Sloth

'Do bạn ever get off the couch, sir?
Do bạn ever get off the đi văng and stop watching TV?
Do bạn ever go for a run?
Do bạn ever simply walk around hoặc exercise outside?
Do bạn just play video games all day, sir?
Do bạn even do any work?
Man, bạn are lazy! '

I would not be surprised if someone
đã đưa ý kiến this to you, my friend,
For I am the cause of it all.
I am one of the Deadly Sins,
As bạn humans call me,
For I am what makes people a lazy bum.

I am a daemon from the pits of hell,
As are all my other brothers,
But I must say,
That I am not a sin,
But rather a human instinct.
And it amuses me to see bạn sit around on the couch,
Getting fatter,
And fatter,
And much unhealthier,
With gaining LDL,
Which your doctors call 'bad cholesterol, '
And with bạn sleeping all the time,
bạn just make people angry because bạn will not
Get up and help.

bạn see, good sir,
I am the reason
bạn may have dropped out of high school,
Since bạn were too lazy
To do your homework
And would have rather hit the booze
hoặc have done drugs with your buddies instead.

I am the reason bạn may have been
Taken off the Varsity team,
Because bạn were either too lazy to exercise
And contribute to the sports team,
hoặc bạn may have been too lazy in school,
And decided to get all F's in school.

I am the reason bạn may not have graduated,
For bạn took school less seriously than others,
And bạn did not do your homework,
And bạn had to take your freshman courses
Over and over again
Just because bạn failed them;
Yet bạn could not complete your required classes
In your four years
And the No Child Left Behind Act
Took bạn out of school,
Without letting bạn get your diploma.

bạn blew off school like it was nonsense,
And I laugh at your stupidity,
For bạn struggle to get your GED to this day.

I am the reason bạn may have dropped out of college,
For bạn thought college was too much work,
And decided to blow off the work
And to party all the time,
Getting hangovers every morning,
And failing your classes the tiếp theo day.
bạn gave up to studying,
And gave in to me,
Which makes bạn fail intensively.

I am the reason bạn did not earn your major,
For bạn partied too much,
And bạn felt studying was too much work,
And now I am amused to see that your life
Is a wreck
With bạn living in a trailer park
Lying on your couch,
Watching your antennae TV
With Dish Network as your supplier,
And bạn unable to hold a job.

I am the reason bạn may have Mất tích your job,
For bạn slacked off too much,
And played games on your computer
Instead of filing reports
hoặc programming the computer system
That your boss asked bạn to do.
bạn would rather play Sudoku
hoặc check your email
Than do what your boss asks bạn to do.
bạn would sleep all the time,
And play Starcraft on your laptop,
And play a little bit of WOW
And Skyrim
Instead of contacting your associates
Internationally.
bạn made your boss angry,
And he finally had the last straw,
So he decided to ngọn lửa, chữa cháy you,
And now bạn have no job,
And your life is ruined,
For bạn cannot find any employment.
It amuses me to see bạn in this way,
As miserable as bạn are.

I am also the reason why your marriage crashed,
For whenever bạn came home,
bạn would rather lie on the couch
And sleep
Than help your wife with the household chores
hoặc making dinner
hoặc helping take care of the kids.
I made bạn irresponsible,
Making bạn unreliable with money,
Untrustworthy in your actions,
Lacking in truth-telling,
And making your work ethic horrible.
Your wife cannot stand bạn anymore,
For bạn never help with anything,
And cannot ever keep your end of the deal.
bạn pitiful little thing,
bạn live your life in misery,
And all I can say is that it amuses me.

I am one of the Seven Deadly Sins,
And if your life has been clean of us,
bạn better be careful,
For I hoặc one of my brothers may very much
Taint your life,
And we take amusement in your torment.