Blair: I'm just as flummoxed as bạn are. I got out at 53rd and made a run for it but he is faster than he looks.
Blair: Oh Nate, what are bạn doing here? I thought there was a Mets game. I saw Dorota wearing her hat.
Blair: Penelope, take off that hideous scarf. bạn can see it from space.
Blair: Serena's been in jail for four hours, she's already served thêm time than Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Richie combined!
Blair: (to Dan) The Ladies Room? I knew bạn and Serena were having problems, but I had no clue they were anatomical.
Blair: This is a B.
Rachel: Yes. It is.
Blair: You're new here so bạn don't know how it works.
Rachel: I have a feeling you're about to explain.
Blair: một giây semester seniors get a free pass, like pregnant ladies hoặc 14-year-old Chinese gymnasts. Constance wants their students to get into the best colleges. That's why this free pass exists. The headmistress, if she knew about this grade, she'd rap bạn on the wrist.
Rachel: Maybe, in time, I'll get in trouble for not inflating grades like everyone else, Miss Waldorf, but until then, I'll give them based on merit.
Blair: hủy bỏ the Nelly Yuki project now!
Miss Queller: When I spoke to Dean Barrowby this morning, he assured me that if the student they've accepted turns them down, bạn are tiếp theo in line.
Blair: Dan Humphrey. He's like a cafeteria lady who won the lottery. bạn couldn't pry that acceptance from his hands with the jaws of life.
Serena: [hugs Dan] This is MY news.
Blair: A postcard would have been fine. I'm really happy for you. I'm going to go vomit now.
Serena: He was probably thinking about bạn the whole time he was in Thailand.
Blair: Not unless I was a Thai hooker named Bo.
Blair: [to Nate] I'm not maternal, I've just been spending too much time with Cyrus and I'm turning Jewish. Come on, I see kugel.
Blair: [to Dorota] What are bạn staring at? Go polish something.
Blair: She kissed me on the cheek and left a big trái cam, màu da cam lipstick mark, it looked like I'd been spray tanned!
Blair: A woman needs to be with a man who thinks of only her. Anything else is a non-starter. Tell him how bạn feel. DOROTA! thêm flour.
Serena: Are bạn baking already?
Blair: Dorota, are bạn insane?
Dorota: I don't know.
Blair: bạn used the everyday china. Cyrus will think we're just common upper-middle class. Get the Auberge and hurry up
Blair: I am Grace Kelly, Grace Kelly is me.
Blair: He's totally unsuitable.
Serena: Who?
Blair: Cyrus. He's five feet tall. He has a catchphrase. And he's a hugger. I was expecting Cary Grant and I got Danny DeVito!
Blair: Serena, I called bạn like 10 times last night! Where have bạn been?
Serena: I went to the dentist at lunch, and yesterday, I met Aaron in Times Square. B, it was the most romantic thing...
Blair: Who cares about plaque hoặc pretentious artists when your best friend is having a meltdown!
Emma: They call him the de-virginator.
Blair: Oh my God, stop your mouth from moving.
Emma: But now that I finally have the night away from my mom and dad, we'll see who's first. We're saying TTFN to my bạn know what.
Blair: hoặc maybe we'll see how your mom feels about your little clearance sale, little Lohan.
Emma: But you're perfect!
Blair: True.
Dan: So he just got up and left, abruptly?
Blair: Like a âm bass, tiếng bass, bass out of hell
Blair: Just because bạn two are making a doomed attempt at being Những người bạn doesn't mean I have to play the enabler.
Blair: I have an itch that only Chuck can scratch and he won't oblige unless I tell him I tình yêu him.
Dan: bạn need help getting Chuck to sleep with you? Really?
Blair: [to Serena] bạn hear the judgment in his voice right now right?
Serena: He's working on that.
Chuck: My my, that girl has gotten under your skin.
Blair: The câu hỏi is, âm bass, tiếng bass, bass — will you?
Vanessa: I can make bạn help me bạn know.
Blair: Oh, it makes jokes too!
Vanessa: Everyone knows bạn and Marcus broke up, but no one knows why. [shows picture]
Blair: Even bạn wouldn't stoop that low.
Vanessa: Blackmail works so well for bạn ... maybe I'm missing out!
Blair: [to Vanessa] What are bạn doing here with those? Shouldn't bạn be at Whole Foods?
Blair: That little troll Vanessa's working my last nerve.
Chuck: Not what I expected.
Blair: Until I realized, this could benefit both of us.
Chuck: bạn had me until "troll."
Yale Dean: The young lady before bạn told me a delightful story. She was recently in a fashion show. Just for fun.
