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posted by iluvsmj
"I'm hungry." = I'm hungry.

"I'm sleepy." = I'm sleepy.

"I'm tired." = I'm tired.

"Do bạn want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

"Can I take bạn out to dinner?" = Same as Above

"Can I call bạn sometime?" = Same as Above

"Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!

"You look tense, let me give bạn a massage." = I want to feel your bare skin

"What's wrong?" = I don't see why bạn are making such a big deal out of this.

"What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are bạn going through now?

"I tình yêu you, too." = Okay, I đã đưa ý kiến it...we'd better have sex now!

"Yes, I...
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this is something that was in the news box on yahoo.



New term: mom-zilla. We know all about temporary bridal insanity, and the underreported groom version, but in some families, it’s the parents who are seized bởi irrational wedding meltdowns.

Last month, 60-year-old British florist and total mom-zilla, Carolyn Bourne attacked. After her stepson’s bride-to-be, Heidi Withers, was a guest in her house she had a thing hoặc two to teach her before she entered the Bourne family.

So Bourne sent the 29-year-old a soul-crushing email. The subject line: “Your lack of manners.” The bullet points...
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1.You abuse our tình yêu bạn lose it.
2.When we find the right guy we tình yêu him and NEVER want to lose him.
3.Our tình yêu is a privlige NOT a right.
4.Our hearts are delicate items, so when we do give them to the guy we tình yêu be careful with it.
5.Drinking will NOT impress us in any way shape hoặc form.
6.Guys bạn should respect our feelings.
7.In our relationship with bạn (the guy) We have dominance to.
8.We're as good at listening as we are at talking.
9.When it comes to the guy we truly tình yêu we will devote A LOT of our time to only you.
10.When bạn (the guy we love) break our hearts, you've pretty much killed us until we heal.
Just đọc some of the Kẻ hủy diệt trích dẫn through again... and actually found a hint on what happened between Arnold and the maid. Enjoy my version!


Maid: Nice night for a walk, eh?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nice night for a walk.
Maid #2: Wash ngày tomorrow? Nothing clean, right?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nothing clean. Right.
Maid: Hey, I think this guy's a couple cans short of a six-pack.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Your clothes... give them to me, now.
Maid: Fuck you, asshole!
Arnold nods.


I know there are a lot of people making fun of Arnold Schwarzenegger since he admitted to his wife that he's not only a cheater but a liar as well. bạn might get annoyed bởi it and think "Oh poor Arnie". But honestly? This guy just ASKED for it. It takes a big jerk to have a child with another woman, an even bigger one to keep it a secret for 14 years and the biggest one to only reveal it to his wife after he quit his job so there'd be no damage to his position.
posted by iamagagamonster
~ In my opinion! alright! bạn can think what ever bạn can think about the heros on here ~

5. Batman: The majority of people tình yêu batman, I go for Superman. Người dơi dosn't even have super powers he only has gadjets [spelling?] and gizmos. One ngày he's gona be in deep danger and then he won't be able to reach his "special" button. Without the help of his sidekick, which brings me to my tiếp theo hero

4. Robin: Robin is a superhero named after a migratory songbird that bạn can find in your backyard and feed bird seed to. Can someone tell me why they would name Batman’s sidekick after a songbird? What...
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How to Tell if a Guy likes You
How to Know that a Guy Likes You

Here are the 500 ways to tell if a guy likes You....

