WARNING This bài viết might be quite offensive to twilight, so if you're a người hâm mộ of twilight (especially if you're one of these crazy fangirls) please do not waste your time to read this and comment. I know there's no point of me telling bạn this because you'll read and bình luận anyways, but at least I tried.
Dear characters of twilight,
Bella, please get a life. When peoples' tình yêu leave them, they try to stay strong and keep fighting for what is worth it like Hermione did. They do not curl up in the fetal position and go numb for weeks like bạn did.
Edward, bạn think you're hot when bạn sparkle? Well you're not. And your taste in women is reckless. Who falls in tình yêu with someone who can barley put two words together? Plus, who the hell is so dumb to change from a really cool character (Cedric) to such a loser (Edward)?
Jacob, it was so so SO dumb of bạn to fall in tình yêu with someone who is five phút old. And your choice of women is reckless as well because bạn fell in tình yêu with the same chick the other jerk, what's his name again? Oh yeah, Edward.
Carlisle, bạn call yourself and your clan vampires? bạn guys don't even come close to mosquitoes who drink only a drop of human blood. Yeah, that's so smart of bạn not drinking human blood. If a vampire drinks he drinks human blood, THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE FREAKING KNOWN FOR!!
Esme, bạn barley even talk in the whole series!! I thought the mom is suppose to be a big part of all this. I think bạn should pay thêm attention to Molly Weasley to know what a real mom is.
James, Please stop trying to talk posher than Queen Elizabeth. No one talks like that and it's not cool at all. And you're seriously comparing yourself to Voldemort? Seriously? Oh God if he heard this he would be so embarrassed.... oh wait... villains don't get embarrassed unlike somebody here.
Victoria, bạn think you're so cool an badass huh? Well lets call Bellatrix and see how badass you'll be then! Yeah I'll bet she'll be having your đít, mông, ass on ngọn lửa, chữa cháy in a matter of seconds!
Renesmee, bạn do not believe how sorry I feel for you. First, bạn have an incredibly dumb sparkling mom, a huge show-off sparkling dad, and a psycho werewolf boyfriend that is older than bạn in like what? 18 years? Second, your dumb mom gave bạn an even dumber name. Renesmee Carlie Cullen. What a shame.... I feel really sorry for bạn kid.
Rosalie, you're just as much as a hiển thị off as Edward. bạn think you're so pretty and all? Well bạn know what I think? I think Lord Voldemort is prettier than you! And he's bald and doesn't have a nose! The only thing I ever liked bạn for is that bạn used to hate Bella. But yet again, bạn USED to hate Bella, bạn don't anymore so I don't like bạn at all.
Jasper, Good Job imitating Harry on the messy hair, too bad it didn't work. And good for bạn Harry never saw it, he would pass out. Though if bạn ate Bella in New Moon he would actually like you, but bạn didn't so HA!
Emmett, What can I say here? Your whole Teddy chịu, gấu reputation is getting boring. So don't even try, no one will ever be as big, awesome and cuddly as Hagrid.
Alice, I think bạn have to take lessons from Trelawney to learn how to see the future, at least she can predict exactly what would happen and not just possibilities. And stop trying to get được ưa chuộng and cool bởi organizing parties and all, because that's realy getting stupid.
Aro, if you're an evil vampire, no if you're even a vampire I'm Ron's Quidditch hat!! Nuf said
Jane, if bạn think you're cool you're wrong. I can call Fred and George and make bạn guys compete. And don't even try to use your powers because they're not dumb not to put some spell that blocks that.
Regards, a Harry Potter fan
If bạn have any thêm additions, feel free to tell me in the các bình luận and I'll add them to the letter.
Dear characters of twilight,
Bella, please get a life. When peoples' tình yêu leave them, they try to stay strong and keep fighting for what is worth it like Hermione did. They do not curl up in the fetal position and go numb for weeks like bạn did.
Edward, bạn think you're hot when bạn sparkle? Well you're not. And your taste in women is reckless. Who falls in tình yêu with someone who can barley put two words together? Plus, who the hell is so dumb to change from a really cool character (Cedric) to such a loser (Edward)?
Jacob, it was so so SO dumb of bạn to fall in tình yêu with someone who is five phút old. And your choice of women is reckless as well because bạn fell in tình yêu with the same chick the other jerk, what's his name again? Oh yeah, Edward.
Carlisle, bạn call yourself and your clan vampires? bạn guys don't even come close to mosquitoes who drink only a drop of human blood. Yeah, that's so smart of bạn not drinking human blood. If a vampire drinks he drinks human blood, THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE FREAKING KNOWN FOR!!
Esme, bạn barley even talk in the whole series!! I thought the mom is suppose to be a big part of all this. I think bạn should pay thêm attention to Molly Weasley to know what a real mom is.
James, Please stop trying to talk posher than Queen Elizabeth. No one talks like that and it's not cool at all. And you're seriously comparing yourself to Voldemort? Seriously? Oh God if he heard this he would be so embarrassed.... oh wait... villains don't get embarrassed unlike somebody here.
Victoria, bạn think you're so cool an badass huh? Well lets call Bellatrix and see how badass you'll be then! Yeah I'll bet she'll be having your đít, mông, ass on ngọn lửa, chữa cháy in a matter of seconds!
Renesmee, bạn do not believe how sorry I feel for you. First, bạn have an incredibly dumb sparkling mom, a huge show-off sparkling dad, and a psycho werewolf boyfriend that is older than bạn in like what? 18 years? Second, your dumb mom gave bạn an even dumber name. Renesmee Carlie Cullen. What a shame.... I feel really sorry for bạn kid.
Rosalie, you're just as much as a hiển thị off as Edward. bạn think you're so pretty and all? Well bạn know what I think? I think Lord Voldemort is prettier than you! And he's bald and doesn't have a nose! The only thing I ever liked bạn for is that bạn used to hate Bella. But yet again, bạn USED to hate Bella, bạn don't anymore so I don't like bạn at all.
Jasper, Good Job imitating Harry on the messy hair, too bad it didn't work. And good for bạn Harry never saw it, he would pass out. Though if bạn ate Bella in New Moon he would actually like you, but bạn didn't so HA!
Emmett, What can I say here? Your whole Teddy chịu, gấu reputation is getting boring. So don't even try, no one will ever be as big, awesome and cuddly as Hagrid.
Alice, I think bạn have to take lessons from Trelawney to learn how to see the future, at least she can predict exactly what would happen and not just possibilities. And stop trying to get được ưa chuộng and cool bởi organizing parties and all, because that's realy getting stupid.
Aro, if you're an evil vampire, no if you're even a vampire I'm Ron's Quidditch hat!! Nuf said
Jane, if bạn think you're cool you're wrong. I can call Fred and George and make bạn guys compete. And don't even try to use your powers because they're not dumb not to put some spell that blocks that.
Regards, a Harry Potter fan
If bạn have any thêm additions, feel free to tell me in the các bình luận and I'll add them to the letter.
