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Here are my danh sách of corny jokes. Now i'm just gonna let bạn know now i got alot of these from the Youtube channel, vlogbrothers. So check them out too. Prepare to laugh.
(Make sure your not drinking anything hoặc eating anything bạn might spit it hoặc something.)

#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.

#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)

#3 Why was the cây chổi, chổi late to work?
It overswept!

#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the vịnh, bay they'd be bagels.

#5 What's Michelle Obama's yêu thích vegetable?
Barackoli (broccoli)

#6 Why does the nấm have so many friends?
Because he's a fungi! (Fun guy)

#7 What do bạn call a fake noodle?
An impasta! (Imposter)

#8 How often do i make chemistry jokes?
Periodically.

#9 What do bạn call a pencil without lead?
Pointless!

#10 How do bạn make an octopus giggle ten times?
bạn give him ten-tickles (tenticles)

#11 How do bạn make lady gaga cry?
Poker face!

#12 What did Beethoven become when he died?
A decomposer!

#13 What's a chicken's yêu thích composer?
Bach!

#14 What did one eye say to the other eye?
"Between bạn and me man, something smells." (Your nose)

#15 What did the stamp say to the envelope?
"Stick with me man, we'll go places."

#16 What did the hat say to the hatrack?
"Stay here, I'll go on a-head."

#17 Why can't bạn hear a pteradactyl use the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent (the letter p in the name is silent)

#18 Why did the little boy eat his homework?
The teacher đã đưa ý kiến it was a piece of cake.

#19 Why did the cà chua blush?
It saw the rau xà lách, salad dressing.

#20 What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
"Ruff!" (Rough)

#21 Why did the man send his phone to school?
He wanted a smartphone (i came up with that one too :)

#22 How do crazy people go through a forest?
They take the psycho path.

#23 How do bạn know if it's raining mèo and dogs?
bạn step in a poodle (puddle)

#24 How do bạn know if a clock is wise?
It goes clockwise (i thought of that)

#25 How do bạn get Pikachu on a bus?
bạn Pokémon (pok 'em on)

#26 Why can't bạn dress with Pikachu in the room?
He'll Pikachu (peek at you)

#27 What do bạn call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese (so old right?)

#28 How do get holy water?
bạn boil the hell out of it!

#29 What starts with "E" ends with "E" but only has one letter in it?
An envelope, duh xD

#30 Why didn't the skeleton vượt qua, cross the road?
He didn't have the guts to.

#31 What did the ghost say to scare the bees?
"BOOOOBEEES!" XD (please don't yell that if your parents are home)

#32 What does an angry pepper do?
It gets jalepeño face! (All up in yo face)

#33 What do bạn call an alligator in a vest?
An in- vest-igator investigator

#34 What's màu hồng, hồng and fluffy?
màu hồng, hồng fluff
#34.5 what's blue and fluffy? (Think about it)
màu hồng, hồng fluff holding it's breath.

#35 What happens when bạn drink 7 coca colas?
bạn burp 7up

#36 Why can't your nose ever be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot.

#37 why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle!

#38 Why was the police man in bed?
He was undercover.

#39 what did one light bulb say to another light bulb?
"Watts up?" (You know li,e the watts that are in a light bulb?)

#40 what did the cá say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"
LAST ONE!

#41 Why can't bạn trust lions?
They be lion to you! (Lying)

Alright so those are my corny jokes. Hope bạn liked them. Make sure bạn check out vlogbrothers they're really cool. Ciao! And rememeber...
 PewDiePie
PewDiePie
added by 3xZ
added by Rodz
Source: desktopnexus
added by Basant_pandit
Source: Basant pandit
added by Jet-Black
posted by TimberHumphrey
On a cobweb afternoon
In a room full of emptiness
By a freeway I confess
I was Mất tích in the pages
Of a book full of death
Reading how we'll die alone
And if we're good, we'll lay to rest
Anywhere we wanna go

In your house I long to be
Room bởi room patiently
I'll wait for bạn there
Like a stone
I'll wait for bạn there
Alone

On my deathbed I will pray
To the gods and the angels
Like a pagan to anyone
Who will take me to heaven
To a place I recall
I was there so long ago
The sky was bruised
The wine was bled
And there bạn led me on

In your house I long to be
Room bởi room patiently
I'll wait for bạn there
Like a stone
I'll...
continue reading...
added by Bisexualnerd22
I am so sick and tired of people not trying to understand another person's plight. I am so tired of people not having solidarity when many groups have gone through horrific things. This world is divided bởi many factors. Sexism,racism,homophobia,transphobia,classism and I can continue to go on and on. But whenever someone tells someone else who has not experienced đã đưa ý kiến issue. Sometimes the reaction is: "I don't believe you." "I haven't seen it so it doesn't happen" "All (insert any group that has received the short end of the stick on any occasion) are moronic and they don't realize what a great...
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Guys, I’m about to give a hot take for bạn all…. I do not care for PaRappa the Rapper on Playstation 1. Now I am fully aware that is a crime against humanity, but I do like aspects of it. I tình yêu the style of it for a PS1 game, I enjoy the character designs, and I think the âm nhạc is pretty funky. But a lot of my problems with the game are from the gameplay feeling pretty rough and unfair at times. There are many times where I am pretty sure I hit the button at the right time, and not only does it sound awkward coming out of PaRappa as delayed as it sounds, but the game still counts it as...
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added by MeiMisty
added by Mauserfan1910
Source: boob
 Not all boys are visceral, but all are elegant and considerative in some way. - Featured: cây ô rô, hoa huệ, holly Wood Leading Man, Junior Garett Hedlund
Not all boys are visceral, but all are elegant and considerative in some way. - Featured: Holly Wood Leading Man, Junior Garett Hedlund
1.Only select of us boys will ever be sculpted.

