You can't fire me i don't work in this van

:"I stopped shaving because my girlfriend broke up with me... am I in pain? Hell yeah... But I'll tell you something: I thrive in pain, I love pain, to me pain is not pain at all. No... it is pure pleasure, and I hate pleasure... almost as much as I love pain. So yeah... I'm in pain..."

Michael: "Why are you the way that you are? Honestly, every time I try to do something fun or exciting, you make it not... that way. I hate so much about the things that you choose to be."

Jim: "Pam, will you wait for me while I tie my shoe?"

jim "wait, i'm serious. it's happening! and when it happens, it is gonna kick your ass, beesly."
:)