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hiển thị các bài viết 1-10 của 4837

Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
Being alone and being lonely are two entirely different things. bạn may be surrounded bởi others, but do bạn truly consider any of those people your friend?  đã đăng cách đây một tháng 1
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
I am honestly glad to be a mental health guru and wizard for a lot of people and it makes me happy to be able to help as many people as I do. It makes me really happy and honestly its one of the things that helps keep me grounded to the world and thus I almost actively seek it out at this point.

But honestly, sometimes I wish I had someone who could be a mental health guru / wizard for me at times. Often times I know if I were to talk about my problems, they'd either go ignored đã đăng cách đây một tháng 1
Riku114 đã bình luận…
hoặc few would be able to say anything to help hoặc assist hoặc comfort me. I've kinda grown painfully aware that for a lot of this, I am kind of out here on my own figuring out how to make things work, and even within therapists and psychiatrists, few do much help as much as discussion and mutual planning at this point. cách đây một tháng 1
Riku114 đã bình luận…
I am not upset bởi any means that the amount I put out to people to help them and what I receive back are not equal, to be honest thats just the way it is with rare and kinda severe mental health issues and I've grown used to and accept it. To be honest, if anything, it is one of the reasons I want to reach out and help people as much as I can cách đây một tháng 1
Riku114 đã bình luận…
I figure if I have to go through all the work of figuring out how to maneuver therapy, recovery, mental health, and all that with little people to guide me hoặc help me, I can at least use my struggle and the knowledge I got from it to leave a bánh mỳ, bánh mì crumb for others to follow cách đây một tháng 1
Riku114 đã bình luận…
Admittedly, I really don't know half of what I am doing hoặc if I am doing it right when it comes to my mental health, and I just go off of what seems best with the infomration I have at hand and its done me well, but if I could one ngày figure a way to a good life and if I could leave that bánh mỳ, bánh mì crumb trail I took to get there for people to follow, then I suppose at least in a way that my struggle was actually worth it cách đây một tháng 1
LuceOfTheLight đã đưa ý kiến …
I would like to say that I am bởi no means planning to hide the fact that I am an alter of Riku's as much as I would prefer to be treated and respected as an individual.

With that being said, Riku and myself have a stern policy that anything that one alter does reflects on the whole system. If Riku causes problems, then it is both her and my responsibility to handle it. Likewise, if I upset you, it is both our responsibilities to handle it. đã đăng cách đây một tháng 1
LuceOfTheLight đã bình luận…
While we do identify separately, we are a single unit possessing a single body and a single brain and thus are responsible for everything done as a system. I do apologize if issues to arise regarding myself hoặc Aderis hoặc even Riku, and we take full responsibility. So if anything regarding this becomes a problem, please be patient while Riku and I (hopefully eventually Aderis as well) figure it out cách đây một tháng 1
LuceOfTheLight đã bình luận…
I figured that it would be beneficial for me to interact outside of the system thêm often and the only reason I am currently being as active as I am is because I do not know the tiếp theo time I will be out. cách đây một tháng 1
LuceOfTheLight đã đưa ý kiến …
Per request I am now having a Sakamoto icon. đã đăng cách đây một tháng 1
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
Anyone ever sit there and realize bạn are so fucked up and fucked over that bạn probably shouldn't even be alive bởi any logical standard? đã đăng cách đây một tháng 1
Riku114 đã bình luận…
I'm proud to be alive despite it all, but really... I am so fucked up its hard to imagine. cách đây một tháng 1
Lusamine đã bình luận…
Pain is beauty. If anything, this makes bạn a stronger and wiser person, thêm suitable to thrive than any other. Take it as a compliment. cách đây một tháng 1
LuceOfTheLight đã bình luận…
It is how things are for some like us. All bạn can do is as Lusamine alluded to. Let the pain and suffering make bạn a stronger wiser person. Nothing can really change the past and all bạn can do is di chuyển phía trước, chuyển tiếp making the best of the hand bạn were dealt. cách đây một tháng 1
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
>tfw bạn are being a #sadboi over something DID related that is so deep into it that it sounds ridiculous if bạn were to share it

It not that bad, Im just being kind of down and frustrated and mopey but its just a me problem tbh. >.> đã đăng cách đây 2 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
It is almost funny how clear cut and obvious it is that my Trichotillomania picks up 40x when I am at trang chủ and around my family a lot.

When I'm at college, Ill typically only pluck in small amounts that are negligible and have maybe one large session of plucking every couple weeks hoặc so. It lets them grow decently before being plucked and thats actually pretty good compared to the past

