This is Part 2 of the first episode of The Charlie Arc. Check out Part 1 if bạn haven't read it yet.
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The boys and Charlie are at Stan's house, in his bedroom. Mrs. Marsh (Sharon) knocks and comes in with cookies.
SHARON: Stan, I think it's so nice that bạn invited all your little Những người bạn over!
STAN: Sure, Mom.
SHARON: And it's so nice that bạn finally made a new friend! What did bạn say his name was?
STAN: Charlie. And she's a girl.
SHARON: Of course, sweetheart. Have a nice time, kids!
She exits.
STAN to Charlie: Sorry about that.
CHARLIE: It's okay. Thanks for inviting me over.
KYLE: It's probably the least he could do considering he let bạn get together with Bebe.
CARTMAN: Well guys, I'm not entirely convinced that Charlie—IF that is your name—[Charlie looks a little confused] is actually a girl. Maybe he's just pretending 'cause he's gay.
CHARLIE: Am not!
KYLE: Yeah, shut up, fat boy! She's a girl!
CARTMAN (in a teasing voice): Kyle likes Charlie! Kyle likes a boy! Jews are gay!
KYLE: Shut up bạn stupid piece of shit!
CARTMAN: I'll prove it to you! Charlie, pull down your pants!
CHARLIE: What? No thanks.
CARTMAN: No, seriously! bạn don't have something to HIDE from us, do you? Like a penis?
CHARLIE: Of course not, I just don't wanna pull down my pants!
KENNY: (That's fucked up, Cartman.)
STAN: Yeah, Cartman! You're a sick pervert!
CARTMAN: Oh yeah? [He leans over and grabs Charlie's pants.]
Charlie kicks Cartman in the face with her other foot. Cartman lets go and moans a little. Suddenly Cartman opens his mouth and spits a load of blood on the floor. Stan runs to the door.
STAN: Mom! Cartman tried to pull down Charlie's pants to see if she had a penis and she kicked him in the face and he puked blood on my carpet!
Sharon hurries into the room. Cartman is moaning pitifully.
CARTMAN: I feel victimized!
SHARON: My God Stanley, they've been over for all of five phút and this happens!
KYLE: It was Cartman's fault, Mrs. Marsh. He was being a sick pervert and trying to take Charlie's pants off.
SHARON: …Okay… Eric, do bạn want me to call your mom?
CARTMAN: I'm so abused! What did I do to deserve this?
Sharon leads Cartman out of the room.
SHARON: Stan, if any thêm of your Những người bạn vomit blood on your carpet, you're done playing for the day. Do bạn understand me?
STAN: Okay, Mom.
The two leave. Cartman can be heard crying for a little while. The four remaining, sitting in a bit of a vòng tròn on the floor, sit in awkward silence for awhile.
STAN: When does Terrance and Phillip start?
KYLE: Twenty minutes.
STAN: Crap. We have twenty phút to kill. What do bạn wanna do, Kenny?
KENNY: (Jack off.)
STAN: That's stupid. That's all bạn ever wanna do.
KENNY (indignantly): (It's fun!)
KYLE: Well, what do bạn wanna do, Charlie?
CHARLIE: I dunno… whatever bạn wanna do.
STAN: What do bạn wanna do, Kyle?
KYLE: I dunno. It's your house. What do bạn wanna do?
Pause.
STAN: This is retarded. Let's go watch the last fifteen phút of Spongebob before Terrance and Phillip is on.
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The four are watching Spongebob on the couch.
SPONGEBOB: Patrick, do bạn want a Krabby Patty?
PATRICK: Uhhh…
SPONGEBOB: Hey, Squidward! How do bạn like my new pet jellyfish?
SQUIDWARD: [Mumbles angrily.]
MR. KRABS: Money!
KYLE: Dude, this hiển thị sucks.
Spongebob ends with everyone laughing stupidly in a circle. Patrick is hitting himself on the head with a rock. All four stare stone-faced at the television.
TV Announcer: And now, the Terrance and Phillip program!
ALL: Yay!
TERRANCE: Well, Phillip, it appears that we are in the Arctic among native Eskimos!
PHILLIP: It sure does Terrance. Hey, Terrance?
TERRANCE: Yes, Phillip?
Phillip farts. Both of them laugh. The kids laugh.
TERRANCE: That was a good one Phillip!
PHILLIP: Oh look, there is the chief of the tribe! Hello there!
