Mr. Big - To Be With bạn

added by Dream-On

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RosesNRain, Rainbowroses and 2 others like this

364

posted by simpleplan

1. When the teacher says to “take a seat”, bạn answer “take it where”.
2. When the teacher calls your name at roll call, bạn answer “Absent”.
3. When she calls roll, bạn answer “yo mama”.
4. When the teacher says something, bạn say “is that so?”
5. If bạn so happened to not turn in your homework say, your class pet ate it.
6. Tell your teacher you’ll turn in your homework, as soon as your parents finish doing it.
7. Tell your teacher bạn did not turn in your homework because bạn were watching TV.
8. Fold your homework into a cootie-catcher.
9. Fold your homework into a paper...

20

-39 Pranks on Teachers!-

posted by smileypop9

1.When bạn walk into the room, run up to the teacher and stare her in the eyes. nothing more. just keep a straight face and stare. they get quite scared.

2.Before your science class starts, put a mát, máy làm mát that has "Human Head" written on top, on the front table. On the board write: "Class, we will be disecting a human head tommorrow, the sign up danh sách is on my bàn for the part bạn would like to dissect" Actually put a sign up danh sách on her desk.

3.bring a cactus to school. Raise your hand. When called upon say the cactus has a question. look at the cactus and wait for it to say something. when it...

73

comebacks after someone says you're gay.

posted by Tamar20

1)"Why, do bạn find me irresistible?"

2)"No, I just dress better than you"

3)"You're a double gay. No returnsies!"

4)"I tình yêu the một giây grade insults, *insert name here*. Honestly, isn't it strange how "gay" has come to replace "stupid"? And so what if I was gay? Insulting my sexual orientation is pointless.

NOW...if a girl says you're gay, and bạn actually are, I find the best burn is: "At least I can get a boyfriend."

5)Look them in the face with a deadpan expression. Simply say, "Yes. I'm gay," and walk away. Take their thunder away. It's such a juvenile thing to say in the first place.
Or...

68

The 56 Worst Analogies from High School Papers

posted by moodystuff449

1. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

2. He was as tall as a 6′3″ tree.

3. Her face was a perfect oval, like a vòng tròn that had its two sides gently compressed bởi a Thigh Master.

4. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

5. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

6. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

7. The ballerina...

161

50 Things Guys Wish Girls Knew: (Guys perspective)

posted by CullenProperty

1. We aren’t mind readers!
2. We are not to be used as pawns in trying to make your girlfriends jealous.
3. When bạn sleep over never boss me around in giường unless it is during sex.
4. Smoking is the biggest turn off.
5. It never hurts to work out.
6. If bạn don’t want to hear the truth, don’t ask the question.
7. “Fine” hoặc “whatever” is not an appropriate ending to a conversation.
8. If bạn want sex, just ask. (In case bạn didn’t already know.)
9. Don’t expect guys to say as many sweet things as they do in the movies. (It takes a lot of guys and their wives to come up with those...

149

61 Things Girls dont know about Guys- this is in a Guys Point of View

posted by milorox18

1. Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them! (oh yeah..you're not "popular" if you've slept with thêm than 5 guys..you're a HOE)

2. "Hey, are bạn busy?" hoặc "Are bạn doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

3... Guys may be flirting around all ngày but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

5. Guys go crazy over a girl's...

9

tên người dùng Ideas (The majority are either dark hoặc emo)

posted by RaininStarburst

I got bored, so here bạn go.