I come back trang chủ and every ngày that I'm around them I pretty much start blank. đã đăng cách đây 2 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
Its really really bad to be honest. When I'm bởi myself I barely pluck, when I am with Kendall I near to never pluck, when I am trang chủ and around my parents, I pluck daily even if I don't want to cách đây 2 tháng
J_E_T đã bình luận…
If your parents are around just look at them and say to yourself my beautiful hair is too damn sexy to give a shit about this. cách đây 2 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
XD I know but I wish it was like that. My amygdala just responds regardless XD cách đây 2 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
Yooo guys back from my trip XD đã đăng cách đây 2 tháng
J_E_T đã bình luận…
Miss your company...did bạn had fun? xD cách đây 2 tháng
TheLefteris24 đã bình luận…
Welcome back! Hope bạn had a great time !!!! cách đây 2 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
Yeah it was XD cách đây 2 tháng
_Aderis_ đã đưa ý kiến …
I am the Roast Queen. To add to that I am also the Sass Queen but I prefer the Roast Queen thank bạn very much. đã đăng cách đây 2 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
Happy Fathers ngày to everyone and for those who don't have a father figure in their life hoặc a good one, I'll adopt bạn :v đã đăng cách đây 2 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
Man I need a new biểu tượng but I havent been super attached to anything as I've been focusing on my finals and getting the fuck trang chủ that I really haven't had enough stable free time to just like... chill and read my mangaor anything XD đã đăng cách đây 2 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
I guess Ill settle with this handsome boy for now cách đây 2 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
Trauma resurfacing from thin dissociaitve walls and bubbling back up in a PTSD sense sucks. Its probably my lightest unprocessed trauma and it fucking sucks.

I can literally be having a good ngày then one word hoặc one image and flick there goes my brain trying to give me a flashback and crap

Kms, not really but still. đã đăng cách đây 2 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
ONE FINAL DOWN THREE TO GO đã đăng cách đây 2 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
I honestly cant wait to be trang chủ in a little over a week man. đã đăng cách đây 2 tháng
LuceOfTheLight đã đưa ý kiến …
Riku says I have to make my biểu tượng Sakamoto. đã đăng cách đây 2 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
FFF Dont call me out :v I didn't even notice this was here :vvv cách đây 2 tháng
TheLefteris24 đã bình luận…
bạn really should !!!! cách đây 2 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
Honestly a lot of the times my detachment from a lot from the world and what not serves me alright and sometimes well to reaching my goal and not getting bothered bởi the small things in life, but sometimes, often times, it can get to the worse either when it feels like the world is too far separate from me hoặc when I feel like this is a secondary world and like I've been detached and disconnect from the world I actually belong in. đã đăng cách đây 2 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
Sometimes its a weird feeling. Its like being homesick from a sense of reality / world that bạn don't even really know. cách đây 2 tháng
_Aderis_ đã đưa ý kiến …
Also I added my responses to some of the DID Alter Q and A đã đăng cách đây 2 tháng
_Aderis_ đã đưa ý kiến …
I'm going to compromise and post here just saying that sometimes I feel like I want to use my own account. It's a fine line to walk though, between freaking Riku out and between holding myself back from saying something 'mean' hoặc 'rude' hoặc 'improper' that might soil some of Riku's image.

Out of respect for her I try to stay out of the picture but bạn know~

I like to have my fun as well.

Besides, if Lucille can post a thing hoặc two I sure don't see why I can't post an innocent post. đã đăng cách đây 2 tháng
_Aderis_ đã bình luận…
Also hi Riku. Bet this is spookin ya but I want some fun as well. I'm behaving, don't worry about it. Buh bye, that is all. cách đây 2 tháng
_Aderis_ đã bình luận…
For those that aren't Riku feel free to friend me and message me hoặc whatever. I don't particularly care and I'll reply like.. whenever I front and feel like it. Maybe that'd be a week, maybe a month, who knows. Not my problem tbh. cách đây 2 tháng
_Aderis_ đã bình luận…
Buh bye bitches and hoes. (I am mandated to state that I do not actually think bạn are bitches hoặc hoes since apparently I am 'accidentally mean' a lot.) cách đây 2 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
I am thoroughly attacked. I started watching Sakamoto Desu Ga and this is such a direct parody of myself and my social experience in highschool that it hurts.

I have been parodized đã đăng cách đây 2 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
"DID pathologizes one of the coolest and amazing ways of exploring your mind"

Yeah, its so cool to have a personality that regularly gets in the way of your interpersonal relationships, one that is actively suicidal and distorted horribly with depression and trauma, and one that literally does nothing but belittle bạn and poke at your largest insecurities.

Its very cool and very fun and very amazing. đã đăng cách đây 3 tháng
Lusamine đã bình luận…
Anybody who romanticizes mental illness is an absolute tool. cách đây 3 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
Pfft right? cách đây 2 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
Imma stream at about 2 PM PST (1.5 hours from this point) if bạn guys are interested. đã đăng cách đây 3 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
Ya know I honestly sometimes get a bit blown away when I think about the people that have claimed that I've helped them both online and offline. Often I don't really consider myself all that great and like... just kind of a pain in the đít, mông, ass of burden with how much baggage I can carry with me as someone to get to know, but then I have to double take and I realize I've really helped a good few people and it just sometimes doesn't sound real to be honest đã đăng cách đây 3 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
Like if there was an alternate reality where I never existed, so many lives could have been different and worse and I really don't like to toot my own horn and I really don't mean to since I'm just kind of shocked and find it a bit hard to digest cách đây 3 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
I dunno, its just hard for me to bọc my head around the idea that I am ACTUALLY a good person thêm than anything. cách đây 3 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
Like... I'm not a BAD person, but the idea that I am "not a good person" has been a bit of a well known "fact" of my identity for a while that its just kind of hard for me to like be like??? I've helped people??? And I'm kind of caring??? Even when all the evidence shows that I do care about people and have done a lot thêm than I am required to do cách đây 3 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
And its like???? Wow??? cách đây 3 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
Media depiction of DID

Alter: We gotta kidnap and kill them. I want to kill everyone. Stab them - Imma take over and kill them

Reality

Me: Maybe I should have a bit of soda with this popcorn

Lucille: I want tea.

