Harry Potter Club
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posted by SwarlsBarkley
Compiled from the Twitter contest held bởi @nerdist.

JanetVarney: Yo momma so fat the Sorting Hat put her in all four houses

chris8675309: Yo mamma so stupid, she thinks Sirius Black is the soul station on satellite radio

sarazafar: Yo mama so fat she tried to eat Cornelius Fudge

dino_rider: Yo mama’s so ugly the Dementor’s Kiss was swapped out for a hearty handshake and a promise to give her a call sometime.

bradheintz: Yo mama so nasty, Dobby wouldn’t take her sock

Burnaway: Yo momma so skanky, even her patronus got knocked up

chompychomp: Yo mama so stupid, she drowned in a pensieve

Dick_M: yo momma so dumb she thought that she could talk to snakes if she put parsley on her tongue

dtejano: Yo mama’s so masculine, she makes Dumbledore go, “DAAAYYYUMM!”

habcous: yo mamma so nasty, every pair of her panties has the Dark Mark

HakSolo: your mom is so fat if she confronted a boggart it would morph into a treadmill

dantelfer: Yo mamma so fat, she has to enchant her panties into a portkey to get out of a chair

dirk_funk: Yo mama so fat it takes two boggarts to shape-shift into her

MarioEGarcia: yo mama so poor she went to Honeydukes and put a Sô cô la frog on layaway

melgotserved: Yo momma’s so fat she got stuck in the Floo Network

melgotserved: Yo momma’s so fat her wand is a Slim Jim

MikeDrucker: Yo’ Momma so fat she joined the Death Eaters ’cause she was hungry

MsJG: Yo Momma’s so fugly that even Voldemort won’t speak her name

paulscheer: Yo Mamma is so fat that even the Dementors can’t suck out her soul in one sitting

phirm: Yo Mama so nasty, everybody call her “She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Naked”

Taborifica: Yo momma so fat even her Quidditch robes have stretch marks

MarioEGarcia Yo momma's so fat the sorting hat assigned her to the House of bánh xèo, bánh kếp     

cvgurau: Your momma so dumb, they put the Sorting Hat on her head and all it heard was an echo.     

chris8675309: Your momma so fat, she looked in the mirror of Erised and saw a ham

DavidAkers: Yo momma so old, there ain't an Age Line that can stop her.     

elchupahueso: your family's so poor that bạn make the weaseleys look like the Malfoy's!     

girl_noir: Yo mamma so fat, she splinched herself an' nobody noticed.     

HakSolo: Your mom is so ugly when she walked into Gringotts Wizarding Bank, they gave her a job application.     

hollibo83: yo mama so ugly when she was born the doctor screamed "riddikulus"     

MarioEGarcia: Yo mama so old, she used to babysit Dumbledore     

DavidAkers: Yo momma so ugly, no one can tell when she's an Animagus.

R-Silent: Yo momma so fat her patronus is a cake
added by Misstmor
added by PotterGal
added by kathiria82
I will miss Richard Griffiths very greatly. He was a fantastic actor and a great loss. He did an awesome job bringing Vernon Dursley to life the way he did.

Sometimes his true warmth peeked through, as in that one neat scene in the film Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone where he is talking about Sundays being a ‘fine day’ and asks why that is; Harry Melling’s Dudley shrugs his shoulders. Daniel’s Harry asks him if the reason was because there was no post on Sundays, and Richard momentarily dropped the Vernon persona and beamed warmly at him, replying with “Right bạn are, Harry”...
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I tossed and turned around in giường as I tried to fall asleep. It was the ngày before I left for Hogwarts for the new school year. I don’t know whether it was excitement hoặc just that I had forgotten to pack something that kept me from falling asleep. I had packed all my robes, other clothes, sách and all other stuff the ngày before so that I wouldn’t have to participate in a scavenger hunt with Mum in the morning.
I sighed and turned over in giường again. The only nguồn of light I had was the faint light of the crescent moon outside, meaning I couldn’t really see much.
I closed my eyes but sleep...
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posted by AoifeF1
 "I enjoyed playing a real character, someone I really had to transform into definitely."
"I enjoyed playing a real character, someone I really had to transform into definitely."
Emma Watson bristles at the mere mention of the name Hermione Granger.

She has nothing against her one-time alter ego as such, but for 12 years of her life she has had to live the squeaky-clean schoolgirl character from the Harry Potter franchise.

Indeed, since the age of nine when she was first cast in the role, she has lived the magical world of Hogwarts and Hagrids and now shifts uncomfortably in her chair with the reference to the character that made her a household name and turned her life upside down.

