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added by sideshowbobbart
23
1.    Unplug the refrigerator.
2.    Turn the lò nướng on.
3.    Rearrange the furniture. (Turn a bedroom into a dining room, and vice versa.)
4.    Hide the remote.
5.    Hide the television.
6.    Hide the pets.
7.    Change the answering machine message.
8.    Turn off the answering machine.
9.    Change the speed dial numbers.
10.    Change the alarm clock time to twelve hours earlier.
11.    Add...
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Here are my danh sách of corny jokes. Now i'm just gonna let bạn know now i got alot of these from the Youtube channel, vlogbrothers. So check them out too. Prepare to laugh.
(Make sure your not drinking anything hoặc eating anything bạn might spit it hoặc something.)

#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.

#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)

#3 Why was the cây chổi, chổi late to work?
It overswept!

#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the vịnh, bay they'd be bagels.

#5 What's Michelle Obama's favorite...
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1: watch an anime series bạn think will be cool

2:gymnastics XD idk why but I do flips a l a lot so yeah

3: torcher some one ex: brother sister cousin friend ect.

4:run around for no absolute reason

5:do Insanity, p90X, ZUMBA so on

6: read a book

7:go to the store and freak people out until bạn get kicked out

8: be completely ngẫu nhiên to the people around you.

9:listen to artists bạn hate a lot and make fun of them

10: be a Watch All Of Jeresy bờ biển for no complete reason
1.Try to climb through all the rooms in your trang chủ without touching the floor
2.Find undiscovered tribes using Google Earth
3.Shave your pets
4.Knock down all the interior walls of your home, creating one large empty space. Once done, sit in the middle of the giant room and contemplate your life
5.Start a free blog on WordPress hoặc Blogger and tell the world about all your weird and dirty secrets
6.Email an ex girlfriend hoặc boyfriend and apologize for hurting them even though it’s a complete lie (just do it for shits and giggles)
7.Read a book. Use your time to learn something, for God’s...
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posted by mercedes_xoxoxo
24
1. Walk into the classroom like a super spy. (keep your back on the walls as bạn walk, point your finger up like a gun, look around with shifty eyes, hum the mission impossible theme, etc.)

2. After everything your teacher says, ask why.

3. If your teacher is yelling at a classmate, wait for them to finish their tantrum then ask” DOES SOMEBODY NEED A HUG?????” very loudly.

4. If your teacher starts blowing up at bạn for saying that simply reply “Wow, I can tell you’re a blast at parties”

5. Dress up like l (Death Note) and walk in with no shoes.

6. If your teacher asks “why aren’t...
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posted by stickymonkey
9
1. Try to start a wave

2. Gasp every time there is a swear word.

3. Wear a huge Afro wig.

4. Every 15 phút stand up and then sit back down.

5. Yell out to the screen “Don’t Do It!”

6. If there is a tình yêu scene, reach over in front of bạn and cover a ngẫu nhiên person’s eyes.

7. Stand in front of the screen motionless and face the audience the entire movie.

8. Scalp tickets outside the theater.

9. If a catchy song plays in the movie stand up and dance.

10. Bring an attachable seat-belt. Strap it to your ghế, chỗ ngồi and then clip it on yourself. Turn to the person tiếp theo to bạn and say, “you never know”....
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Dare

1. Prank call your best friend.

2. Run around the neighborhood screaming, "I tình yêu GAY PEOPLE!"

3. Ask your parents when they first had sex.

3. Pour mayo, ketchup, vinegar, and sugar and into a cup and drink the contents.

4. Sing the first song that comes to your head in your loudest voice.

5. Scream and say, "My water bottle broke!" (I did this and many people heard it as "my water broke lol)

6. Ask your crush out then dump him/her 5 mins later.

7. Whenever someone tries to explain something to bạn say, "Why don't bạn speak thêm clearly?"

8. Run around the house in your underwear. (Recommended...
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I'm a girl pervert!I say guys are crazy cuz they think I touch their butts!I blame it on their hormones even though I touched their butts alot!

1.Be a real pervert

2.You don't have to look like one but just act like one

3.Always when you're walking behind a guy always look at their butt!And say"say veiw" then touch it nice and gently! :)

4.They look back and ask bạn say'what?no way especially not your flat ass!!!!"when they turn around find another butt to look at!

