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What's the best joke bạn know?

 kndluva posted hơn một năm qua
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ngẫu nhiên  câu trả lời hay nhất

United86 said:
DIVORCE LETTER

Dear Wife:

I'm nghề viết văn bạn this letter to tell bạn that I'm leaving bạn forever. I've been a good man to bạn for seven years and I have nothing to hiển thị for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that bạn quit your job today and that was the last straw.

Last week, bạn came trang chủ and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut,had cooked your yêu thích meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. bạn ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after
watching all of your soaps. bạn don't tell me bạn tình yêu me anymore;
bạn don't want sex hoặc anything that connects us as husband and wife.

Either you're cheating on me hoặc bạn don't tình yêu me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.

Your EX-Husband

P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER Carla and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

______________________________________…
Dear Ex-Husband,

Nothing has made my ngày thêm than receiving your letter.
It's true that bạn and I have been married for seven years, although
a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so
much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work.

I DID notice when bạn got a hair cut last week, but the first thing
that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother
raised me not to say anything if bạn can't say something nice, I
didn't comment. And when bạn cooked my yêu thích meal, bạn must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.

About those new silk boxers: I turned away from bạn because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty do llars from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved bạn and felt that we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica . But then I got trang chủ bạn were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope bạn have the
fulfilling life bạn always wanted. My lawyer đã đưa ý kiến that the letter
bạn wrote ensures bạn won't get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed ,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told bạn this, but my sister Carla
was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.
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posted hơn một năm qua 
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XD That's hilarious!
kndluva posted hơn một năm qua
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XD
LunaShay posted hơn một năm qua
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LMFAO XD
Outsidersfan123 posted hơn một năm qua
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Các Câu Trả Lời

pumpkinqueen said:
I have three funny jokes.

Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown chịu, gấu suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The chịu, gấu sees the campers and begins to head toward them. The first guys drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The một giây guys says, "What are bạn doing? Sneakers won’t help bạn outrun that bear." "I don't need to outrun the bear," the first guy says. "I just need to outrun you."

Here's the other one.

A guy is sitting at trang chủ when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a ốc, ốc sên on the porch. He picks up the ốc, ốc sên and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The ốc, ốc sên says "What the hell was that all about?"

Here's the last one

Three kids come down to the phòng bếp, nhà bếp and sit around the breakfast table. The mother asks the oldest boy what he’d like to eat. "I’ll have some fuckin’ French toast," he says. The mother is outraged at his language, hits him, and sends him upstairs. She asks the middle child what he wants. "Well, I guess that leaves thêm fuckin’ French bánh mì nướng for me," he says. She is livid, smacks him, and sends him away. Finally she asks the youngest son what he wants for breakfast. "I don’t know," he says meekly, "but I definitely don’t want the fuckin’ French toast."
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posted hơn một năm qua 
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All of those are hilarious! XD XD XD XD
kndluva posted hơn một năm qua
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They are all good! However I think that I heard them before!
United86 posted hơn một năm qua
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ROFL
peterslover posted hơn một năm qua
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LOL – Liên minh huyền thoại
BlindBandit92 posted hơn một năm qua
Tamar20 said:
Eh I don't know if it's the best joke but it's what I have right now. :/
Best friends.. bạn fight, I fight. bạn hurt, I hurt. bạn cry, I cry. bạn jump off a bridge; I get in a paddle thuyền and save your stupid ass.
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posted hơn một năm qua 
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XD
pumpkinqueen posted hơn một năm qua
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Oh my god, thats funny and true at the exact same time
kndluva posted hơn một năm qua
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i heard that one but the ending was different it đã đưa ý kiến if bạn jump off a cliff i will laugh my a** off
Outsidersfan123 posted hơn một năm qua
adultswimperson said:
When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor had to call in the bomb squad.
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posted hơn một năm qua 
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Could bạn post one, please?
kndluva posted hơn một năm qua
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@kndluva, I changed my answer.
adultswimperson posted hơn một năm qua
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@United86, Ok.
adultswimperson posted hơn một năm qua
Princesskiara15 said:
why was the dog sweaty???
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posted hơn một năm qua 
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Why?
TDIFan960 posted hơn một năm qua
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Was it because he was a Hot Dog?
kndluva posted hơn một năm qua
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LOL – Liên minh huyền thoại
Tamar20 posted hơn một năm qua
Insane4ever said:
A chịu, gấu and a rabbit are shiting in some bushes and the chịu, gấu asks the rabbit "do bạn have problems with crap sticking to your fur,and the rabbit các câu trả lời "no i dont" so the chịu, gấu whipes his đít, mông, ass with the rabitt
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posted hơn một năm qua 
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XD
Tamar20 posted hơn một năm qua
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LMFAO That's oh so sad.
E_M_LoVeRFaN posted hơn một năm qua
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LOL – Liên minh huyền thoại
kndluva posted hơn một năm qua
E_M_LoVeRFaN said:
A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One ngày the husband comes trang chủ from work and his wife says, "Honey, bạn know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could bạn fix it?" The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?" A few days go by, and he comes trang chủ from work and his wife says, "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could bạn change it for me?" He says: "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?" Another few days go by, and it's raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can bạn please fix it?" He says, "What do I look like, Bob Vila?" The tiếp theo ngày the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened. "Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them," she says. "Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls. Wife says: "Nothing. He đã đưa ý kiến he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake hoặc slept with him." "Uh, well, what kind of cake did bạn make?" asks the husband. "What do I look like," she says, "Betty Crocker?"

OR

A guy enters a bar carrying an alligator. Says to the patrons, "Here’s a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. The gator will close his mouth for one minute, then open it, and I'll remove my unit unscathed. If it works, everyone buys me drinks." The crowd agrees. The guy drops his pants and puts his privates in the gator's mouth. Gator closes mouth. After a minute, the guy grabs a bia bottle and bangs the gator on the hàng đầu, đầu trang of its head. The gator opens wide, and he removes his genitals unscathed. Everyone buys him drinks. Then he says: "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try." After a while, a hand goes up in the back of the bar. It's a woman. "I'll give it a try," she says, "but bạn have to promise not to hit me on the head with the bia bottle."
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posted hơn một năm qua 
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:P FUNNY.
kndluva posted hơn một năm qua
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Thanks xD I like them too.
E_M_LoVeRFaN posted hơn một năm qua
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XD
kndluva posted hơn một năm qua
Outsidersfan123 said:
I don't know if this can be counted as one

Teacher to student:why are bạn talking in the middle of my lesson.

Student to teacher: why are bạn talking in the middle of my conversation
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posted hơn một năm qua 
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XD
kndluva posted hơn một năm qua
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