Here's some of my fave "I wasnt that drunk" jokes hope bạn like :)
"I wasn't that drunk"
"You saw a ginger girl eating blueberries and screamed 'No Foxface! Not the berries!'"
"You ran into Walmart and when bạn heard someone talking on the intercom, bạn fell to your knees and said, 'God has spoken!'"
"You grabbed my parakeet, threw it at my sisters piggy bank and yelled, 'ANGRY BIRDS!!!!!'"
"You told me to give bạn a ride trang chủ and the part was at your house"
"You asked your girlfriend if she was single"
"You gave a midget a nấm and yelled 'GROW MARIO GROW!!!'"
"You were cutting open pineapples and yelling, " SPONGEBOB I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!!!!!'"
"You were screaming into my closet "WHERE IS NARNIA?!?'"
"You walked up to a semi- truck and whispered 'I know your secret..... Optimus Prime'"
"You were splashing around in the sink screaming "Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming'"
"You were in my pool screaming "WHERE IS NEMO?!?!'"
"You saw a midget, and tried to give him a sock. When he ran away bạn screamed "DOBBY!! STOP! I AM YOUR SAVIOR!!' and ran after him"
"You picked up my chuột đồng, hamster and đã đưa ý kiến "I choose you! Go pikachu!'"
"You were trying to swim in mud and đã đưa ý kiến 'IM IN WILLY WONKAS Sô cô la RIVER!!!'"
"You spent 2 hours trying to drown my goldfish"
"You kept shouting 'NEVER!!' at my sisters Justin Beiber posters"
"You asked my mom is she was a virgin"
"You pushed your girlfriend into my pool and shouted "BE FREE ARIEL!!!'"
"You tried to throw a con sóc, sóc in my pool and shouted "BIKINI BOTTOM NEEDS bạn SANDY!!'"
"You kept asking my cat why he killed Mufasa"
"You ran into a brick tường screaming "HOGWARTS HERE I COME!!'"
"You grabbed a sponge from my phòng bếp, nhà bếp and begged it to tell bạn the krabby patty secret formula"
"It was raining and bạn fell in a puddle and screamed "HELP IM DROWNING!!'"
"You held my cat in the air saying 'Simba!!'"
"You hugged an old man and đã đưa ý kiến "Dumbledore! You're alive!'"
"When I drove bạn trang chủ last night bạn were in the back ghế, chỗ ngồi pretending to steer with a paper plate"
"At a point I convinced bạn to bite your own nose and bạn spent an giờ rolling around on the floor screaming 'IT'S GETTING AWAY!!!'"
"You ran up to a cây and đã đưa ý kiến "LOOK HOW BIG THIS PIECE OF BROCOLI IS!!!'"
"You took out a phòng bếp, nhà bếp dao, con dao had Kelley throw trái cây at bạn and yelled 'I AM THE ULTIMATE trái cây NINJA!!'"
"You took my cat put it in a cái gối, gối and started hát 'IT'S A cái gối, gối IT'S A PET ITS A cái gối, gối PET!!!'"
"You preached at a búp bê barbie búp bê wedding"
"You congratulated a potato for getting a part in Toy Story"
"You were telling yo' mama jokes to orphans"
"You were arguing with yourself over the phone and got upset when bạn hung up"
"You got my parents replica of the efile tower stood on hàng đầu, đầu trang of it and screamed 'I AM KING KONG!!!!'"
bạn put your phone on airplane mode and kept throwing it up into the air screaming "WHY WON'T bạn FLY?!?!'"
"You put your new táo, apple IPhone in the blender because bạn wanted a smoothie"
"You got in a fist fight with Amy about her being on Team Jacob and then showed us your copies of the twilight books"
"When I drove bạn trang chủ bạn yelled 'SWERVE SWERVE!!" when bạn saw the cây air freshner"
"You saw my sisters 1D poster and screamed 'THE BRITISH ARE COMING THE BRITISH ARE COMING!!!!!'"
"You picked up a ginger kid and yelled 'ELMO WHERE IS YOUR GOLDFISH?!?!'"
"Your cell phone vibrated and bạn hid under a bàn screaming 'EARTHQUAKE!!!!!'"
"You glued a pop tart to my cat and threw it out of a window screaming 'NYAN CAT FLY!!!!'"
"You covered yourself in glitter and screamed 'I AM EDWARD CULLEN'!"
"You took my hat and muttered 'Not Slytherin'"
"You picked up a little Hispanic girl and yelled 'DORA I NEED YOUR MAP TO GET HOME!!' and the party was at your house"
"You jumped off the counter screaming 'I BELIEVE I CAN FLY!'"