"I'm just enjoying now being naughty," she says with a giggle in reference to her new films...
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posted by Flora_Swift
1) Ravenclaw: If you're going to insult me, please be grammatically correct.

2) Gryffindor: Because a friend will cover for you. But a real friend would sit net to bạn in detention and say that was so worth it.

3) Neville: OMG! I killed Harry Freaking Potter!
SOMEWHERE IN THE DISTANCE:
Voldermort: Nooooooooooooo!!!! I wanted to do it! *sob*

4) Severus Snape is so GOTH "he lives in the dark"

5) The sách in the resticted section of the libary needs anger management.

6) THINGS THAT I AM NOT ALLOWED TO DO AT HOGWARTS 64: First years are not to be fed to Fluffy.

7) THINGS THAT I AM NOT ALLOWED TO DO AT...
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All I could see was a magnificent building, with thousands of windows and lights. Many people were walking up the steps to the main entrance. An old man with a long white beard wore purple and silver robes, with a pointed hat to match. He had a danh sách with names over it, ticking them off as the people reached the doors. I walked towards the man, and noticed all of the other people were in robes with a school crest embroidered onto them. I wore only my jeans and tshirt. "Name?" The old man asked me. "Ronald Weasley" I replied and looked at him. He scanned the danh sách and shook his head. "Sorry, young...
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Summary: - He never thought he could tình yêu a girl thêm than he loved Hermione. But he was wrong. He loved her thêm than anybody. He loved her thêm than Hermione.

English is NOT my first language.

DISCLAIMER:- I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER. I'm serious.


It was still dark outside. As dark as it could get on a full moon night. Ron Weasley was lying on his giường facing the sleeping form of the girl he loved most. Moonlight falling on her face was giving her a strange glow. She was sleeping peacefully; her eyes squeezed shut as if she was having some dream. A blanket was covering her upto her shoulders leaving...
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I got this off another website, check it out:

How do bạn know you're taking Harry Potter too seriously?

Your computer says "You've Got Mail" and bạn run outside looking for an owl.
bạn ask for a cây chổi, chổi for Christmas.
bạn sort everyone bạn meet into the four Hogwarts houses.
bạn went out and bought the latest edition of the Webster's Dictionary because they added the word "muggle".
bạn were burned trying to get through the flames of your fireplace.
bạn were kicked out of the movie theater for standing on your chair, throwing your shoe at the screen and yelling "THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN IN THE BOOK!"
posted by SpecialAgentKat
Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts: ...

1) Seamus Finnegan is not after me lucky charms
2) I will not sing "we're off to see the wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office.
3) I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class
4) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss
5) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda
6) Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar
7) First years are not allowed to be fed to Fluffy
8) I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his "time of the month"
9) I will not give Hagrid Pokémon cards and convince him they're real...
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posted by Hermione-Fan361
Part 2 Christmas
---Thanks to peppergirl30 for help editing---

Scorpius POV
          "C'mon, Scorpius! Race bạn to the station!"  Rose yelled, flying past me. "Hey! No fair!" I protested, sprinting to catch up. It was Christmastime, and many students were heading trang chủ for the holidays. Rose and I stepped onto the platform at the same time. "Tie!" I huffed, trying to catch my breath. We boarded the train, and Albus walked over. "I'm gonna go sit with James. See you." he said, before taking off after his brother. Rose found an empty compartment within seconds. "Here." she said, opening the...
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Credit: link. I didn't write it myself.

"I like taking pointless Facebook surveys as much as the tiếp theo person. But, since they’re mostly about kissing, I started to wonder how someone completely incapable of feeling tình yêu might handle such things. So I just had to tag my good pal Lord Voldemort in my most gần đây survey. Here's what he had to say:

Was your last Kiss standing up, sitting down, hoặc lying down?
The only Kiss I believe in is the Dementor's kiss, and as I have very little soul remaining in my withered husk of a body, one would have little effect on me.

Whose giường were bạn on last?
Nagini's,...
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1. Harry James Potter:

He taught me that i can withstand anything with the power of love. When most of the wizarding world thought he was a joke (because he believed Voldemort was back) He did not back down. He đã đưa ý kiến he believed Voldemort was alive and stuck to it. He did not care who laughed at him, who believed him and who did not because he knew Hermione and Ron were standing bởi him, too. He taught me sheer willpower.
He taught me to take responsibility. It is not always about what i want hoặc need. It about what is right. What is right for the ones i care about. He taught me to put others first,...
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posted by bendaimmortal
I think there's something fishy to it. Because it's horribly unreliable and through that horribly unfair and useless.

