Is This Bad?

Well, I'll risk offending bạn and I'll try to give my honest opinion about what I dislike in your story. It seemed quite good in the beginning- I liked both the storyline and the characterization. It was when Naruto entered that things got ugly. Because let me get this straight; he and the narrator introduced themselves, made out (erections included) and started a relationship, all during a two một phút conversation? With their teacher and entire classroom full of teenagers watching? Even for fanfiction, it’s too fast and unrealistic. The process of meeting, kissing, going out and falling for someone would normally last for weeks. bạn could’ve made several người hâm mộ fiction chapters with just this plotline, and bạn wasted it in one scene. *sighs* But hell, it usually doesn't even count whether người hâm mộ fictions have good plots- I'm merelly saying what could have been written better according to my personal opinion.