Does time heals all wounds? I’ve heard many survivors of abuse try to soothe themselves bởi saying, “Soon, this will pass.” It does take time to heal—and lots of it. But time alone won’t repair the soul mutilation of abuse anymore than it will repair the destruction caused bởi an earthquake. Sexual abuse ravages the depths of your being and to be restored, you’ll need to face each wounded area. Healing takes great quantities of perseverance, courage, strength and yes, time.
Recognizing the Abuse
The first step in beginning to heal from any kind of abuse is to recognize and acknowledge that it happened to you, and that it matters. It’s very common to remember an unwanted sexual encounter, yet not recognize it as sexual abuse. Sexual abuse is when someone with less power is tricked, trapped, coerced, hoặc bribed into any type of sexual experience. Power imbalance may result from the perpetrator’s age, size, position, experience, hoặc authority and includes kissing, fondling, being forced to touch the abuser’s genitals, anal, oral hoặc vaginal sex, and non-contact acts such as exhibitionism, exposure to pornography, voyeurism hoặc sexual comments.
Though bạn may not label it as such, the effects are no less present. The attempt to deny the seriousness doesn’t the effects. Just the opposite is true. bạn may have low self-esteem as a result of your abuse and might not think it matters that bạn were hurt, but your life is important and bạn are worth the time and effort it takes to overcome this.
Gaining the Proper Perspective
While it’s common to see the abuse as less serious than it is, it’s also common to see the abuse as bigger than it is. The abuse leaves bạn feeling powerless. Often, that feeling carries into the healing process. The powerlessness causes bạn to think of yourself as less capable and weaker than bạn are. The effects of abuse can seem engulfing, yet bạn are stronger than the abuse hoặc its effects. Your survival proves that. You’ve lived through the worst of it and the same strength that preserved your life will help bạn build a new one.
Facing the Effects and Envisioning a Better Future
It’s important to see how sexual abuse has affected your life. Go through the symptom checklist Possible Indicators of Sexual Abuse. Don’t get overwhelmed. Instead, recognize the symptoms of victimization for what they are. Once bạn recognize how much the abuse has affected you, bạn can see how much bạn have to gain bởi the healing process.
Sometimes it’s hard to visualize a life not consumed with abuse, but try to imagine yourself doing something that bạn weren’t able to do before.
Facing the Pain
The pain of abuse can be agonizing and incapacitating. Sometimes, it overtakes bạn and it’s impossible to think about anything else. At those times, pain seems like the enemy. bạn may try to avoid it through masking hoặc stuffing. Pain won’t kill you, but failing to deal with the pain can hoặc shorten your life.
Pain is a vital tool in healing and will only be eliminated as your wounds heal. It’s meant to be a signal to help bạn find the specific areas that need your protection, nurturing and attention. If bạn cooperate with your pain instead of fighting it, it will be your ally.
When bạn recognize a feeling emerging, try to identify when it started. Understanding the origin of the event hoặc memory can help bạn process and work through the feeling.
Even if bạn don’t know why bạn feel the way bạn do, it’s still important to express your emotions. Masking hoặc stuffing feelings won’t make them go away, only expressing them will.
Be careful not to judge your feelings. Feelings are neither good nor bad. They are helpful indicators of what bạn believe about your experience. bạn will likely experience anger and hatred and many other powerful emotions during this time. The thêm comfortable bạn become in allowing the feelings to surface, the easier your healing will be.
Gathering Your Resources
A support system is vital to your healing. Những người bạn and family members, support groups and/or a therapist can fill this need. bạn can’t do this alone. bạn suffered alone for long enough and bạn need others around bạn to heal. Choose people who will take the time to listen without judgment and who help bạn feel safe.
Professionals who are familiar with sexual abuse issues not only provide support bởi listening but also bởi educating bạn on the process, though many survivors heal without professional counseling. If bạn choose not to seek therapy hoặc can’t afford it, bạn will need to learn everything bạn can about the subject. Doing so will prepare bạn for the journey bởi telling bạn what to expect and bởi affirming your thoughts and feelings. Here is a danh sách of recommended reading. Even if bạn hire a therapist, bạn are responsible for educating yourself and for your own healing. Nobody can do it for you.