The chief stares solemnly at the pair.
TERRANCE: Eskimo chief? Guess what? There's a magic rock on the ground!
Eskimo chief looks surprised and excited.
TERRANCE: Look closer and you'll be able to see it.
Chief leans down.
TERRANCE: Closer… Closer…
STAN: I know what he's gonna do!
Terrance farts in the chief's face. Chief growls, the two laugh, and the chief starts to laugh too. The four kids laugh.
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The hiển thị is ending. The four are watching, transfixed, with smiles on their faces.
TERRANCE: Well, Phillip, although we couldn't persuade the Eskimos to convert to Catholicism, at least we got these wonderful jackets made out of cá voi blubber!
PHILLIP: Help! Mine's on fire! Help me Terrance!
Terrance approaches Phillip, who farts in his face. The End. The four laugh.
STAN: That was sweet!
KENNY: (Those fart jokes never get old!)
KYLE: bạn got that right, Kenny.
STAN: Hey, where's Charlie?
Charlie is running down the stairs from Stan's room, pulling on her coat.
CHARLIE: I forgot I had to be trang chủ bởi four! I live all the way on the other side of town! I've got to go!
STAN: That's where Kenny lives. Maybe his mom could—
She's gone.
KYLE: What was that about?
STAN: I dunno. Maybe her mom's really strict hoặc something.
Suddenly, Charlie opens the door again.
CHARLIE: Bathroom?
STAN: Right over there.
CHARLIE: Thanks.
The three listen to the bathroom door slam, and about five giây later they hear a flush and a sink.
CHARLIE: Bye!
She runs out the front door again.
STAN: What the hell was that?
KYLE: Maybe all girls act like that.
KENNY: (It's probably just PMS.)
The three laugh.
STAN: What's PMS?
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The boys are standing at the bus stop. Stan, Kyle, and Kenny are just standing there. Cartman has a bandage on his nose. He's hát "The Long and Winding Road" to himself. The bus pulls up.
MS. CRABTREE: Hurry up! We're running late! And be quiet!
The four get on the bus. Cartman is still singing/humming to himself.
KYLE: Hey, where's Charlie?
CARTMAN: Probably trying to get somebody else to Kiss her ass. tiếp theo time I see her I swear to God I'll just be like, "Hey, bạn asshole! I… bạn stupid bitch! Go make me a pot pie!" And I'll kick her in the nuts hoặc something.
STAN: Girls don't have nuts, Cartman.
CARTMAN: Really?
KYLE: I thought bạn knew that when bạn were trying to see if she had a penis yesterday. [He shrugs.]
CARTMAN (thinking): Nuts are associated with the male anatomy?
MS. CRABTREE: HEY! SHUT UP BACK THERE! I'M GONNA GET IN AN ACCIDENT AND SOMEBODY'S GONNA GET HURT!
She pulls to a sharp stop. Most of the kids fall out of their seats.
MS. CRABTREE: Everybody off! Stay in line!
The kids get off the bus and walk into the school.
MR. GARRISON: All right kids, everybody get in your ghế, chỗ ngồi so I can take attendance. [Murmurs to himself] All right… Does anybody know where Charlie Pierzynski is?
STAN: She wasn't on the bus.
MR. GARRISON to Mr. Hat: Stupid kids. Late for school all the time. Sometimes I wanna—
MR. HAT: Calm down, Mr. Garrison. Remember, patience.
MR. GARRISON: [Sigh.] You're right, Mr. Hat. All right kids, first on the agenda today… Why don't bạn pass up your homework?
Charlie walks in. She has a black eye and a band-aid on her nose. She gives a little note to Mr. Garrison. He reads it then looks questioningly at her.
MR. GARRISON: Are bạn sure?
Charlie nods.
MR. GARRISON: …Okay. Well take your seat.
Charlie sits down tiếp theo to Kenny again.
MR. GARRISON: Now class, today we're starting our big unit on pioneers! Isn't that exciting?
The class stares at him.
MR. HAT: It sure is, Mr. Garrison. Did bạn know that the U.S. bought a lot of its land-including some of Colorado-from France in the Louisiana Purchase?
MR. GARRISON: Wow, that's very interesting Mr. Hat! It was the Louisiana Purchase that allowed the pioneers to di chuyển west, since they now owned the land! Yes, Charlie?