Me: I am not walking out in the rain again to get tea. bạn can come out and make trà if bạn really want it đã đăng cách đây 3 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
Admittedly, this is like XD There is a lot of work and shit that goes into it, but like XD Its just a meme I had like three giây cách đây :v cách đây 3 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
FYI Lucille is a trà addict cách đây 3 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
Randomly being able to hear your suicidal alter having some sort of an episode is hard shit. Like, its not emotions and feelings and thoughts that I myself feel like are my own and it is fine, but just constantly hearing "I am so tired of being alive. I am so tired of this existence." and so on and so forth is just... its not easy.

I'd get like "Oh I think shes done and I managed to relax" and then another line will whisper out of no where and itd be square one again. đã đăng cách đây 3 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
I'm just kind of waiting for it to pass and for her to go back to being silent. It kind of sucks because I really can't communicate back so I'm just kind of sitting here listening to it randomly appear cách đây 3 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
xin chào dudes, for Mental Health Awareness tháng I might try to post a few versions of DID các câu hỏi and answer them myself and IF any of my alters come out and are willing to add their thoughts Ill let them :v đã đăng cách đây 3 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
Public Service Announcement Kiddos

Take your medication. đã đăng cách đây 3 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
GUYS ITS ALMOST MAY

MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS MONTH

Maybe Ill do something XD đã đăng cách đây 4 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
It is a good feeling when your old friend bạn had a bit of a really problematic friendship with messages back giving proper closure to the friendship's end and apologizing for some of the behavior in the time and ya know.

As someone who had a lot of codependent Những người bạn left hanging, its a good feeling man. :feelsgoodman: đã đăng cách đây 4 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
Imma ramble about some just ngẫu nhiên DID stuff I've been thinking about lately and its nothing important so dont bother too much with this unless bạn are reaaaaallly bored but anyways here I go đã đăng cách đây 4 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
So like, there is this thing that apparently a lot of people with DID have that I know I KINDA have and that I USED To have back when I thought I just had an overactive imagination and what not called "inner worlds" where the alters can manifest and occasionally interact and what not and sometimes they are actually kinda like big environments and what not cách đây 4 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
Also since I KNOW at least one of them checks my fanpop when he is out sometimes, yes this is at bạn :v :v :v Fight me and don't use my account to redact hoặc revise what I am saying here :v this is completely valid for me to post on here :v cách đây 4 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
inb4 he doesnt front anytime soon and this post just gets Mất tích in time cách đây 4 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
Oh xin chào dude! I have a hàng đầu, đầu trang Contributor thing now on my club's trang chủ page! Thats actually pretty cool XD đã đăng cách đây 4 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
Its kind of nice being trang chủ and what not. I get some good time with my fiance and I can kind of relax and pull the breaks a bit. Its pretty good - được trao my middle sister isnt also trang chủ đã đăng cách đây 5 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
bạn know a lot of bạn guys are actually like a genuine family to me thêm than yall probably think bạn all probably think XD

Cause "Riku" is actually a personality that is of a system that didn't exist - hoặc at least didn't firmly chẻ, phân chia, split / solidify - before fanpop existed. I'm really an existence that was 'born' here and figured herself out on here so a lot of me quickly kind of 'grew up' and 'developed' around bạn guys like one would with family đã đăng cách đây 5 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
Google: Did I really recover from my depression hoặc did I just dissociate from it? đã đăng cách đây 5 tháng
2ntyOnePilots đã bình luận…
Ohhhh man. Relatable cách đây 5 tháng
2ntyOnePilots đã đưa ý kiến …
Ok so... I hav3 a câu hỏi that may seem ignorant, but truth is I just can’t remember most o& the distinguished details. What ways are Borderline Personality Disorder and Dissociative Identity Disorder different? đã đăng cách đây 5 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
As someone who technically has both (one of my alters is BPD where as I myself is debatable on it) I can explain XD cách đây 5 tháng
2ntyOnePilots đã bình luận…
Ok thx sm. That’s so interestin. (Sounding like my mum but fuck it lol) a Definitely clears it up cách đây 5 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
Aye drop bởi any các câu hỏi XD cách đây 5 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
;-; Headache and fatigue for two days in a row ;-; đã đăng cách đây 5 tháng
2ntyOnePilots đã bình luận…
Awe man, I feel that. Get some rest + take care. ❤️ cách đây 5 tháng
GDragon612 đã bình luận…
all the best for bạn ma Rikubun, take care and get well soon!! cách đây 5 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
I lowkey tình yêu that the ngày I go to screening with Neurology to make sure there is no physiological reasons I have memory and identity issues is Dissociative Identity Disorder Awareness Day

