Check out this infected canker sore in my mouth!
I work for the IRS.
Have bạn ever tried cat meat?
I don't know why I ate it - liver and onions always gives me gas.
I just had a proctological exam - wow, worth every penny!
The last time my head rang like this I woke up with a dead man tiếp theo to me!
I puked on the last person who flew tiếp theo to me.
My butt reeeally itches!
Would bạn look at the size of the hair I just yanked out of my nose!
My psychiatrist says that flying helps offset my desire to mutilate small, defenseless, woodland creatures.
The last guy who ignored me is still on a respirator.
Would bạn hold this messy kleenex for me?
Wanna see my tonsils? I keep them in a jar.
I haven't changed my underwear in over two weeks! How about you?
The doctors say that my eighth personality is the least dangerous.
Wow, look at that little boy in the third row!
Can bạn believe they only gave me three years for killing my own sister?!
Hey, does your urine ever turn blue?
I get a proctological exam once a week, whether I need it hoặc not!
This cramped fuselage reminds me of solitary.
Oh damn, my diaper's wet again!
If I go unconscious just stick your finger down my throat - that'll wake me up.
Wanna buy a gerbil?
Boy, that business at Waco was a mess - I got outa there right behind the Savior David!
Ya know, since I moved to West Hollywood my gerbil business has really taken off.
Wow, they could charge for that cavity tìm kiếm they gave me at the border!
I've just been treated for tapeworms.
Don Knotts is my yêu thích actor!
I work for the city of San Gabriel and I drive a garbage truck.
The pilot and I were in the same drug rehab clinic - he was doing much better when I left a couple days ago.
Did I tell bạn Charles Manson's my uncle?
I collect aluminum foil.
Ya know, these days a man can't hang out with a seven năm old boy without being ridiculed bởi his peers!
I work in a landfill.
I remember, not too long ago, when a man could work hard clubbing baby seals all ngày long and then go trang chủ and have a tall, cold one with a clear conscience.
I have every album the Bee Gees ever recorded!
I work on a Japanese whaling ship.
We're planning on leaving our bodies and meeting with the mother ship tiếp theo Tuesday - wanna come?
I work for the IRS.
Have bạn ever tried cat meat?
I don't know why I ate it - liver and onions always gives me gas.
I just had a proctological exam - wow, worth every penny!
The last time my head rang like this I woke up with a dead man tiếp theo to me!
I puked on the last person who flew tiếp theo to me.
My butt reeeally itches!
Would bạn look at the size of the hair I just yanked out of my nose!
My psychiatrist says that flying helps offset my desire to mutilate small, defenseless, woodland creatures.
The last guy who ignored me is still on a respirator.
Would bạn hold this messy kleenex for me?
Wanna see my tonsils? I keep them in a jar.
I haven't changed my underwear in over two weeks! How about you?
The doctors say that my eighth personality is the least dangerous.
Wow, look at that little boy in the third row!
Can bạn believe they only gave me three years for killing my own sister?!
Hey, does your urine ever turn blue?
I get a proctological exam once a week, whether I need it hoặc not!
This cramped fuselage reminds me of solitary.
Oh damn, my diaper's wet again!
If I go unconscious just stick your finger down my throat - that'll wake me up.
Wanna buy a gerbil?
Boy, that business at Waco was a mess - I got outa there right behind the Savior David!
Ya know, since I moved to West Hollywood my gerbil business has really taken off.
Wow, they could charge for that cavity tìm kiếm they gave me at the border!
I've just been treated for tapeworms.
Don Knotts is my yêu thích actor!
I work for the city of San Gabriel and I drive a garbage truck.
The pilot and I were in the same drug rehab clinic - he was doing much better when I left a couple days ago.
Did I tell bạn Charles Manson's my uncle?
I collect aluminum foil.
Ya know, these days a man can't hang out with a seven năm old boy without being ridiculed bởi his peers!
I work in a landfill.
I remember, not too long ago, when a man could work hard clubbing baby seals all ngày long and then go trang chủ and have a tall, cold one with a clear conscience.
I have every album the Bee Gees ever recorded!
I work on a Japanese whaling ship.
We're planning on leaving our bodies and meeting with the mother ship tiếp theo Tuesday - wanna come?
1. Run up a down escalator naked
2. Walk into the middle of 2 gangs about to fight and sing michael jacksons beat it
3. Fart really loudly in a crowded elevator
4. Walk into a biker bar and sing Mocho Man hoặc YMCA
5. cú đấm someone in the face for no reason
6. Drive through detroit with rucka rucka ali's 'Detroit' Blaring through a speaker on hàng đầu, đầu trang of my car
7. Do the tour de france on a motorbike and cú đấm all the cyclers
8. rugby tackle someone of a tall building
9. BIG STRANGER RODEO!!!!!!!
10. Steal a doctors stepha-thingy and pretend to examine him
11. Walk into a church dressed as Jesus hoặc Chuck Norris and shout "i am the lord god"
2. Walk into the middle of 2 gangs about to fight and sing michael jacksons beat it
3. Fart really loudly in a crowded elevator
4. Walk into a biker bar and sing Mocho Man hoặc YMCA
5. cú đấm someone in the face for no reason
6. Drive through detroit with rucka rucka ali's 'Detroit' Blaring through a speaker on hàng đầu, đầu trang of my car
7. Do the tour de france on a motorbike and cú đấm all the cyclers
8. rugby tackle someone of a tall building
9. BIG STRANGER RODEO!!!!!!!
10. Steal a doctors stepha-thingy and pretend to examine him
11. Walk into a church dressed as Jesus hoặc Chuck Norris and shout "i am the lord god"
1. Walk up to a ngẫu nhiên person, grab both their shoulders, look into their eyes and say, "I feel bad for you, son."
2. Walk up to a ngẫu nhiên person, then point to another person and whisper loud enough for the person bạn are pointing at to hear, "That guy seriously has issues for him to work out."
3. Walk up to a ngẫu nhiên person the same gender as bạn and say, "Yes! I like your movements!" hoặc "You're as tight as fuck!" Especially if it's an adult with little children.
4. In a place where there are a lot of people, point to a ngẫu nhiên man's dick and yell out, "There's a raccoon! Natures ninjas! Oh shiiittt!"
5. Just walk up to a person don't even know and say, "You again!? Meh, it's your life."
2. Walk up to a ngẫu nhiên person, then point to another person and whisper loud enough for the person bạn are pointing at to hear, "That guy seriously has issues for him to work out."
3. Walk up to a ngẫu nhiên person the same gender as bạn and say, "Yes! I like your movements!" hoặc "You're as tight as fuck!" Especially if it's an adult with little children.
4. In a place where there are a lot of people, point to a ngẫu nhiên man's dick and yell out, "There's a raccoon! Natures ninjas! Oh shiiittt!"
5. Just walk up to a person don't even know and say, "You again!? Meh, it's your life."
11. Take him to Victoria's Secret with Alice.
1. Everytime bạn read Twilight, a kitten is born :D
2. If bạn are obbsessed with mythical creatures, read Twilight!
3. If your life is all sad and gloomy, read Twilight!
4. If your completely bored, why not read Twilight!
5. ITS JUST AWESOME!!!!!! well to me and all the other Twilighters out there :D
PLEASE NO BAD COMMENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. If bạn are obbsessed with mythical creatures, read Twilight!
3. If your life is all sad and gloomy, read Twilight!
4. If your completely bored, why not read Twilight!
5. ITS JUST AWESOME!!!!!! well to me and all the other Twilighters out there :D
PLEASE NO BAD COMMENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just plaln annoying!!