1. BlueEyedDemon

2. SuicidalSlut

3. MaliciousIntent

4. GloomyTears

5. Blacklight

6. DarkSunshine

7. FallenIsolation

8. DrowningInTears

9. DismalAngel

10. FallenSolitude

11. HopingInSolitude

12. SilentCall

13. CountingOnRain

14. CalledForMishap

15. RuefulDestiny

16. FallenAngel

17. KilledByAnAngel (I know for a fact it's taken on here bởi my twin sis but I made it up)

18. FlamingCore

19. Darkenin(g)InRegret (The G could be taken off if there is a 15 character like on Fanpop)

20.Itrieditathome

21. RunWithScissors

22. PlaydateWithFire (Over 15 characters but... I like it)

23. RejectedStar...

90

67 cute and funny things... (GIRLS ONLY!!)

posted by Dreamer4eva

1.In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes. I'll have twenty.
2.Sometimes bạn make me so mad i wanna throw bạn in the middle of on-going traffic; but then i realize i would probably kill myself trying to save you.
3.im the type of girl who would burst out laughing in the middle of silence because of something that happened... yesterday.
4.so ill walk the plank & jump with a smile if im going down ill do it in style bạn wont hear me surrender.
5.the truth hurts so we lie
6.silence is golden, duct tape is silver
7.i know your probably thinking oh no she didnt but i just so totally...

132

FUNNY INSULTS..must read

posted by iluvsmj

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!

Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what the hell happen to you?

Right now I'm sitting here looking at bạn trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.

A pretty girl can Kiss a guy* a bird can Kiss a butterfly* the rising sun can Kiss the grass* but bạn my friend!! yes you!! bạn CAN Kiss MY ASS*******

If bạn didn't have feet bạn wouldn't wear shoes.....then why do bạn wear a bra??!

mirrors don't talk but lucky for bạn %n they don't laugh

Poof be gone, your breath is too strong, I...

428

44 Ways to Make a Girl Happy- Guys point of View

posted by milorox18

44 Ways to Make a Girl Happy

Ladies, this will make bạn tear up :)
 Fellas, read all of it:)

1-Touch her waist. 
2-Talk to her. 
3-Share secrets. 
4-Give her your jacket.
 5-Kiss her slowly.

Are bạn remembering this?

6-Hug her. 
7-Hold her. 
8-Laugh with her. 
9-Invite her somewhere. 
10-Let her be with bạn when you're with your friends.

Keep reading...

11-Smile with her. 
12-Take pics with her. 
13-Pull her onto your lap. 
14-When she says she loves bạn more, deny it. fight back. 
15-When her Những người bạn say i tình yêu her thêm than you, deny it; fight back and hug her tight so she can't get...

347

41 ways to annoy your parents

posted by chowjoyi

41 ways to annoy your parents

1. Follow them everywhere.

2. When they say your name, moo loudly like a cow.

3. If bạn have a dog, follow the dog around on all-fours and say "Bark." over and over again really loudly.

4. Talk to a pen constantly.

5. When your Những người bạn come over, pretend to be talking in code and have your friend say 'Your-a pa smells-a like a woman-a." If they crack the code, play stupid.

6. Have a dozen of imaginary Những người bạn that bạn ask their opinion of everything.

7. After bạn have your bath, bọc a bath towel around bạn and then walk outside of the bathroom. When your parents ask...

9

100 THINGS GOING THROUGH A CRAZY PERSON'S HEAD

posted by PsychadelicSkye

1.Do not introduce self as roleplaying character in public.
2.Do not talk to fictional characters in public.
3.Do not answer fictional characters in public.
4.Do not talk to inanimate objects in public.
5.Do not go out in public.
6.Disregard above note.Perform numbers 1 to 4.
7.Note expressions.
8.Don't die alone. Take many people with you.
9.Floor is slippery when wet.
10.Lake is slippery when dry.
11.Only talk to strangers bạn know.
12.Strangers bạn don't know are spies... Kill them all.
13.For legal purposes be sure to xóa above note.
14.Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.
15.Kill...

52

42 Things that will make your parents go crazy

posted by ilovepenguins

42 Things That Will Make Your Parents Go Crazy.

1. Follow them around the house everywhere...

2. Moo when they say your name...

3. Run into walls...

4. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion...