The ngày my diagnosis will be pretty solid XD đã đăng cách đây 5 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
Inb4 "Oh looks like bạn just have a brain tumor" cách đây 5 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
Update: Yeah I am physiologically solid so its probably just dissociation. Big shock XD cách đây 5 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
Honestly if any of bạn guys have any các câu hỏi on DID I am good for answering. XD I appreciate các câu hỏi đã đăng cách đây 6 tháng
2ntyOnePilots đã bình luận…
I have a question. Did bạn ever finish the bài viết bạn wrote, and where might I find it? LOL – Liên minh huyền thoại cách đây 5 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
I got it MOST ways done but got distracted XD I need to finish it its still on my danh sách of things to do but man my mental health has been taking up a lot of time XD cách đây 5 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
I am actually getting into the nit and gritty stuff of DID and its quite interesting and very tiresome XD cách đây 5 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
One of these I should work on explaining just how important and why Akashi is such a big thing for all of us. đã đăng cách đây 6 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
Also still happy I get to train Lefteris in the way of Kuroko no Basket. Soon there will be someone caught up enough to understand my lord and savior Akashi Seijurrou đã đăng cách đây 6 tháng
Economnomnomics đã bình luận…
Glad to see someone joining the cult. How could bạn forget about me, Riku. cách đây 5 tháng
Economnomnomics đã bình luận…
Just because I'm inactive doesn’t mean I'm dead 😵💀 cách đây 5 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
Man I had a four ngày weekend but dude I still have a lot of stuff to get done đã đăng cách đây 6 tháng
2ntyOnePilots đã bình luận…
^ cách đây 6 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
There are pretty much like three ways to know when Im MAJORLY dissociating and possibly switching personalities

1) A LOT of face touching. If Im rubbing my face a lot and/or blinking heavily, Im probably dissociating and its habitual touching in attempt to like "clear my eyes" and focus in

2) I không gian out into absolutely no where

3) I lower my head into my hands hoặc arms hoặc away from sight and towards the ground and take irregular breaths. đã đăng cách đây 6 tháng
TheLefteris24 đã bình luận…
I see. That is pretty interesting to know. Have been curious about the signs !!!! cách đây 6 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
Holy shit I just realized Ive been worshipping Akashi for like four hoặc five years now đã đăng cách đây 6 tháng
TheLefteris24 đã bình luận…
Happy 4th-5th Anniversary of Worshipping then !!!! cách đây 6 tháng
simrananime đã đưa ý kiến …
Joined^^ đã đăng cách đây 6 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
Aye sweet cách đây 6 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
My little boy bird is a big boy now ;-; I raised him since he was a chick and my mom caught him fucking one of the females XD Shes the one Im taking to college and have shipped him with for ages so like... Im not upset and its rather normal for birds especially during this season XD

But man hes a grown boy now. I remember when he was like... a centimeter big and just a little baby chick. đã đăng cách đây 6 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
That feeling when bạn were so dissociated for two to three months and constantly AT BEST half present that bạn THOUGHT bạn were fully present for some parts cause bạn forgot what it was like to be alone in your head / got used to it

Like for the first time probably since Ive come to college, its been just me - no Lucille hoặc Aderis - and HONESTLY it feels GOOD baby. đã đăng cách đây 6 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
Like.... when bạn have thêm than one present up in the front and are dissociated, bạn cant really get into life and do exactly what bạn want to do regularly. bạn cant REALLY perceive all your emotions hoặc your needs hoặc the world around bạn cause even if bạn are semi-present, its like there is an overload and bạn only get half of whats being picked up. bạn are kind of stuck at a skin deep level cách đây 6 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
Its so peaceful to just have a few days to myself for once and actually feel the world again and oh man. #FeelsGoodMan cách đây 6 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
Imma kick back and enjoy this weekend cách đây 6 tháng
TheLefteris24 đã bình luận…
Once again, I'm really happy to see bạn like this. As I said, make the most of this feeling, Rikubun !!!! cách đây 6 tháng
heart
GDragon612 đã đưa ý kiến …
Party finally Rikubun got the 100
btw thanks to Nomy yeah!!!
opens a huge bottle of champaigne and Juice
throwe confetti
drunk now xD
Party hard =D

congrats ma Rikubun💗 đã đăng cách đây 6 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
Thanks XD cách đây 6 tháng
GDragon612 đã bình luận…
ya welcome XD cách đây 6 tháng
GDragon612 đã bình luận…
throws cách đây 6 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
"I honestly just see myself thêm of a character than anything else. To be honest, I learned most of my actions and who I am from anime characters that I liked." ~ Me like.... three hoặc four years ago

Still honestly not inaccurate, but the degree I saw myself a vessel to write and create a story in rather than to live in was interesting. I wouldn't go and say I dont view it that way anymore, but its much less severe if bạn were to ask me. đã đăng cách đây 6 tháng
heart
GDragon612 đã đưa ý kiến …
just one thêm người hâm mộ then bạn got 100 fans
then I open a champaigne yeah(for non alcoholics nước ép, nước trái cây =3) đã đăng cách đây 6 tháng
GDragon612 đã bình luận…
hwaiting*-*<3 cách đây 6 tháng
GDragon612 đã bình luận…
will open<<< cách đây 6 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
NOMY MADE THE 100! HALELLUJAH cách đây 6 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
MY FIANCE đã đưa ý kiến I CAN MAKE HIM WATCH KNB WHEN WE ARE LIVING TOGETHER YAS đã đăng cách đây 6 tháng
TheLefteris24 đã bình luận…
Yeee! One thêm person has been added to the KnB Gang !!!! cách đây 6 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
Me: Man I never write các bài viết anymore. I still have like three hoặc four half completed các bài viết to do. Im so lazy man. Why am I always so tired and not in the mood for nghề viết văn and explaining things when I remind myself of my articles?

