very sick, that my grandma was legally blind so I basically was the one to help out the most and take care of him, how no one would take care of my grandpa and take him to the hospital hoặc hope hospice house so I called and kept on until someone listened to me and took him in, but most importantlythat he was the one person I was closest to and even though I didn't point blank say "he was like my dad" I'm pretty sure she got the message because the whole time she looked at me as I was speaking directly in the eyes and once I finished talking she đã đưa ý kiến "I've been there before" and was the most sincere person I've ever heard...she KNEW, everyone else always tries to offer condolences and help, but all bạn want to do is say "fuck off" bạn don't know a damn thing about what I'm feeling...but with Lisa it was different, SHE FUCKING KNEW!....I couldn't get over it, and for the first time I think I truly understood what she'd gone through...I'd never known anyone who had passed away, and I knew it must be hard for Lisa with all she'd been through...but I can honestly say I knew at that exact một giây that I was with someone who knew and cared just as me. What I keep hearing her repeat in my head was "It's good to get away from....that", and she was sooo right, she put it into words and I'll never forget that moment ever. I went on to tell Lisa why the project I was working on wasn't finished, and she was so cool about it, and she thanked me for coming all the way from Florida to see her, and that she was very happy I made it to the concert. I told her how the one thing that helped me through it all was "Nobody Noticed It" and she đã đưa ý kiến thank bạn again, and asked me if I wanted her to sign the project I was working on, and I đã đưa ý kiến yes, she asked where and I đã đưa ý kiến wherever she wanted, then she asked if the front was ok...and I đã đưa ý kiến yes...she opened it up and was looking through it and kept telling me that it was so amazing, she even showed it to the camera person who was filming us and kept repeating about how much that meant to her that I had done that. I then told her about how whenever I'm having a conversation with someone I'll respond hoặc say something bởi a quote from her and everyone always goes "omg...aeriel, Lisa đã đưa ý kiến that!"...LOL! Then Tara says "yeah...she's been using the word premeditated a lot" and Lisa looks up and I go "I wasn't THAT premeditated" and Lisa laughed! It was the best thing to be able for her to see that in action...and to see her get a kick out of it as well...LOL! Then as Lisa was signing Tara's áo sơ mi Tara goes "I have a câu hỏi about David Letterman" and Lisa didn't look up but before Tara đã đưa ý kiến another word Lisa goes "the maggot" I was like "OMG! Lisa!...that was the EXACT thing she was thinking about!" LOL!...it was fucking hilarious! Tara was like "yeah...did bạn say he was a maggot, hoặc it was a maggot" LOL!...Lisa answered her and it was the funniest thing to happen ever! Then while Lisa was signing something my sis had được trao her Lisa goes "I was on the diễn đàn yesterday and someone đã đưa ý kiến LMP Arrested? as a thread" and she joked about it, and Tara went along and was like "so, what'd they say bạn were arrested for" LMAO! It was just great...I think Lisa's response was like I don't even know! LOL!....We had also heard that Priscilla was at the hiển thị and Tara knew my sis really wanted to meet her, so she goes "Where's Priscilla" and her response was something like "Yeah...where the hell is my mom" and she turned to one of her people and someone goes "out watching Chris Isaak's show"....LOL! It was fucking hilarious! It was just one of those moments that bạn can laugh about after the fact! Then Tara wasn't going to stop there with her questions, she goes, "are your kids with you" and Lisa đã đưa ý kiến they weren't but they were coming in the tiếp theo day. Then Tara asked Lisa if we could take separate pictures because she's in Arkansas and I'm in Florida and she was real cool about it and đã đưa ý kiến sure. As Lisa and I went to take our picture she looked at my pants and goes "I have pants just like those!"...OMG! I laughed soo hard! I was going to say "yeah, that's where I got the idea from" but my sis was like yeah, she looked forever for those in the mall" LOL! We took the picture and then Tara took her picture with Lisa and we đã đưa ý kiến bye and walked out of the room, but before we walked out I guess Lisa đã đưa ý kiến she'd see us again, and Tara asked if she was coming back to Nashville and she đã đưa ý kiến she wasn't sure but she'd see us again...I missed that part of the convo, I was still on đám mây nine thinking about how I finally got to meet Lisa, and it was the best moment of my life! When I got back to the hotel room I was in disbelief that I had met Lisa, but really sad that she was leaving...I wanted to go on tour with her sooo badly! LMAO!...that would've been great, but I guess I also really avoided going home, I didn't want to go back because I knew my grandpa's funeral was Monday. Of course there was nowhere for me to go but back trang chủ so the tiếp theo ngày Tara and I đã đưa ý kiến goodbye, got some thêm video footage of us together, and she left for Arkansas, and me for the airport to catch a plane