5.Look at their muscles when they're wearing áo sơ mi sleeve shirts and they're doing heavy lifting

6.Take pictures as well

7.Always comment...
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posted by Lady10358
Found this on Google
1. If you're lucky enough and find someone with the shirt: FREE HUGS hoặc If bạn find a áo sơ mi store selling it, hug the shirt/person and if they/someone notices you, say "It says free hugs!"
2. go to the thực phẩm court and go to a fast thực phẩm place and take tons of straws and put as many possible in your mouth and stand on a bàn hát elmo's world theme.
3. Go to one of those toddler toy/clothing stores and hold up a baby outfit/toy and yell as loud as bạn can "I tình yêu THIS TOY! I'D PLAY WITH IT ngày AND NIGHT!"
4. Go to the bathroom and hide in a stall until bạn see an old lady/guy...
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posted by PartyOrange
8
 This is your new language.
This is your new language.
(This bài viết is a JOKE. It's not meant to be serious, so don't take it seriously.)

1.Watch hours of anime each day, every day.

2. Start wearing shirts/clothing that are written in Katakana.
(For eample: "Kawaii", "Neko", "Baka")

3. Always talk about how bạn want to be "Miku-Chan" when bạn get older.

4. On hàng đầu, đầu trang of that, always say "-chan,-san,-sama,-kun",etc...

5.If bạn have family refer to them as "onee-sama/chan and onii-sama/chan".

6. Listen to stereotypical Japanese pop music. (Cute, high-pitched voices with pop instrumentals)

7. Wear obnoxious anime-like outfits everywhere. (Bright-coloured, mix-matching,...
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1) Follow complete strangers around for 10 minutes, then speak into your cổ áo and say, "Harrold, we have a situation. Subject 367 is unresponsive. Code 163!"

2) When bạn get onto the elevator, laugh hysterically for 5 seconds, then glare at the other passengers as if they are crazy.

3)Run up the "down" escalators, shrieking hysterically, and when bạn reach the top, fall silent and glare at other shoppers as if they are crazy.

4) Approach a stranger in any Wal-Mart and hand them a thìa, cây dùi, spatula and say, with authority, "The future of the Earth depends on it." Abruptly turn around and walk away....
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
12
my friend sent me this text message a while cách đây and i thought it was hilarious!!!




i need to ask bạn somethingand i want bạn to be totally honest with me. it may be awkward between us after this but i have to kow how bạn feel... I've kept it in for a while now but now it's time to be straight up and just confront you. i hope this doesn't ruin anything we have, i just need to know and i dont see any other way i could get over this. it just doesn't seem fair if i dont gett an answer. i want bạn to tell me truthfully, please no matter how harsh it is. i just want your hoest opinion...

Pepsi hoặc Coke?



Ha ha ha ha !!!
Funny.
posted by greenday82
4
This is TOTALLY random...but here's the danh sách from the "Funny Words" group on Facebook. Feel free to add your own


Hullabaloo
Sponge
Idiopathic
Bobbin
Bamboo
Poppycock
Persnickety
Irked
Queer
Flabbergasted
Frippery
Befuddlement
Haberdashery
Diphthong
Britches
Scrumptious
Sassafras
Gadabouts
Bazooka
Cockamamie
Egad
Frumpy
Claptrap
Pooch
Sack
Sag
Baffled
Bubbles
Noodles
Flagellum
Blimp
Napkin
Jiggle
Discombobulate
Fallopian
Pants
Follicle
Box
Bladder
Spoon
Centipede
Indubitably
Banana
Igloo
Waddle
Wobble
Sludge
Briefs
Trump
Gristle
Sprout
Turnip
Gash
Sandals
Crunch
Turd
Gauze
Goon
Manhole
Cockamamie
Noddle
Pudding
Strudel
Rubbish
Duty
Guava
Smashing
Hunky
Inevitable...
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added by XxKeithHarkinxX
Source: Google
5
added by JenniferxD
Source: Jennifer
2
I just wanna say that I didn't wright this, I just reposted it. so I take on credit AT ALL

1. Take someone's shopping xe đẩy, giỏ hàng and switch the items with stuff from the person tiếp theo to them's cart
2. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen bạn in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment
3. Smash the person in front of bạn on the head with a ham
4. Go up to some old geezer & say "Grandpa!!! You're ALIVE!!! It's a MIRACLE!!! etc."
5. Take something from someone else's cart, when they say "hey, that's mine! " call the security and say that the other ... person...
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added by Usui--takumi
Source: Net
1
posted by Wolfdreamer9
10
1. I wish bạn were a door so I could slam bạn all day.

2. Nice legs...what time do they open?

3. Do bạn work for UPS? I thought I saw bạn checking out my package.

4. You've got 206 Bones in your body, want one more?

5. Can I buy bạn a drink hoặc do bạn just want the money?

6. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

7. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted giường Thrasher: have bạn seen one?

8. I'm fighting the urge to make bạn the happiest woman on earth tonight.

9. Want to play army? I'll lay down and bạn can blow the hell outta me.

10. I wish you...
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