Me: *working on a website to build and explain an entire fictional world with races and classes and cities and functions* *writes easily over a thousand hoặc two on the website whenever shes bored enough to do it*

Me: Man I never write. đã đăng cách đây 6 tháng
Lusamine đã đưa ý kiến …
Joined! đã đăng cách đây 6 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
Welcome! cách đây 6 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
Im still upset Ill never be able to be someones gay boyfriend đã đăng cách đây 6 tháng
Lusamine đã bình luận…
I know, I was sad too. cách đây 6 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
;-; cách đây 6 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
Sometimes I wish I had someone to look up to tbh. Someone to take guidance off of. Someone who I am impressed so thoroughly bởi that they serve as an inspiration. But alas, it turns out I am stuck bởi myself. I have to generate goals and admiration from myself within myself. I have to generate the drive and inspiration and will entirely on my own.

Its not horrible. It makes me independent

But sometimes having the safety net so bạn can take a break once and a while would be great đã đăng cách đây 7 tháng
TheLefteris24 đã bình luận…
Isn't there though? At least those who have contributed their fair share of inspiration over the years. Maybe not a complete Role Model through Life (A lot really have a hard time finding something like this and might also be not be the best option depending on one's selection) but the experiences taught through them and the examples bạn have taken can be valuable nonetheless. Regardless of being Family hoặc Friends, irl People hoặc Fictional, etc. I have noticed that they could have an impact in a person's jouney. Something that I can relate with myself !!!! cách đây 7 tháng
TheLefteris24 đã bình luận…
That being said, it is apparent that your progress so far is mainly because of yourself. No one else could define it. Your very own driving force that pushed bạn towards Improvement. It is something to be truly admired and a reason why many others look up to bạn and seek for your guidance themselves. Something to take great Pride in !!!! cách đây 7 tháng
TheLefteris24 đã bình luận…
^ As excessively Optimistic I might be coming across, that is my Hope. A pure one and I find it to be worthy holding on to it in your case. Just letting that be known !!!! cách đây 7 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
“I wonder since when, I started yawning as I left my trang chủ for a match. I wonder since when I stopped feeling anything even when we won. The person who can win against me is me alone. But all I wanted was an opponent that I could go all out against. I've always wished for a tight game in which bạn couldn't tell if you'd win hoặc lose...I am grateful to bạn Tetsu." ~ Daiki Aomine đã đăng cách đây 7 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
" *in meh mood* .... lets eat bắp rang bơ, bỏng ngô and soda"

"You know we literally just agreed and decided wed lean back towards trà and trái cây since drinking things that do not excite the brain and fuels the body with HEALTHY stuff will actually almost factually pick up our mood right? Get some trái cây and tea"

".....popcorn and soda" đã đăng cách đây 7 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
Im not living am I? đã đăng cách đây 7 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
Man I havent đã đăng on here in a while. Its... been a week. XD Chaos man. Tiresome. đã đăng cách đây 7 tháng
TheLefteris24 đã bình luận…
Relatable XD !!!! cách đây 7 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
Im in tình yêu đã đăng cách đây 7 tháng
GDragon612 đã bình luận…
with your boyfriend hoặc your birds Rikubun <3 cách đây 7 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
Birds, boyfriend (fiance), and Akashi XDD cách đây 7 tháng
TheLefteris24 đã bình luận…
#TripleLove !!!! cách đây 7 tháng
TheLefteris24 đã bình luận…
The Holy Trinity of Riku's Obsessions !!!! cách đây 7 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
...... can someone tell my lungs how to breathe? đã đăng cách đây 7 tháng
TheLefteris24 đã bình luận…
link cách đây 7 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
MY LUNGS DONT WORK đã đăng cách đây 7 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
Personally, I identify thêm masculine than feminine and typically want to be and identify with thêm male / masculine things. I actually never wanted to be a girlfriend when I was younger. I hated the idea of being a GIRLfriend. I was 100% alright with being a boyfriend but the term girlfriend just grossed me out and Im still not a HUGE người hâm mộ of it but Im used to it so I dont mind XD đã đăng cách đây 7 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
Theres the whole thing about wanting to be a prince and my style and all. There was even a point in my life / time when I wanted to look as masculine as possible and a bit of dysphoria but that all went away when I really stopped bothering with gender. cách đây 7 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
I got overwhelmed and tired with all the gender culture and decided I was just going to be me and not do anything to my body that could harm it including binding my boobs cause once bạn get past 38D its really not an toàn, két an toàn to bind cách đây 7 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
Plus I like my tits and my fiance likes my tits so... cách đây 7 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
“I wish we met before they convinced bạn life is war.” đã đăng cách đây 7 tháng
TheLefteris24 đã bình luận…
Relatable !!!! cách đây 7 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
Ah man. I was not ready to go back to college to be honest. Ill probably be better once I get back into academia and get fed the drug of constant work but ugh. đã đăng cách đây 7 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
I have a cheese addiction tbh đã đăng cách đây 7 tháng
Zeppie đã bình luận…
As I'm munching through a handful of grated phô mai mozzarella I find this relatable v: cách đây 7 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
^^ cách đây 7 tháng
JetBlack__ đã đưa ý kiến …
Riku didn’t post in 24 hours !!
call 911 đã đăng cách đây 7 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
XD Im alright man XD cách đây 7 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
Me: I didnt take my meds yet. Dont forget. Yeah just after I find some good âm nhạc to listen to.

