Q .. Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
A .. To see what was on the other side.
Q .. Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A .. Because on the box it đã đưa ý kiến From 2-4 years.
Q .. Why did the blonde call the welfare office?
A .. She wanted to know how to cook thực phẩm stamps!
A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One ngày the husband comes trang chủ from work and his wife says, "Honey, bạn know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could bạn fix it?" The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?" A few days go by, and he comes trang chủ from work and his wife says, "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could bạn change it for me?" He says: "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?" Another few days go by, and it's raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can bạn please fix it?" He says, "What do I look like, Bob Vila?" The tiếp theo ngày the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened. "Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them," she says. "Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls. Wife says: "Nothing. He đã đưa ý kiến he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake hoặc slept with him." "Uh, well, what kind of cake did bạn make?" asks the husband. "What do I look like," she says, "Betty Crocker?"
A young boy enters a barber cửa hàng and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do bạn want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” đã đưa ý kiến the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask bạn a question? Why did bạn take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the ngày I take the dollar, the game is over!”
A guy enters a bar carrying an alligator. Says to the patrons, "Here’s a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. The gator will close his mouth for one minute, then open it, and I'll remove my unit unscathed. If it works, everyone buys me drinks." The crowd agrees. The guy drops his pants and puts his privates in the gator's mouth. Gator closes mouth. After a minute, the guy grabs a bia bottle and bangs the gator on the hàng đầu, đầu trang of its head. The gator opens wide, and he removes his genitals unscathed. Everyone buys him drinks. Then he says: "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try." After a while, a hand goes up in the back of the bar. It's a woman. "I'll give it a try," she says, "but bạn have to promise not to hit me on the head with the bia bottle."
A .. To see what was on the other side.
Q .. Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A .. Because on the box it đã đưa ý kiến From 2-4 years.
Q .. Why did the blonde call the welfare office?
A .. She wanted to know how to cook thực phẩm stamps!
A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One ngày the husband comes trang chủ from work and his wife says, "Honey, bạn know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could bạn fix it?" The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?" A few days go by, and he comes trang chủ from work and his wife says, "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could bạn change it for me?" He says: "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?" Another few days go by, and it's raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can bạn please fix it?" He says, "What do I look like, Bob Vila?" The tiếp theo ngày the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened. "Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them," she says. "Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls. Wife says: "Nothing. He đã đưa ý kiến he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake hoặc slept with him." "Uh, well, what kind of cake did bạn make?" asks the husband. "What do I look like," she says, "Betty Crocker?"
A young boy enters a barber cửa hàng and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do bạn want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” đã đưa ý kiến the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask bạn a question? Why did bạn take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the ngày I take the dollar, the game is over!”
A guy enters a bar carrying an alligator. Says to the patrons, "Here’s a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. The gator will close his mouth for one minute, then open it, and I'll remove my unit unscathed. If it works, everyone buys me drinks." The crowd agrees. The guy drops his pants and puts his privates in the gator's mouth. Gator closes mouth. After a minute, the guy grabs a bia bottle and bangs the gator on the hàng đầu, đầu trang of its head. The gator opens wide, and he removes his genitals unscathed. Everyone buys him drinks. Then he says: "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try." After a while, a hand goes up in the back of the bar. It's a woman. "I'll give it a try," she says, "but bạn have to promise not to hit me on the head with the bia bottle."
This has probably happened to a lot of bạn because of taking notes in class.
Have bạn ever got a little blister hoặc callus because of nghề viết văn too much on your finger? It's normal. All it is is a small callus from the pen applying a bit too much pressure hoặc rubbing for too long against your skin.
Calluses are not dangerous, but they aren't pretty either. All people who practice something with their hands all the time get them. Playing the đàn ghi ta, guitar hoặc even cooking a lot can result in calluses.
So bạn have some calluses and bạn want to get rid of them. Fine. Use pens that have a little padding and try not to push down so hard on the pen.
bạn can also do a treatment to get rid of calluses. Put your hands in warm water with chanh for 10 phút and let them soak. Then dry them off and apply creams hoặc hạnh nhân oil to the callus. Use hand cream daily and bạn will see a difference.
If the callus hurts and does not go away then ask your parents about it. Lol
Have bạn ever got a little blister hoặc callus because of nghề viết văn too much on your finger? It's normal. All it is is a small callus from the pen applying a bit too much pressure hoặc rubbing for too long against your skin.
Calluses are not dangerous, but they aren't pretty either. All people who practice something with their hands all the time get them. Playing the đàn ghi ta, guitar hoặc even cooking a lot can result in calluses.
So bạn have some calluses and bạn want to get rid of them. Fine. Use pens that have a little padding and try not to push down so hard on the pen.
bạn can also do a treatment to get rid of calluses. Put your hands in warm water with chanh for 10 phút and let them soak. Then dry them off and apply creams hoặc hạnh nhân oil to the callus. Use hand cream daily and bạn will see a difference.
If the callus hurts and does not go away then ask your parents about it. Lol
"WANNA MAKE a cutte quick effective difference in life...?"
1) If bạn Want to work for people ....Make your tim, trái tim the ultimate NGO and see the difference.
2) If bạn want fame ...Make yourself famous to yourself and see the difference
3) There is never a fresh start. But there is always a brighter start.
4) As bạn are the creator of your life, similarly bạn are the destroyer of your life.
5) Change not to please others, but to improve yourself.
6) And then remember the 2' ALWAYS:-
*always forget what people did bad for bạn
*always forget what bạn did good for people
P.S :- *always have an attitudde of excellance with combination of nobelity*
1) If bạn Want to work for people ....Make your tim, trái tim the ultimate NGO and see the difference.
2) If bạn want fame ...Make yourself famous to yourself and see the difference
3) There is never a fresh start. But there is always a brighter start.
4) As bạn are the creator of your life, similarly bạn are the destroyer of your life.
5) Change not to please others, but to improve yourself.
6) And then remember the 2' ALWAYS:-
*always forget what people did bad for bạn
*always forget what bạn did good for people
P.S :- *always have an attitudde of excellance with combination of nobelity*
I've recently heard that some people are offended bởi the T- áo sơ mi slogan "Boys are stupid, throw rocks at them," and think it's sexist and that people wouldn't react the same if it was women they were targeting.
But the thing is, I feel that the áo sơ mi isn't targeting men, but that it's for little girls who don't get along with boys. If I saw a five năm old boy wearing a áo sơ mi that đã đưa ý kiến "Girls Have Cooties" hoặc "Pull your sister's pigtails, she deserves it" I'd think it's cute.
I don't think it's sexist. If it was targeting the female hoặc male gender I'd think it was, but I think it's just little girls not getting along with little boys, and thinking they're gross, not anything that might be serious.
But the people who criticize the slogan do make a good point, have bạn ever seen a T.V. hiển thị where they always make the man look like an idiot and he follows his wife's every order? If the genders were reversed, it would be considered sexist.
But the thing is, I feel that the áo sơ mi isn't targeting men, but that it's for little girls who don't get along with boys. If I saw a five năm old boy wearing a áo sơ mi that đã đưa ý kiến "Girls Have Cooties" hoặc "Pull your sister's pigtails, she deserves it" I'd think it's cute.
I don't think it's sexist. If it was targeting the female hoặc male gender I'd think it was, but I think it's just little girls not getting along with little boys, and thinking they're gross, not anything that might be serious.
But the people who criticize the slogan do make a good point, have bạn ever seen a T.V. hiển thị where they always make the man look like an idiot and he follows his wife's every order? If the genders were reversed, it would be considered sexist.