Taking the Plunge
bạn may be tempted to put your healing on hold while waiting for your abuser to apologize hoặc your family to believe you. Unfortunately, those things may never happen. Isn’t it time for bạn to be in control of your own life? Don’t allow someone else to determine when your healing journey begins. Others may not choose to do what’s best for you, but bạn can.
Recognizing the Abuse
The first step in beginning to heal from any kind of abuse is to recognize and acknowledge that it happened to you, and that it matters. It’s very common to remember an unwanted sexual encounter, yet not recognize it as sexual abuse. Sexual abuse is when someone with less power is tricked, trapped, coerced, hoặc bribed into any type of sexual experience. Power imbalance may result from the perpetrator’s age, size, position, experience, hoặc authority and includes kissing, fondling, being forced to touch the abuser’s genitals, anal, oral hoặc vaginal sex, and non-contact acts such as exhibitionism, exposure to pornography, voyeurism hoặc sexual comments.
Though bạn may not label it as such, the effects are no less present. The attempt to deny the seriousness doesn’t the effects. Just the opposite is true. bạn may have low self-esteem as a result of your abuse and might not think it matters that bạn were hurt, but your life is important and bạn are worth the time and effort it takes to overcome this.
Gaining the Proper Perspective
While it’s common to see the abuse as less serious than it is, it’s also common to see the abuse as bigger than it is. The abuse leaves bạn feeling powerless. Often, that feeling carries into the healing process. The powerlessness causes bạn to think of yourself as less capable and weaker than bạn are. The effects of abuse can seem engulfing, yet bạn are stronger than the abuse hoặc its effects. Your survival proves that. You’ve lived through the worst of it and the same strength that preserved your life will help bạn build a new one.
Facing the Effects and Envisioning a Better Future
It’s important to see how sexual abuse has affected your life. Go through the symptom checklist Possible Indicators of Sexual Abuse. Don’t get overwhelmed. Instead, recognize the symptoms of victimization for what they are. Once bạn recognize how much the abuse has affected you, bạn can see how much bạn have to gain bởi the healing process.
Sometimes it’s hard to visualize a life not consumed with abuse, but try to imagine yourself doing something that bạn weren’t able to do before.
Facing the Pain
The pain of abuse can be agonizing and incapacitating. Sometimes, it overtakes bạn and it’s impossible to think about anything else. At those times, pain seems like the enemy. bạn may try to avoid it through masking hoặc stuffing. Pain won’t kill you, but failing to deal with the pain can hoặc shorten your life.
Pain is a vital tool in healing and will only be eliminated as your wounds heal. It’s meant to be a signal to help bạn find the specific areas that need your protection, nurturing and attention. If bạn cooperate with your pain instead of fighting it, it will be your ally.
When bạn recognize a feeling emerging, try to identify when it started. Understanding the origin of the event hoặc memory can help bạn process and work through the feeling.
Even if bạn don’t know why bạn feel the way bạn do, it’s still important to express your emotions. Masking hoặc stuffing feelings won’t make them go away, only expressing them will.
Be careful not to judge your feelings. Feelings are neither good nor bad. They are helpful indicators of what bạn believe about your experience. bạn will likely experience anger and hatred and many other powerful emotions during this time. The thêm comfortable bạn become in allowing the feelings to surface, the easier your healing will be.
Gathering Your Resources
A support system is vital to your healing. Những người bạn and family members, support groups and/or a therapist can fill this need. bạn can’t do this alone. bạn suffered alone for long enough and bạn need others around bạn to heal. Choose people who will take the time to listen without judgment and who help bạn feel safe.
Professionals who are familiar with sexual abuse issues not only provide support bởi listening but also bởi educating bạn on the process, though many survivors heal without professional counseling. If bạn choose not to seek therapy hoặc can’t afford it, bạn will need to learn everything bạn can about the subject. Doing so will prepare bạn for the journey bởi telling bạn what to expect and bởi affirming your thoughts and feelings. Here is a danh sách of recommended reading. Even if bạn hire a therapist, bạn are responsible for educating yourself and for your own healing. Nobody can do it for you.
Taking the Plunge
bạn may be tempted to put your healing on hold while waiting for your abuser to apologize hoặc your family to believe you. Unfortunately, those things may never happen. Isn’t it time for bạn to be in control of your own life? Don’t allow someone else to determine when your healing journey begins. Others may not choose to do what’s best for you, but bạn can.