"Honestly sometimes don't bạn think it would be easier to play the roll of broken, edgy, depressed, and unhealthy drug lord hoặc something than this high standing skilled academic and mental health caring scholar? It would be so easy to maintain that and we'd just have to stop trying with everything. Wouldn't that be fu-"

Me: Okay time to take medication. đã đăng cách đây 7 tháng
2ntyOnePilots đã bình luận…
Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee cách đây 6 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
i cant sleep cos i cant stop imagining things and scenarios :vv ;-; đã đăng cách đây 7 tháng
JetBlack__ đã bình luận…
It's alright Riku it is all temporary,it's over now.you okay.. back to awesome Riku kicking life shit. cách đây 7 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
XD Its fine XD Its just lowkey nostalgic cách đây 7 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
Me: I am not that bad of a maladaptive daydreamer

Me: *organizes a DnD group*

Me: *literally can not stop knocking out into obsessive character planning and background forming and Daydreaming up different potential characters legit for the tiếp theo 12 hours straight including while go kart racing to which Im shocked I didnt crash* đã đăng cách đây 7 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
Stream might be delayed due to DMV stuff đã đăng cách đây 7 tháng
BlueDopamine đã bình luận…
ok, Anna cách đây 7 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
:vv Dont call me bởi my first name cách đây 7 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
It makes me uncomfortable XD Not cause its online but for other reasons I dont wanna go into XD cách đây 7 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
hoặc well real name I suppose XD cách đây 7 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
ANYWAYS. I finally get to take my drivers test after annoying delays twice and a ngẫu nhiên appointment cancellation that the DMV didnt tell us about XD All the delays pretty much have me at the end of my learners permit though XD So I need to pass this hoặc Ill have to start from square one again XD

But I think Ill do fine probably. I mean I am not the best driver and personally I wouldn't drive if I didn't have to cause of my dissociation, but Im somehow better than đã đăng cách đây 7 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
my older sister according to my mom and she has a license so... I think Ill do fine. XD cách đây 7 tháng
Rihanna312 đã bình luận…
Welp, this is the third năm when I`m postponing getting a license. Mostly because I don`t feel the need for it. But if bạn have the reason and need it, I`m sure you`ll do good on the test! cách đây 7 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
But yeah I would have passed since my driving was stellar but not noticing it was a yield left was an instant fail cách đây 7 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
Ah man its bird fucking season it seems XD My birds keep trying to fuck đã đăng cách đây 7 tháng
JetBlack__ đã bình luận…
That’s disturbing yet cute xD cách đây 7 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
.... on another note I just realized I am 18 and have been living for the past few months with the self pressure as if I was like 21-24 đã đăng cách đây 7 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
Like my mom reminded my dad I was turning 19 and I was like "HOLY SHIT WAIT IM 18 WHAT THE HECK IM DOING JUST FINE. WHY AM I TREATING MYSELF LIKE IM WAY BEHIND?!?!" XD cách đây 7 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
With that being said, I am not going to change the working speed and rate I am working at :v I want to get everything done as fast as possible but man I shoulda cut myself some slack XD cách đây 7 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
"There is no victory for the passive" đã đăng cách đây 7 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
I wanted to do something when I got back but now House is hallucinating a person and it reminds me too much of personal shit so Im hooked XD đã đăng cách đây 7 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
Fresh Owari no Seraph thông tin các nhân đã đăng cách đây 7 tháng
Shukuya đã bình luận…
Looks cool! cách đây 7 tháng
TheLefteris24 đã bình luận…
Noice. Looks pretty neat !!!! cách đây 7 tháng
JetBlack__ đã bình luận…
It’s perfect. cách đây 7 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
Me: *gets into the car and sees fiance's áo khoác in the backseat and put it on*

Him: You? Cold? Who are you?

Me: Nah, I just miss your jacket

*twenty phút later*

Me: Actually I was a bit chilly but I did really mainly want it cos I missed it.

Him: I know, bạn just have to be big strong girl that doesnt get cold

Me: >.> Shut up. đã đăng cách đây 7 tháng
TheLefteris24 đã bình luận…
After all these, anyone who still can't see bạn being a Tsundere simply knows nothing XD !!!! cách đây 7 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
YES I AM STILL THE Queen OF MEDIATING AND ARGUMENT CLEAN UP!