5. Stand over them at four in the morning with a huge grin on your face and say, good morning sunshine...

6. Pluck someone's hair out and yell, "DNA"...

7. Wear a sticker that says, "I'm a retard"...

8. Have 20 imaginary Những người bạn that bạn talk to all the time...

9. In public yell, "No Mom/Dad, I will not make out with you!!"...

10. Do what they actually tell you...

11. Jump off the roof, trying...

6

25 Fun things to do in public

posted by Bubblekat

1. Go around stores, pick up items and yell out really loudly "Who buys this CRAP anyway?!"

2. Get a cart, get on the bar below the bar bạn grip, and push it down the isle, extra points for running into something hoặc someone

3. Go up to a ngẫu nhiên person and say "you have pretty eyes, may I have your eyes?!" and hear to see what they say

4. Laugh randomly

5. If someones talking on a cellphone Go closer to them and start maki ngẫu nhiên noises to disturb them, extra points if they hang up

6. If your near a đài phun nước run to it and start splashing in it

7. If your mom starts nagging to bạn in public about the...

2

24 ways on how to be a girl pervert

posted by I-Luv-L

I'm a girl pervert!I say guys are crazy cuz they think I touch their butts!I blame it on their hormones even though I touched their butts alot!

1.Be a real pervert

2.You don't have to look like one but just act like one

3.Always when you're walking behind a guy always look at their butt!And say"say veiw" then touch it nice and gently! :)

4.They look back and ask bạn say'what?no way especially not your flat ass!!!!"when they turn around find another butt to look at!

5.Look at their muscles when they're wearing áo sơ mi sleeve shirts and they're doing heavy lifting

6.Take pictures as well

7.Always comment...

3

hàng đầu, đầu trang 59 Jewish Ghetto names

posted by fencingrocks

No, I'm not racist I just found it on youtube.

If bạn want to check it out link

59. Goldstein
58. Burgenblatt
57. Burgenstein
56. Birumbaum
55. Farbstein
54. Grepslach
53. Steinbergavinski
52. Schnitzler
51. Pupikatvitz
50. Schnitzelmacher
49. Schpoilgekatz
48. Manashevitz
47. Platzenfinkle
46. Yankelovitz
45.Shteinshtein
44. Oyvayski
43. Shmoigerberg
42. Choppedleiberman
41.Zilbershpitzanhimelfarbenfleishebien
40.Gefiltafarb
39. Gefiltashlep
38. B'Bergberg
37. Yidihevitz
36. Synagogavitz
35. Parkenfien
34. LOL they forgot this one... :D
33. Kinkenberg
32. Menachemchem
31. Rechtum
30. Along with this one
29. Docotrlawyerstein...

39

A Funny Text Message !!!

posted by Shelly_McShelly

my friend sent me this text message a while cách đây and i thought it was hilarious!!!

i need to ask bạn somethingand i want bạn to be totally honest with me. it may be awkward between us after this but i have to kow how bạn feel... I've kept it in for a while now but now it's time to be straight up and just confront you. i hope this doesn't ruin anything we have, i just need to know and i dont see any other way i could get over this. it just doesn't seem fair if i dont gett an answer. i want bạn to tell me truthfully, please no matter how harsh it is. i just want your hoest opinion...

Pepsi hoặc Coke?

Ha ha ha ha !!!
Funny.

6

New Zodiac Dates!

added by xxXsk8trXxx

15

ngẫu nhiên things to say when Những người bạn are around

posted by Blitzy_Utonium

1.I like pie

2.Blue isn't blue until blue turns blue and when blue turns blue it's possibly blue and when blue turns blue, blue is orange.

3.My cat can fly. I taught him to the other day.

4.Dog thực phẩm is a beautiful thing to watch when bạn are eating!

5.BLACK HEAD!!!!!!!!

6.Butterfly fly away, because I'm your biggest fan, and I got a feeling that you'll shine on like the Moonstone high at the end of time.

7.Heeeeeeeloo!

8. My name is Cow. I like purple. My name is purple. I like cows. In the end, the odds come together and we get out alive.

9. I'M IN HELL WHENEVER I'M AROUND POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!

10. Fartblossom!

11.Pip-pip cheerio! (In and English accent.)

12. Your face is disorted when bạn sleeeeeep.

13. Bye đã đưa ý kiến Santa while eating Blitzen.

8

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added by XxKeithHarkinxX

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