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1.    “I came all the way to school before I realized I still had my pyjamas on, and had to go trang chủ and change”

2.    “When I got here my teacher wasn’t in the classroom so I went out looking for him/her”

3.    “I was abducted bởi aliens for experimental purposes. I have been gone for 50 years, but fortunately in Earth time it was only (insert how late bạn are here)”

4.    “I invented a time machine that took me phía trước, chuyển tiếp to my exam results. I saw that I got straight A’s, so I thought I might as well take things easy from now on.”

5.    “I squeezed the toothpaste too hard, and spent all morning getting it back in the tube.”

6.    “My parents Mất tích the keys to my cage.”

7.    “I was helping Little Bo Peep find her sheep.”

8.    “I’m afraid I can’t tell bạn why I’m late. The government has sworn me to secrecy.”

9.    “I’m not late… everyone else is early.”

10.    "The bartender wouldn't let me leave."

11.     “It takes a lot of time to dump a body”

12.    “I wasn't late, I was just early for tomorrow.”

13.    I wasn`t late. I just failed to be on time.

14.    I didn`t want to seem to eager.

15.    "Could bạn please repeat the question?" (repeat when they ask bạn again)

16.    " The yellow sign painted on the road outside the school đã đưa ý kiến 'CHILDREN SLOW', so rushing wasnt an option!! "

17.    "had a meeting with the Pope."(doesn’t work on Pope.)

18.    “I was trying to find bạn a gift, (insert teachers name here)”

19.    "I feel like I'm in everyone's way if I hiển thị up on time."
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Source: Sweet nhiếp ảnh người hâm mộ art bởi me - KanonKyu
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posted by McDreamyluva
Here's the famous 'Best Divorce Letter' bởi Dan to Connie, pretty hilarious, definitely a must read! xD



Dear Connie,

I know the counselor đã đưa ý kiến we shouldn't contact each other during our "cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore.

The ngày bạn left, I swore I'd never talk to bạn again but that was just the wounded little boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first on to make contact. In my fantasies, it was always bạn who would come crawling back to me. I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride’s cost me a lot of things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you....
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