to Florida. The rest of the ngày Sunday all I was thinking about was how much I missed being around Lisa already, and worrying about when would be the tiếp theo time I'd ever get to see her because the only thing that kept me going after my grandpa died was knowing that I'd see Lisa...but now that it was over I went from the denial stage of his death to avoidance. Monday at the funeral I were my LMFP Bite This áo sơ mi with a black sweater over it...that morning was the family viewing, I had never been so uncomfortable in my life...I didn't want to see him, then I knew that I'd never hear him laugh, see him smile, hoặc have him tease me again....I refused to go up to him to say goodbye, I didn't want to see him like that...I wanted to remember him alive...my cousins kept telling me he looks so much better than he had in years, that he looked like the old "pawpaw" as they refer to him...I kept saying no, I don't want to see my grandpa like this, and if I went up there I didn't want everyone looking at me cuz I knew if I went up there I'd cry and I hate being observed and having everyone watch every di chuyển and reaction. It chilled me to the bone...plus I knew my grandma would want to say something to me, hoặc be near me and I couldn't face that...not after running out of the room when she wanted me to sit tiếp theo to him on the giường right after he passed away. About an giờ later the service began and I sat in the back but in a ghế, chỗ ngồi because someone insisted that since I was a family member that I should have a ghế, chỗ ngồi instead of standing in the back. I sat down tiếp theo to my sister, the minister basically talked about "letting go" and "moving on" and how grandpa was in a "better place" words that I just didn't want to hear. They didn't talk about my grandpa as a person, how funny he was, and how he always looked out for all the girls best interests, and put all the boys in line, (lol). They didn't say how he survived his death bead many times before and had survived through what killed most people. I guess that upset me quite a bit...and the fact that they had the nerve to stand there and say how we should react and what we should do, and all this "god" bullshit that I was getting really tired of hearing the past year. I was raised Christian...but after going through so much hell in my life I couldn't take it anymore and it took everything in me not to stand up and say what I felt...but I had to respect Grandpa...I wanted everything to be perfect for him...and I didn't want it to be any harder on my Grandma than it had to be. Right now I still believe my grandpa's in the tiếp theo room alseep, waiting for him to start banging his cane on the dresser so I can run into the room and give him his medicine, hoặc fix his oxygen. My mom will tell me not to leave the apartment if my grandma and her sister are gone to the store since no one will be there...I was about to say, Grandpa will be there...but I forgot that he was gone, last night I was on the computer late beginning to type my "Lisa experience" and I pass through to the bedroom to check on him and I realize he's not there, that he's gone, I go out on the porch where he'd spend hours slumped over in the wheelchair just so he can be outside and I think that I'm going to check on him to make sure he's alright...and he's not there. So many times the past weekend I'll think, "I need to call and tell my grandma where my grandpa's b-day card is, but I realize he's not here, hoặc I'd talk about how I can't wait to tell grandpa about it, but realize again, he's not here". Him not being here is something I'll never get used to...I know 80 years later when I'm 95 I'll still expect him to be in the tiếp theo room when I go and check on him. It's not fair that I have to go that long without him when my grandma doesn't have to but for thêm than another 20 years if that....everyone's preparing for her to go too...they've been together all their lives and they say after one goes, it's not uncommon for the tiếp theo to go because that person was their sole reason for living. I thought it would be too hard for me to keep living with my grandma in the apartment...but for me it seems easier for me to stay here so I can pretend like nothing has changed, and that he'll come back soon. Before my Grandpa died I planned on living here for the tiếp theo 3 years until I graduated from highschool....now I don't know what I'm going to do....I just know that "home" with my mom and her bf just isn't where I belong. My grandma đã đưa ý kiến if I wanted for the tiếp theo two months she'd stay living in the apartment and once Hope Hospice comes to take my grandpa's hospital giường and oxygen that I could have his room as mine, I want that...it makes me feel closer to him. My grandma has được trao me a pair of his socks...and even his blanket she hasn't washed yet. I wish I could've told my grandpa how my trip with Lisa went....but I can't, and now I'm dealing with it một phút bởi minute....but I can still say the best thing and the only thing that kept me going was Lisa Marie Presley...her music, and the person she is, because she is the best role model out there. So I thank Lisa from the bottom of my heart...you truly are my inspiration, and the reason for me being alive. I tình yêu bạn girl!