Blair: Well, I ... know I must seem rather traditional, compared to that young lady. But isn't tradition what Yale is all about?
Blair: Since we're not Những người bạn anymore, let me speak frankly. You're not that smart. bạn lack focus and discipline. Charm is all well and good, but in the real world, knowledge is power. bạn wouldn't make it past the first round of admissions at Yale no matter how hard bạn tried.
Serena: I know bạn may find this hard to believe, but not everyone wants to go to Yale because not everyone wants to be Blair Waldorf.
Blair: Not everyone can be.
Serena: Brown is an Ivy League school.
Blair: Everyone knows that the only REAL Ivies are the holy trinity: Harvard, Yale and Princeton.
Serena: So you're off to Yale?
Blair: Your deductive reasoning skills are perfect for a place like Brown.
Serena: A place like Brown?
Blair: bạn know, an enclave of trustafarians and children of người nổi tiếng who major in drum circles and semiotics, whatever that is.
Blair: Who put Serena and that cây anh túc, thuốc phiện person in the front row!? And all those socialites?! Someone changed this chart! The chart MY mother asked me to do! Who changed it?!
Dorota: Eleanor say ... Miss Jenny change it.
Blair: Jenny Humphrey?! Guess she didn't learn her lesson last year. Looks like someone needs a refresher course.
Blair: Don't ever go to high school, Dorota. The girls are spoiled, stupid and ungrateful! One snapshot with a socialite and it's all Serena, Serena, Serena!
Chuck: Watching bạn fail spectacularly gives me so much joy.
Blair: And bạn know what bạn give to everybody else, Chuck? Misery. There's a reason you're always out here alone.
Blair: Are those Tory Burch's last-season flats?
Girl: ... I got them on sale?
Blair: This girl is Dan with boobs.
Catherine: Blair, have bạn seen Nate?
Blair: Umm, no. It's a blackout.
Blair: Not that it's any of your business, but Marcus and I have an amazing sex life.
Chuck: Really? [pauses] What names does he call bạn when bạn make love? Where does he put his hand? Does he ... [whispers] Have sex with me.
Blair: What?
Chuck: Just once, that's all I ask.
Blair: bạn are disgusting and I hate you.
Chuck: Then why are bạn still holding my hand?
Blair: It's like Roman Holiday but I'm Gregory Peck and he's Audrey Hepburn!
Blair: Your plan to ruin me totally backfired. Turns out Marcus' mommy is even sicker than bạn are.
Chuck: bạn got along great?
Blair: I think she recognized herself in me. hoặc rather, I recognized something in her.
Chuck: I don't follow.
Blair: All bạn need to know is, bạn lost. It was a solid effort.
Chuck: Tomorrow's another day.
Blair: Good night, Chuck.
Blair: This party's a complete bust. My whole life's a bust.
Chuck: I thought bạn might like to meet my friend.
Blair: Why, so she can warn me bout the effects of too much botox?
Catherine: Blair, is it? I'm Duchess Beaton.
Blair: [flabbergasted] Duchess? Nice to meet you.
Serena: This could be a good opportunity for us to talk about things, I'm still kind of down about the breakup...
Blair: What is there to talk about? You're finally free of Downer Dan and I've got my old Serena back!
Blair: Squash? I'll squash YOU.
Chuck: It's just a game, Blair.
Blair: Not to me, Basshole. I like him!
Chuck: So do I. And apparently he doesn't have too many friends.
Chuck: [to Nate] bởi the way Archibald, now that the summer's over I can tell bạn I never believed any of the talk that bạn hit it with my sis... [sees Blair] morning, Waldorf!
Blair: It was until now.
Blair: At least I could have gotten a thêm interesting stand-in than James. bạn know how hard it is to find a good fake boyfriend on short notice?
Blair: I would be in my cabana at the Hotel de Cat, and there he would be. Amid all the fireworks on Bastille Day, all I could see was that... Chuck Bass-tard!
Blair: What about all those rumors about bạn and Nate?
Serena: Mmm mmm. Not true. They just got people off my back so I could stop being sad, and Nate could go do whatever he wants, so it worked out for both of us.
Blair: bạn mean bạn haven't had ANY fun with anyone all summer?
Serena: There's this hot lifeguard that asked me out, but I, bạn know, I turned him down
Blair: A hot lifeguard is like kleenex! Use once and throw away. bạn could ask for a better rebound!
Blair: Damn that mother Chucker! He's totally right! I don't even like James!
Serena: Thank you. I was totally waiting for that.
________________________________________
Serena: I still miss Dan sometimes... thêm than sometimes.
Blair: The only thing lamer than dating Dan Humphrey... is mourning Dan Humphrey.