Charlie pukes blood all over her desk, then faints and falls off her chair. The class gasps.
MR. GARRISON: Oh no, not again.
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Mr. Garrison is carrying Charlie and is followed bởi Kenny and Kyle. They're going to the nurse's office.
NURSE: Oh dear, what do we have here?
MR. GARRISON: I have no idea, but she came into class with a black eye—
KYLE: …and then she barfed blood and fainted!
KENNY: (It was awesome!)
Charlie wakes up and shouts something hoarsely.
CHARLIE [in a whispered scream]: Put me down, let me down!
Mr. Garrison looks surprised and puts her on one of the beds. She breathes deeply, then opens her eyes and sees the Nurse, Mr. Garrison, Kyle, and Kenny. She doesn't say anything, but she looks confused.
NURSE: You're at school, hun. bạn just got a little sick. Why don't bạn try to rest for awhile?
NURSE to Mr. Garrison: Do bạn think…?
MR. GARRISON: I'm not sure, she looked fine yesterday.
NURSE: I'll have to check. Kenny, could bạn hand me that tray of dangerous medical equipment?
Kenny nervously approaches it, picks it up, and walks it over to the Nurse.
NURSE: Thank you.
Kenny sighs in relief. Then he begins to hiccup. The Nurse pulls a sheet between her and Charlie and Mr. Garrison and the boys. Our view is from the boys' side of the curtain.
CHARLIE: What are bạn doing?
NURSE: Relax. Now take your áo, áo khoác off.
CHARLIE: I don't want to.
NURSE: bạn have to. [There's a brief pause.] Oh my goodness.
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Back in the classroom, everyone is quiet. A few of them are looking at the blood all over the desk.
CARTMAN: bạn know, it's sort of funny that everything that she did to me yesterday is happening to her now.
STAN: What do bạn mean?
CARTMAN: Well, the chó cái, bitch kicked me in the face and pretty much broke my nose, and now she's got a bandage on HER nose.
STAN: So?
CARTMAN: And THEN she puked blood. Yesterday I puked blood. Coincidence, hoặc karma?
The other kids stare at him. Bebe is crying, and Wendy is comforting her.
BEBE: What happened to him?
WENDY: It's okay, I'm sure he'll be fine.
BEBE: My life is over!
STAN to Bebe: Um, Bebe?
BEBE: What?
STAN: I don't think bạn should go out with Charlie.
BEBE: Why not?
STAN: Well… Charlie's a girl.
BEBE: WHAT?
WENDY: Stan, why didn't bạn tell me that?
STAN: bạn wouldn't let me!
WENDY: But his hoặc her name's Charlie!
STAN: She says it's short for Charlotte!
BEBE: I kissed her on the cheek! Oh my God!
Bebe runs from the room, gagging.
WENDY: Why didn't she say something?
STAN: I dunno. Maybe 'cause bạn told her Bebe thought she was cute. That was pretty fucked up.
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NURSE to Mr. Garrison: She has bruises all over her arms and chest.
MR. GARRISON: Did she say where she got them?
NURSE: She đã đưa ý kiến she ran into a fridge and fell down the stairs.
KYLE: That's what she told us all right. Wait—actually, I think she told us it was a table.
KENNY: (Yup, she đã đưa ý kiến table.) Hiccup.
NURSE: I think I'll call her home.
KYLE: Is she gonna be okay?
NURSE: She should be fine. I'll talk to her mother about what happened and ask her to get her a doctor appointment. bạn boys should be getting back to class.
Bebe runs into the room.
BEBE: I'm dying! I'm dying!
NURSE: What happened?
BEBE: I kissed a girl!
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Mr. Garrison, Kenny, Kyle, and Bebe are in the classroom again with everyone else.
MR. GARRISON: I'm sorry about the interruption, class. Charlie should be okay, she's just going to miss the rest of the day.
STAN: Mr. Garrison?
MR. GARRISON: Yes, Stanley?
STAN: That bloody puke smells really bad Mr. Garrison.
MR. GARRISON: Oh. Right. Kenny, will bạn go get the janitor?
Kenny sighs and leaves the room. And hiccups.
MR. GARRISON: Now, where was I…?
MR. HAT: The Louisiana Purchase, Mr. Garrison!
MR. GARRISON: Oh boy!