Some theorize that magical children are born with the Trace but I don't think so because the sách talk about it as something that is put on people, as in a charm. And in magic it should be possible to make a thêm specifically effective charm. Even the Magic Quill at Hogwarts lists the names of every magical inhdividual born. The Trace should be working the samw way but it isn't.

I've racked my brain with the Trace matters after I (in the các câu trả lời part of thsi club) brought up...
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posted by ChuckQueenB
I don't know things about bạn but in my side, i will really miss my childhood movie. I was growing up with this movie. I really can't beliave the end has came. I will miss the perfect friendsip trio; Harry-Hermione-Ron.
I will miss Romione couple. At the beggining, we all thought there will be a chemistiry between Harry and Hermione but as the time goes on, we all learned how can tình yêu be possible, funny. We loved Romione!Their fights were the beggining of a big love. :)

I really tình yêu this movie because when ron left hermione and fight with Harry, Hermione cried at all nights but she pretended like she does never care. And she tried to help Harry all the time. She didn't hurt herself hoặc stopped being.

I will never forget the most enjoyable Beautiful perfect movie in my life.!
i really want to know your ideas. I will always be watching and nghề viết văn các bình luận about it!
and do't forget that; LEGEDS ARE UNFORGETTABLE:))
Your yêu thích devils thực phẩm cake recipe, made into cupcakes
black string licorice

Instructions
Bake your bánh nướng nhỏ according to the instructions, without using paper cup liners.
Slice off the hàng đầu, đầu trang of the crown of each cupcake so that when it is turned upside down, it sits flat. This gives bạn thêm of a cauldron shape than a cupcake shape.
Cut the black string licorice into small pieces and poke them into the bánh nướng nhỏ as cauldron handles.


Ingredients
dark chocolate
dry chow mein noodles

Instructions
Melt your Sô cô la until smooth.
Stir in noodles until the mixture is thick enough to hold together.
Spoon bite-sized clusters onto wax paper and let harden in the refrigerator.
If bạn want longer-lasting candy, melt 1 stick cooking paraffin per 12 oz of Sô cô la before adding the noodles.
These can be frozen, just thaw before serving.
I throw my wand up in the air sometimes
saying,"Ah-oh, my name is Draco!"

I wanna celebrate and kill Dumbledore
saying "Ah-oh,old man, just let go."

We gonna rock the school
We gonna go all night
We gonna light professors up
like they're dynamite!

Cause I dueled bạn once,
Now I dueled bạn twice

We gonna light them up
like they're dynamite.

We gotta move, move, move, move
Get out the way of me and my crew, crew, crew, crew,
Sanpe, Bellatrix and Fenrir too, too, too, too,
It was on and on and on,
Now Albus is gone and gone and gone, yeah!



CREDITS:
greekgirlA,and boredcreativity have made this    
(gryffindorgal made the last part)

become a người hâm mộ of us and we will make thêm spoof songs to your favorites! just tell us the song,
and only if bạn become a fan!
If only we could be together,
bạn and I,
But our parents would never allow it,
bạn and I,
Our hearts are broken,
Yours and mine,
I weep for you,
My dear Rose,
Tears run down my face,
Like water flows.
I tình yêu the way your wand made flowers,
Made me feel like I had super powers.
I tình yêu your spirit,
Fierce but charming,
Complimenting and healing mine,
Which is hurtfull and harming.
My dad's a butt,
My mum is too,
But bạn made my tim, trái tim soar,
When I was with YOU.
Your the best witch ever,
Inherrited your mum's brains,
Your hair is fiery,
Like a bright pretty flame.
If only we could be together,
bạn and I,
Forever together,
bạn and I
1) Attempt to use Snape's oily hair to cook chips

2) Send Snape shampoo

3) Take pictures of himself while showering and then sell them to the female population of Hogwarts.

4) Give Remus a makeover while he is asleep.

5) Ask the potions professor whether the day's assignment can be used a sexual lubricant.

6) Sign his essays 'Seriously Sexy Sirius'.

7) Convince Remus that all the sách in the thư viện have been stolen and that it is closing down.

8) Tell First years that Filch is the Voice of God.

9)Tell people that it's Remus' Time of the tháng when he tells First Years off for breathing too loudly.

10)Calling Lucius Malfoy "Luscious Mouthful" is just plain gross

11)I will not change the mật khẩu to the prefects' bath to "Makes getting clean almost as much fun as getting dirty".