Managed to simultaneously

-Keep my sisters fiance from having to deal with my family's bs arguments
-Made sure my sister was alright the ngày before leaving
-Made sure my mom understood where my sister was coming from
-Made sure my mom was alright with how she left my sister
-Made sure everyone was at least neutral
-Ended the drama
-Explained my 'disowning' of my middle sister
-Everyone is alright đã đăng cách đây 8 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
Oh on that note, my middle sister I blantantly let it be known Im done trying with her and I am going to need to see her change and get her act together before I start trying again cos I got tired being let down on us getting along and her being nice and respectful to my existence cách đây 8 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
I honestly cant hate her, but its not good for me to keep trying to be nice and get along cause Ill be sucked dry and left used if I keep trying when she isnt. cách đây 8 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
A bit of appreciation, but I honestly tình yêu my fiance. The thêm I think about it, the thêm of a rare human that probably has like a 0.01% chance of existing that fits my tastes in people, quirky interests, patient, capable, and understanding enough of my mental health bullshit, and everything to somehow find me and care / like me enough to make me give them a chance even after I tore them apart. đã đăng cách đây 8 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
Like... being in my tastes and being someone Im willing to spend time around IRL is like.... a one in a millionth shot (not really but its pretty rare) cách đây 8 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
Then just multiplying the rarity of everything else... cách đây 8 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
Im just lucky to have him cách đây 8 tháng
Zeppie đã bình luận…
So sweet ❤ cách đây 7 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
I swear Ill get back to Hakuoki eventually XD

Im currently bouncing around a few other games though since there are some good sales on thigns I want

Currently doing Jurassic World: Evolution and then Devil May Cry 1 after. If I like Devil May Cry 1 I might get thêm of the series in the future but I dunno đã đăng cách đây 8 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
Dude, I found a clear definitive hole in my memory. My sister's fiance's sister apparently was like... best Những người bạn with me in elementary school and APPARENTLY I was teased a lot hoặc something like that and she asked about me when my sister met her and I honest to god dont recognize her much at all if at all.

I was a biiit skeptical that it was overexaggerating but legit found pictures of me hugging her as a kid so??? đã đăng cách đây 8 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
And I was in the same school as her for three years at the very least and she is somehow entirely absent from all my memories? I mean thats not shocking because I dont remember much from elementary school but I did make a hell of a hard job remembering the general story including Những người bạn of mine at the time. cách đây 8 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
I remember some of my other Những người bạn at the time Im pretty sure...??? So its weird but the photographs dont lie... .-. cách đây 8 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
Legit my first PROOF backed Mất tích memory and its kinda..... odd?? cách đây 8 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
Bruh solid giáng sinh this year. đã đăng cách đây 8 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
>.> Starting to get to that "hating break" mood cause Im running out of things to keep my mind stimulated đã đăng cách đây 8 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
I honestly hate wasting time cách đây 8 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
I hate being stressed out about wasting time especially on vacations because I know its irrational but I cant. cách đây 8 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
Im honestly kind of jealous of people who can comfortably do nothing with their time may it be on vacations hoặc not cách đây 8 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
xin chào guys I'm not dead I swear đã đăng cách đây 8 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
Aye guess who is officially engaged now? đã đăng cách đây 8 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
Might stream tomorrow at 12 PM PST Kingdom Hearts 1 with my boyfriend. Might not, still considering it đã đăng cách đây 8 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
Nah decided against streaming btw XD Figured itd be thêm fun just to chill with my boi cách đây 8 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
Since I dont really have the ability to remember my moods for thêm than two weeks and it screws up a lot of my psychiatry các diễn đàn and all, I am going to now keep a mood log to keep track of how I feel so I can thêm accurately báo cáo it đã đăng cách đây 8 tháng
TheLefteris24 đã bình luận…
^ That is a really nice idea !!!! cách đây 8 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
I might be kind of between fragments hoặc something because I am feeling two extremely polar emotions at the same time that shouldn't be able to coexist at the extent that they are and because I can't respond to really interesting fanpop ngẫu nhiên các câu hỏi because I cant come up with any consistent ideas so my sense of identity is probably obscure and messed up even though I dont notice it. đã đăng cách đây 8 tháng
TheLefteris24 đã bình luận…
^ Relatable in a way. Have been similarly felt confused about some of them myself !!!! cách đây 8 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
SAIX DESERVES thêm tình yêu đã đăng cách đây 8 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
Its a bit shocking that I am still a good bit affected / bothered bởi my first major codependent break up. I've mostly moved on and I dont have breakdowns over it every other week like I did two years cách đây and I don't compulsively stalk unless "triggered" and thus there is like a REALLY small one in comparison to before