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Charlie is lying awake in the nurse's office without her áo khoác on. Instead, she's just wearing a light purple T-shirt. In addition to her black eye and injured nose, her arms are badly bruised. Suddenly, Mr. Mackey, the guidance counselor, comes into her little area with the curtain.
MR. MACKEY: Hi there, I'm Mr. Mackey, your counselor, m'kay?
CHARLIE: …Okay.
MR. MACKEY: Now, as I understand it, bạn might be having some trouble at home, m'kay?
He sits down in a chair.
MR. MACKEY: I just want bạn to know bạn can tell me about it, m'kay?
Charlie stares at him.
MR. MACKEY: Let's start with the basics. Who is in your family?
CHARLIE: Well, I have a mom, and a little sister. She's four. And a little brother. He's just a baby.
MR. MACKEY: Does your Dad live with you?
CHARLIE: Not recently.
MR. MACKEY: M'kay. Do either of your parents do mar-juana?
There's a brief pause.
CHARLIE: What?
MR. MACKEY: Do either of your parents do mar-juana?
CHARLIE: What's mar-juana?
MR. MACKEY: Mar-juana is a drug. Drugs are bad, m'kay?
CHARLIE: I don't know.
MR. MACKEY: Well, do your parents get angry at bạn very often?
CHARLIE: My mom's really strict. I like my dad a lot though.
MR. MACKEY: Do your parents ever hit you?
Charlie hesitates.
MR. MACKEY: Do your parents ever hit you?
CHARLIE: …No.
MR. MACKEY [taking notes]: M'kay. I noticed you're all bruised up, Charlie. How'd bạn get those bruises?
CHARLIE: Why do I have to tell you?
MR. MACKEY: I just need to get the facts down, m'kay?
CHARLIE: Yesterday I ran into a refrigerator and today I fell down the stairs into the basement.
MR. MACKEY: M'kay. Nurse Gollum called your mom.
Charlie stares.
MR. MACKEY: She says she's too busy to pick bạn up, m'kay? She also says that bạn have bad allergies.
CHARLIE: Oh… yeah.
MR. MACKEY: So she says bạn don't need to go to the hospital. She just đã đưa ý kiến to give bạn an inhaler.
CHARLIE: …Okay.
MR. MACKEY: Have bạn thrown up blood because of allergies before?
CHARLIE: Oh, yeah. Loads of times.
MR. MACKEY: Oh really. Then do bạn know what… [pulls out an inhaler dramatically]… this is?
CHARLIE: …An inhaler?
MR. MACKEY: …Oh. Yes, it is. Um, I'll be just down the hall if bạn ever want to talk to me about anything, m'kay?
CHARLIE: Okay. Thanks.
Mr. Mackey leaves, leaving the inhaler on the bed. Charlie picks it up, sprays a little bit of the medicine into the air, and coughs.
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That ngày after school, the kids are getting onto the bus. Charlie is really pale and looks sick and tired.
KYLE: Why wouldn't your mom pick bạn up?
CHARLIE: She was just busy. It's okay. I'm fine.
CARTMAN: Well then, I guess bạn won't mind if I kick bạn in the nuts!
He kicks Charlie in the crotch.
CHARLIE (grabbing her crotch): Ow! What was that for?
CARTMAN: See? See, I told bạn guys it was a boy!
CHARLIE: I'm not a boy!
CARTMAN: Well, then, why did it hurt when I kicked bạn in the nuts?
CHARLIE: Well first of all, I'm not numb down there hoặc anything. It still hurts. Just not as much.
There's a pause.
CARTMAN: Really?
CHARLIE: Yes. And second, for the last time: I do not have nuts.
Kenny hiccups a few times.
STAN: Wow, Kenny. You've had the hiccups almost all day.
Kenny shrugs.
KYLE: Isn't it annoying?
Kenny shrugs. They all climb on the bus. Cartman and Kenny sit together, Stan and Kyle sit together, and Charlie sits tiếp theo to Butters.
BUTTERS: Are bạn contagious?
CHARLIE: I don't think so.
BUTTERS: Are bạn sure?
CHARLIE: Pretty sure.
BUTTERS: Positive?
CHARLIE: No.
Butters shudders a little and turns away.
KYLE to Charlie: Fat-ass says only Kenny can come to his house today for some reason. Do bạn wanna come to my house with Stan and me? hoặc are bạn too sick?
CHARLIE (smiling a little): Well, I have to be trang chủ bởi four, but sure.