01. He smiles at bạn a lot.

02. He likes talking to you.

03. He compliments bạn a lot.

04. He always agrees with you.

05. He asks if bạn are single.

06. He asks bạn out for lunch.

07. He asks bạn out on a date.

08. He knows your zodiac sign.

09. He never burps around you.

10. He really cares about you.

11. He treats bạn like a lady.

12. He walks bạn to your door.

13. He wants to see bạn often.

14. He always wants to hug you.

15. He tells bạn he likes you.

16. His Những người bạn know...
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posted by sierradawn9
Ok, so I'm a redhead. I have freckles and light skin. So I'm considered ginger. Until a few weeks ago, I didn't even know what that term meant.
 I learned what it meant when I was on the bus and this guy took something from me. He đã đưa ý kiến he wouldn't give it back until I admitted I was a ginger. So I đã đưa ý kiến "I'm a ginger...?", and he yelled "You have no soooouuul!"
 That got me mad, sad, and confused.
 Seriously guys. Really? Just because some (and I do mean some) redheads have attitudes and act bitchy, that does NOT give bạn the right to make a stereotype out of the rest of us redheads.
 I'm not...
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10. When being pulled over bởi a cop and he hoặc she says, "Sir(/)Ma'am, bạn have been caught speeding, how much do bạn think bạn were going?" Don't say, "Well bạn must've gone AT LEAST 90 to catch up with me."

9. When your teacher asks where your homework is when bạn haven't handed it in don't say, "My dog ate my homework." That's the oldest excuse in the book. Plus, nobody ever buys it unless they are a complete moron hoặc born yesterday.

8. When your older sister is having her period hoặc PMS-ing don't say, "Hey sis, have bạn been putting on a little weight?" It's a chó cái, bitch slap waiting to happen.

7....
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posted by greenstergirl
1. I asked God for a bike. But I know God doesn't work that way. So I lấy trộm, đánh cắp a bike and asked for forgiveness.

2. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag bạn down and beat bạn with experience.

3. Going to church doesn't make bạn Christian even thêm then standing in a nhà để xe makes bạn a car.

4. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. Its still on the danh sách though.

5. war does not determine who is right- only who is left.

6. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, please notify....." I put DOCTOR.

7.Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at trang chủ even if...
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posted by JoannaVonDoom
Im sorry if this has been đã đăng before
If not, do not give me credit


1. Sing the Người dơi theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with Những người bạn in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If bạn have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours bởi hooking a máy quay, máy quay phim to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat...
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Intro :

yea mmhm i know these have been đã đăng alot but i am both insane and depressed and i can help depending on your personality hoặc sumthin like tht. But anyways, just read on. I hope bạn like!!! This was written bởi me! Not taken off anyone else. Thanks for your time đọc my into ;) ~~ XxemolovexX (prefer not to say my real name)

How to cure boredom :


If you're an artist :
Draw! drawing will always help bạn feel better. And who knows, over time bạn might be able to draw amazingly.

If you're an tác giả :
Free write! Its always fun to. Write something according to your taste in books.

If bạn love...
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INT. A SHOPPING MALL WE'VE USED BEFORE - DAY.

The mall. Teenage girls bury their heads in piles of clothes and giggle. A Sale Sign goes up and they scream. Mothers drag kids bởi their heels. As the people pass by, they glance uncomfortably at something off-screen then hurry along. The children point, faces uncomprehending.

Pan over to find ZIM and GIR in a dark corner, near a waste receptacle, dressed as clowns. ZIM just stares out evilly at the passing people. GIR simply stares, holding balloons.

ZIM (to GIR)
Look at them, GIR. THEY think we are clowns. But we are not clowns.

GIR gasps in shock....
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posted by rayban00
This link is made of very simple,The lens is dark yellow, the color is predominant. And retro-style frame has a bright spot in the whole spectacle. General wear this retro style link, thêm hoặc less a link with the United States. If bạn look carefully, there is a small screw, so rayban sunglasses thêm firmly. cá đuối, ray Ban prices affordable, cheap.

It seems that Hollywood stars are always so charming?, They not only well dressed but never appear without makeup hoặc sweat the makeup to stains.All dressed themseves perfect even without the light.