"You stood on the edge of a cliff hát 'I'm on the edge of glory'"
"I wasn't that drunk"
"You saw a ginger girl eating blueberries and screamed 'No Foxface! Not the berries!'"
"You ran into Walmart and when bạn heard someone talking on the intercom, bạn fell to your knees and said, 'God has spoken!'"
"You grabbed my parakeet, threw it at my sisters piggy bank and yelled, 'ANGRY BIRDS!!!!!'"
"You told me to give bạn a ride trang chủ and the part was at your house"
"You asked your girlfriend if she was single"
"You gave a midget a nấm and yelled 'GROW MARIO GROW!!!'"
"You were cutting open pineapples and yelling, " SPONGEBOB I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!!!!!'"
"You were screaming into my closet "WHERE IS NARNIA?!?'"
"You walked up to a semi- truck and whispered 'I know your secret..... Optimus Prime'"
"You were splashing around in the sink screaming "Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming'"
"You were in my pool screaming "WHERE IS NEMO?!?!'"
"You saw a midget, and tried to give him a sock. When he ran away bạn screamed "DOBBY!! STOP! I AM YOUR SAVIOR!!' and ran after him"
"You picked up my chuột đồng, hamster and đã đưa ý kiến "I choose you! Go pikachu!'"
"You were trying to swim in mud and đã đưa ý kiến 'IM IN WILLY WONKAS Sô cô la RIVER!!!'"
"You spent 2 hours trying to drown my goldfish"
"You kept shouting 'NEVER!!' at my sisters Justin Beiber posters"
"You asked my mom is she was a virgin"
"You pushed your girlfriend into my pool and shouted "BE FREE ARIEL!!!'"
"You tried to throw a con sóc, sóc in my pool and shouted "BIKINI BOTTOM NEEDS bạn SANDY!!'"
"You kept asking my cat why he killed Mufasa"
"You ran into a brick tường screaming "HOGWARTS HERE I COME!!'"
"You grabbed a sponge from my phòng bếp, nhà bếp and begged it to tell bạn the krabby patty secret formula"
"It was raining and bạn fell in a puddle and screamed "HELP IM DROWNING!!'"
"You held my cat in the air saying 'Simba!!'"
"You hugged an old man and đã đưa ý kiến "Dumbledore! You're alive!'"
"When I drove bạn trang chủ last night bạn were in the back ghế, chỗ ngồi pretending to steer with a paper plate"
"At a point I convinced bạn to bite your own nose and bạn spent an giờ rolling around on the floor screaming 'IT'S GETTING AWAY!!!'"
"You ran up to a cây and đã đưa ý kiến "LOOK HOW BIG THIS PIECE OF BROCOLI IS!!!'"
"You took out a phòng bếp, nhà bếp dao, con dao had Kelley throw trái cây at bạn and yelled 'I AM THE ULTIMATE trái cây NINJA!!'"
"You took my cat put it in a cái gối, gối and started hát 'IT'S A cái gối, gối IT'S A PET ITS A cái gối, gối PET!!!'"
"You preached at a búp bê barbie búp bê wedding"
"You congratulated a potato for getting a part in Toy Story"
"You were telling yo' mama jokes to orphans"
"You were arguing with yourself over the phone and got upset when bạn hung up"
"You got my parents replica of the efile tower stood on hàng đầu, đầu trang of it and screamed 'I AM KING KONG!!!!'"
bạn put your phone on airplane mode and kept throwing it up into the air screaming "WHY WON'T bạn FLY?!?!'"
"You put your new táo, apple IPhone in the blender because bạn wanted a smoothie"
"You got in a fist fight with Amy about her being on Team Jacob and then showed us your copies of the twilight books"
"When I drove bạn trang chủ bạn yelled 'SWERVE SWERVE!!" when bạn saw the cây air freshner"
"You saw my sisters 1D poster and screamed 'THE BRITISH ARE COMING THE BRITISH ARE COMING!!!!!'"
"You picked up a ginger kid and yelled 'ELMO WHERE IS YOUR GOLDFISH?!?!'"
"Your cell phone vibrated and bạn hid under a bàn screaming 'EARTHQUAKE!!!!!'"
"You glued a pop tart to my cat and threw it out of a window screaming 'NYAN CAT FLY!!!!'"
"You covered yourself in glitter and screamed 'I AM EDWARD CULLEN'!"
"You took my hat and muttered 'Not Slytherin'"
"You picked up a little Hispanic girl and yelled 'DORA I NEED YOUR MAP TO GET HOME!!' and the party was at your house"
"You jumped off the counter screaming 'I BELIEVE I CAN FLY!'"
"You stood on the edge of a cliff hát 'I'm on the edge of glory'"