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1) Fetch it yourself jerkwad! bạn threw it, why should I have to go and get it?
2) Fetch this!
3) (after licking himself) "ha ha! bạn only wish bạn could do that!"
4) "That whole, 'Blame your farts on me,' thing is SO not funny."
5) Bacon, Bacon, I smell Bacon, Only one thing smells like thịt ba rọi, thịt xông khói and it's BACON!
6) One of these days... I'll catch that $%#& Squirel
7) Who's the b*tch now?
8) What is the air-speed velocity of an unlden swallow?
9) Hey, zipperhead, clean my water dish and I won't drink from the toilet.
10) Why dont bạn fetch your own newspaper!?
11) Dude, that Evil Lawn Gnome is creeping me out.
12) Let me tell bạn the secret to licking your own balls...
13) Gotta catch the tail... Gotta catch the tail... Gotta--
14) Ooh. I don't feel well. Barf... xin chào look, thêm food!
15) Ohboy Ohboy A ball Throw me the ball C'mon throw me the ball
16) Frankly, grandma's breathe is worse than mine
17) I know it all Joe.Now I can tell your wife,or bạn can get me kibbles and bits.
18) Gimme some food, foo!
19) Please let me out BEFORE bạn change
20) Pushin' the rock Pushin' the rock Pushin' the rock
21) Why is it that I get stuck with kibble and bạn get steak?
22) Yeah. I can lick it. Jealous aren't you?
23) Mind if I use your couch?
24) So what if l lick my own balls? Try it, bạn might like it.
25) Yeah, I know it's just your leg, but I still don't care.
26) I don't care what the commercial says. IAMs cún yêu, con chó con chow taste like puke!
27) Oh, I'll keep my silence-- for a price. How well do *you* beg, 'master'?
28) Would someone pry this 4 năm old away from me for heaven's sake!?
29) Why don't bạn ever lick your balls?
30) xin chào Baby, Mind if I hump your leg?
31) I dont care how cute it is. No one's giving me a poodle haircut!
32) ****!!!
33) Drop Bush, not bombs!
34) Get your a** up and let me out
35) bạn cut my balls off, I'm going to kill you
36) bow wow wow yippy yo yippy yay
37) I told bạn to sell that Enron stock.
38) get a cat i dare you
39) I'm peeing ,,,can't I have some privacy
40) "Wear Corduroy pants so I can get better traction"
41) uhh... like, woof and stuff
42) It's not cheating if both the legs are on the same person.
43) Gimme some of them 'tater chips
44) To be, hoặc not to be.. That is the question.
45) I'll have one of what he's drinking
46) "F*** You! I'm leaving!"
47) Get away from my a*s.
48) Please don't sic your cat on me again!
49) Your knees smell.
50) This water's good, but nothing beats good ol' toilet water.
51) oh my god, the soap! it burns!!
52) Sorry, your leg mùi, nấu chảy ra just like Fifi tiếp theo door
53) dude, where's the phat blunt?
54) Get me a biscuit, *****.
55) can i please sit at the bàn i promise i wont bite
posted by Jekyde
The following is a police tape of an interview with the only witness to a murder in the Aloceras Ravine.

Officer Howard:Alright, Bobby. Glad to see you're here.

Bobby:Am I gonna get arrested?

Officer Howard:No, Bobby. Just tell us what bạn saw.

Bobby:Oh...where do I start?

Officer Howard:Just tell us how he died.

Bobby:Okay, so....I was standing about 15 feet behind Mervin...and...I saw these two weird lights to the left of him. I tried to warn him, but...he couldn't hear me.

Officer Howard:What did these lights look like?

Bobby:Well...they were both exactly the same...lavender and circle-shaped,...
continue reading...
posted by ShiningsTar542
Today is the perfect ngày to make a danh sách of your resolutions for 2011!

There are some resolutions that are impossible to fulfill, but that we all make anyhow,For example:

1. Study every day.
2. Behave better at home.
3. Don't wait to do homework at the last minute.
4. Exercise once a week.
5. Don't talk in class.
6. Don't make fun of others.
7. Save money and don't make impulse buys.
8. Tell the boy bạn like "hello".
9. Don't get upset when someone confronts bạn hoặc tells bạn you're wrong.
10. Make a schedule for yourself and stick to it!

Which of these are on your list? Which do bạn think bạn can actually do for a whole year?
posted by carsfan
A Mayan calendar has been found that projects dates 7,000 years into the future!

Fear not, people irrationally afraid of what tomorrow might bring. Archaeologists have found a 9th century Mayan calendar in the Guatemalan complex of Xultun. The calendar is 600 years older than the other ones found elsewhere and it projects about 7000 years into the future. December 21st, 2012 is not mentioned as a special ngày in any way shape hoặc form.

So now bạn know… if bạn fear what might happen tomorrow, don't. The Mayan Apocalypse is nothing thêm than an Internet meme that we'll laugh about like we do about Y2K now.
posted by numnumyellow67
Chapter 1
The District

I quietly and quickly pick the katniss plant's roots. Have to hurry home, hoặc at least the ruined building I call my home. Living a destroyed old district, bạn kind of get used to the idea of having to hurry back to ruined buildings, before the rats and bugs decide to settle into your so called home.I start on my way back, when I see a plump rabbit, just watching me desperately pick the roots, while coated in mud. This annoys me, and with one nhanh, swift movement, I dao, con dao the fat fool from afar. A direct hit. Perfect. I've been working on my dao, con dao throwing skills, and got a lucky...
continue reading...
posted by kowalskipperico
    Pronunciation 
Éõrìã Màlîñìà (E-you-or-ee-a Mill-in-a) 
Mæræ Šîlętryę (Meer-ee Silly-tree-a)
Gõela Šçêlvælįçæ (Goo-Ella Skel-cleav-ee)
Ęrôlâ Ÿêmêrâńÿæń  (E-roll-a Yem- erany-ann)
Kätlÿã Klįñçé (Kate-leea Klince
Ærśhlèÿ Wèlśœń(Arsh-lee Well-so-en)
Æñæ Dœmêñ (An-ae Doe-men)
Cârâbęl (Cara-bell)
Mîdêllę
Ëlâšmâlgân Tœwn Pærk (Elis-mally-gan toe-ean pay-erk)
 Šêlvêš (Sell-ves)
Kàrlèèã (Care-lee-a)
                   One
                 ÈÕRÌÀ
Èòrìã Màlîñàì skipped down the cobblestone đường phố, street humming...
continue reading...
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