Cheap rayban Sunglasses are their common decration,because...
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posted by TVD_rocks
from the internet :)

(1) Tell him that he looked better bald.
(2) Put purple dye in his shampoo.
(3) When he goes to get his hair trimed, tell the barber that he would get 100 dollars to cut all his hair off.
(4) Ask what it was like to have Ke$ha babysit him.
(5) Tell him he reminds bạn of the Ken doll.
(6) Ask if Selena is his búp bê barbie girl.
(7) Change his ringtone to 'Whip my Hair'.
(8) Call him while he's doing a talk show.
(9) Ask why he keeps making songs about relationships.
(10) Ask if he wants to dump Selena because he keeps making those songs.
(11) Give his fangirls his trang chủ adress
(12) Finally, ask why he goes for older women instead of 16-year olds. When he các câu trả lời he thinks they're cute tell him that your telling Selena that she's too young for him
posted by TeamSongz4eva
**again i got this from the internet**


These are from by-gone days when we actually had little computer machines that would answer the telephone for us. They were called "answering machines," intuitively enough. Roughly akin to voice mail today, but when they came out, they were quite novel. Thus, the were the nguồn of much amusement.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"If bạn are a burglar, then we're probably at trang chủ cleaning our weapons
right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home
and it's an toàn, két an toàn to leave us a message."...
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posted by EllentheStrange
I am anti emo,because I don't the idea of them

mutilating themselves for no reason.I mean

sure,you have bullies at school and your mom

hates you,but I have those same problems.But I

don't cut,or dink,or do drugs.Emo Kids are just

pissing their life away cutting and killing

themselves over their little problems.You live in

a small town,nobody feels sorry for you.get a

haircut.There's no point to get

yourself.Everybody has problems.Deal with

them,but don't cut.Write hoặc draw.Listen to music.

Do something else besides cut.And the posers are

even worst so I dislike them even more.They think

it will...
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1.Make race car noises when anyone gets on hoặc off.

2.Blow your nose and offer to hiển thị the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.

3.Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: Shut up, dammit, all of bạn just shut UP!

4.Whistle the first seven notes of It's a Small World incessantly.

5.Sell Girl Scout cookies.

6.On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.

7.Shave.

8.Crack open your cặp, vali, cặp tài liệu hoặc purse, and while peering inside ask: Got enough air in there?

9.Offer name tag to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.

10.Stand silent...
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Hello! Gabriella here. :D I will tell bạn all these: What dates & Why bạn don't want your birthday on these days.

1- New Year's ngày
You don't know what your celebrating. Your birthday hoặc the new year.

2-Groundhog's Day
I think this is an American thing but, bạn know how if bạn see the shadow, this happens, if not, that happens? Yeah, why bạn ask? Groundhog. People complaining about the outcome.
2-Valentine's Day
Your loved a bit too much.
2-Leap Year
This day, only comes, once every four years. Why would bạn want to celebrate it today?

4-April Fool's Day
You get pranked on your own birthday. What...
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posted by snusnu13
It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon. The light breeze was making the leaves of the trees rustle lightly and the birds were chirping their afternoon songs. In a small yard there lay a dog on the soft, green grass. This dog was brown and white patched, and had light green eyes. She had no ears, as they were cut off when she was a puppy, but her ear canal remained, so she could still hear.

As the dog chewed on her bone, a teenage girl stepped into the backyard. The dog looked up and saw her 14 năm old owner, Sally. Sally had tanned skin, with dark brown hair tied into a ponytail, a triangular...
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1. bạn fall down the stairs.

2. A cây falls down on you.

3. A loài đà mã ở nam mỹ, llama spits in your face.

4. bạn eat i poisioned cookie.

5. A roccon with rabies jumps in your face and bites your face.

6. bạn are making out with a person and then bạn trow up in their mouth
.
7. A crystle light thing falls on your head.

8. Your cái gối, gối gets a face and bites bạn head off.

9. Your dog stands up and says I hate bạn and then runs away.

10. Your eating pankakes, their is a rotten egg in to, bạn get slmonila, go to the hospital, the doctors say that bạn are going to die, then bạn die.

11. When bạn are dieing your crush says that...
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