2.You can tình yêu any boy, as every boy can tình yêu reciprocally.

3.There is a range of us boys; some of us face life incarceration, some of us like Ludwig Wittgenstein went about Aerodynamic Engineering, then Philosophy.

4.Any boy can "'go religion" if his soul is a bit chipped hoặc broken.

5.We like girls that talk smooth, especially the girls who can tie if off with respect.

6.We will act like boys, if the circumstance requires us to only act as so.

7.We know that a relation between us will keep developing a relation.

8.We do not have our own house ready...
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added by KataraLover
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Song: link

Narrator: Sugar. Spice, and everything nice. These were the ingredients chosen to create the perfect little girls, but Professor Utonium accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction. Chemical X!
Professor: *Gets moved backwards bởi an explosion, but smiles when he sees what he created*
Narrator: Thus the Powerpuff Girls were born! Using their ultra super powers, Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup have dedicated their lives to fighting crime, and the forces of evil.
Blossom: *Flies through the sky*
Bubbles: *Flying to the right of Blossom*
Buttercup: *Flying to the left of...
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#1:
9/11 was a true tragedy for females. So many woman Mất tích there lives, and there husbands.. And who was responsible? MEN! Males destroyed the world trade centre cause deep down inside, they all have the mind set of barbarians. As a female, I’m glad our brains have developed to recognize good and evil.



#2:
Fuck ghost stories! I am a atheist! I don’t believe in your BS! God isn’t real! Ghosts aren’t real! None of it is real! I wish there was a God for people like this, so they can go to hell for constantly trying to push there agenda on me! I WILL NEVER BELIEVE! EVER! SO STOP!!



#3:
Another...
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posted by ShadowFan100
Lyrics

I'm a furry, I can do what I want
You're a furry, bạn can do what bạn want
We're all furries, we can do what we want
We can sing where we want
We can dance where we want

I'm a furry, I can do what I want
You're a furry, bạn can do what bạn want
We're all furries, we can do what we want
We can hang where we want
Have fun where we want

People in fursuits everywhere
Paws in the air, like we don't care
'Cuz we came to have so much fun now
Got our fursuits on and we gonna furry it out

If you're not ready to go home
Can I get a "Hell no"?
'Cuz we're gonna furry all night
'Till we see the sunlight, alright

So,...
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This danh sách is about the characters from Johnny Depp's Alice in Wonderland films. The 2010 and 2016 Alice films have various enjoyable characters. Everybody on the danh sách except for the hàng đầu, đầu trang 2 is in alphabetical order. I hope bạn enjoy the danh sách and feel free to mention your yêu thích characters from the 2010 and 2016 Alice films.

Cheshire Cat

The Cheshire Cat was briefly a rival of the Hatter, but the Cheshire Cat turned out to be a useful and amusing character. Also he has a nice voice.

Dormouse

In trước đó versions of Alice in Wonderland the Dormouse was a sleepy guy, but the Dormouse is a heroic...
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#1: LIAM NEESON:
I know.. Liam is a cliche, he's tired of it.
He's always saving people in a very similar formula.
But.. He's still LIAM NEESON.
This guy can read a book too children, and it would be the coolest sight ever..

#2: MARK WAHLBERG:
The Happening.. Oh the Happening.. bạn really must of been fucking AWFUL if your able too get a bad performance out of Marky-Mark Wahlberg..
I actually like him thêm in phim chiếu rạp like TED.. Mark has a certain charm that he brings into the performance..
But hey, watch SHOOTER and LONG SURVIVER to see him kicking ass*. He doesn't really have any real TypeCast.....
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Here it is! The first episode of rùa, con rùa Sandwich! Hope bạn enjoy viewing this as much as I enjoyed making it! It might not be as good as bạn were hoping, so feel free to provide criticism if bạn think it would improve the series.

And don't forget to leave suggestions in the comments! :)
added by 0YouCanFly0
Haaaaaiii.
So today we're talking about the little girls hiển thị that everyone loves. Even fat guys that eat nachos! Can I be your friend, fat guy?
ANYWAYZ, the fat guys call themselves brownies. I don't know why, cuz brownies are little Sô cô la sqaures that don't even watch little girl shows. But that's what they call themselves.
Well, not all of them are fat guys. Some are really hot guys and some are cute girls.
And anyway, it's about Twilight Fartle and her friends, Appleshit, Pinkie Piss, Flutter-oh-my, cầu vồng chó cái, bitch and Rari-pee. They go on adventures and puke on Princess Barf-estia.