BUT Id be lying if I đã đưa ý kiến I wasn't still held back and occasionally bothered bởi it. There are some things that can "trigger" small little moments to which đã đăng cách đây 8 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
I recover from rather fast cách đây 8 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
Its almost four years passed at this point I believe cách đây 8 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
bởi the way stream this week is canceled due to my schedule combined with other people's schedules đã đăng cách đây 8 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
*sigh* Its hard to convince myself to sleep cause my brains oddly on edge over the session earlier today and the fact I gotta ride Uber to the airport which Ive always been paranoid about đã đăng cách đây 8 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
Not like horrifically but enough that Im resistant to sleep out of discomfort cách đây 8 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
Tfw bạn have to talk with your therapist over why something bạn know is irrational is irrational because your brain doesnt always listen to ration and bạn just sit there like "Fuck man, now we look dramatic because bạn were freaking out over something I told bạn was irrational and pointless and potentially unhealthy." đã đăng cách đây 8 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
And then him pointing out the fact I over prepare and over plan for the worst to the point its kinda bad with how it takes a lot of the fun and excitement out of life and then Im like ":vvvv Dont bring me into this :vv Im just trying to protect us :v We might get caught off guard if we dont know whats going on :vv" cách đây 8 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
.... I really clearly dissociate myself in therapy dont I? cách đây 8 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
I dont really mean dissociate in like... the experience of dissociation, but the way I talk about myself and my issues in therapy REALLY sounds like Im REALLY chẻ, phân chia, split and like "pfft thats not me" when it fucking is ya hoe. Like its not THAT apparently until I talk about my emotions and way of doing things cách đây 8 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
Also I gotta stop talking in first person plural so much. XD hoặc maybe not, cause it might be something I should stop restricting myself on. I dunno. Im curious what psychiatry will say when I go to it on the topic. And after I get MRI scans and shit on my brain so I can make sure its not like some tumor hoặc anything that might be causing the memory issues and stuff just so they can go through the procedure of diagnosing shit cách đây 8 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
TFW bạn lazily and casually take the ECON practice exam that is 20 các câu hỏi longer than the one bạn will take today and get an 96% on it with a little over 40 phút to spare when bạn really didnt do anything other than Chem and a little bit of Animal Science for about a week đã đăng cách đây 8 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
Honestly I kind of doubt when I say I have extremely fragmented personalities because a good 90% of the time I currently feel really like... single. I dont mean dating wise, but like... I feel like Im the only one up in my head and Im like "Nah I must have faked it before" but I vaguely remember having way too indepth discussions with "thoughts" that had extremely different opinions and voices in my head and my boyfriend claims hes seen it in my eyes / body when I claimed to be Aderis so.. đã đăng cách đây 8 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
Lately its only when Im really stressed / threatened that I hear anything in my mental không gian - either that hoặc briefly when something 'stimulates' one of them I guess cách đây 8 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
I think I got Chem down XD I mean I learned the majority of it in the last two days cause I was on a good track for the first half of the quarter then the fires came and ruined my momentum XD

But its still pretty good. I hear the teacher curves the class two letter grades and I only need a 30% I think then? Which I know I can pull off. Plus I feel like I might know it better than a good chunk of people? đã đăng cách đây 8 tháng
Riku114 đã đưa ý kiến …
Yo hearing your oldest sister be like "Yeah, I didn't really care that bạn were thêm attached to him than me, I was just glad there was someone else helping out because I could barely keep bạn alive since there is only so much a sister could do."

Well geee.

I mean I remember being bad but not that bad :v đã đăng cách đây 8 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
But then again I dont really remember XD At least people being really up front with how close I seemed to be to offing myself gives me validation that I really was depressed at some point like my sparknotes of my own life says :v cách đây 8 tháng
Riku114 đã bình luận…
Lowkey kinda wanna go back and experience again just to see how bad I really was but I think Id regret that five giây in cách đây 8 tháng
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I don't really have a good sense of when Im pushing myself too hard to be entirely honest. Usually I end up pushing myself and pushing myself unaware of the toll its having hoặc only minimal awareness of it to the point I feel like I can do a lot thêm then I just suddenly snap / break / crack and am forced to stop

Its something I am working on and I only really stopped studying (out of boredom) cause I took a short rbeak to call my boyfriend and he told me to take a break đã đăng cách đây 8 tháng
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Turns out Im kinda feeling how exhausted I was after taking about an giờ break XD cách đây 8 tháng
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Same kinda goes with most internal feelings, may it be hunger, exhaustion, and sometimes even just flat out pain. Im really bad at recognizing it until Im barely functioning and at that point it tends to be too late :v But Im working on it and try to listen when someone I know that can read me and that I trust tells me to take a break cos I know some people are better at telling when Im worn down than I am XD cách đây 8 tháng
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Man going through your tumblr (a place bạn only ranted on when REALLY bad and not really wanting people to know) and specifically go back to the rants cause bạn know bạn had a tag for them

"I WANT TO DISSOCIATE. I WANT ADERIS. I DON’T WANT TO FEEL hoặc BE HERE." đã đăng cách đây 8 tháng
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[Hashtags so I could find the post if need be] #I Hate That Ive Been Stopping With My Dissociation #I Want It Back #I Dont Want To Be Here #I Dont Want To Feel For Now #If I Had To Give The Personality To Her #I Would #I Want Someone Else To Protect Me #I Want Someone Else To Handle The Stress #I Dont Want To Be The One To Take This Bullcrap #I Want Someone Who Doesnt Judge Herself #I Want Someone Who Can Say 'Fuck bạn And Fuck It' #I Want Someone Narcissistic And Egotistical #Just Not Me cách đây 8 tháng
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April 4th 2018 apparently. I wish I knew what happened that ngày XD cách đây 8 tháng
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tfw bạn went to the nearby campus market to get thêm Icebreakers, forget, buy a soda and Ramune for the stream, then half an giờ after bạn come back bạn just go "shit I dont have any icebreakers" đã đăng cách đây 8 tháng
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"Yeah, youre probably right. [...] Were probably all insane.. broken. But whose fault is that!? The adults are the ones who broke us! bạn want to hear the truth? .. We're scared" ~Nagisa Shingetsu (DRAE) đã đăng cách đây 8 tháng