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1) Follow complete strangers around for 10 minutes, then speak into your cổ áo and say, "Harrold, we have a situation. Subject 367 is unresponsive. Code 163!"

2) When bạn get onto the elevator, laugh hysterically for 5 seconds, then glare at the other passengers as if they are crazy.

3)Run up the "down" escalators, shrieking hysterically, and when bạn reach the top, fall silent and glare at other shoppers as if they are crazy.

4) Approach a stranger in any Wal-Mart and hand them a thìa, cây dùi, spatula and say, with authority, "The future of the Earth depends on it." Abruptly turn around and walk away....
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
12
my friend sent me this text message a while cách đây and i thought it was hilarious!!!




i need to ask bạn somethingand i want bạn to be totally honest with me. it may be awkward between us after this but i have to kow how bạn feel... I've kept it in for a while now but now it's time to be straight up and just confront you. i hope this doesn't ruin anything we have, i just need to know and i dont see any other way i could get over this. it just doesn't seem fair if i dont gett an answer. i want bạn to tell me truthfully, please no matter how harsh it is. i just want your hoest opinion...

Pepsi hoặc Coke?



Ha ha ha ha !!!
Funny.
posted by greenday82
4
This is TOTALLY random...but here's the danh sách from the "Funny Words" group on Facebook. Feel free to add your own


Hullabaloo
Sponge
Idiopathic
Bobbin
Bamboo
Poppycock
Persnickety
Irked
Queer
Flabbergasted
Frippery
Befuddlement
Haberdashery
Diphthong
Britches
Scrumptious
Sassafras
Gadabouts
Bazooka
Cockamamie
Egad
Frumpy
Claptrap
Pooch
Sack
Sag
Baffled
Bubbles
Noodles
Flagellum
Blimp
Napkin
Jiggle
Discombobulate
Fallopian
Pants
Follicle
Box
Bladder
Spoon
Centipede
Indubitably
Banana
Igloo
Waddle
Wobble
Sludge
Briefs
Trump
Gristle
Sprout
Turnip
Gash
Sandals
Crunch
Turd
Gauze
Goon
Manhole
Cockamamie
Noddle
Pudding
Strudel
Rubbish
Duty
Guava
Smashing
Hunky
Inevitable...
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added by XxKeithHarkinxX
Source: Google
5
added by JenniferxD
Source: Jennifer
2
I just wanna say that I didn't wright this, I just reposted it. so I take on credit AT ALL

1. Take someone's shopping xe đẩy, giỏ hàng and switch the items with stuff from the person tiếp theo to them's cart
2. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen bạn in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment
3. Smash the person in front of bạn on the head with a ham
4. Go up to some old geezer & say "Grandpa!!! You're ALIVE!!! It's a MIRACLE!!! etc."
5. Take something from someone else's cart, when they say "hey, that's mine! " call the security and say that the other ... person...
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added by Usui--takumi
Source: Net
1
posted by Wolfdreamer9
10
1. I wish bạn were a door so I could slam bạn all day.

2. Nice legs...what time do they open?

3. Do bạn work for UPS? I thought I saw bạn checking out my package.

4. You've got 206 Bones in your body, want one more?

5. Can I buy bạn a drink hoặc do bạn just want the money?

6. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

7. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted giường Thrasher: have bạn seen one?

8. I'm fighting the urge to make bạn the happiest woman on earth tonight.

9. Want to play army? I'll lay down and bạn can blow the hell outta me.

10. I wish you...
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1.I like pie

2.Blue isn't blue until blue turns blue and when blue turns blue it's possibly blue and when blue turns blue, blue is orange.

3.My cat can fly. I taught him to the other day.

4.Dog thực phẩm is a beautiful thing to watch when bạn are eating!

5.BLACK HEAD!!!!!!!!

6.Butterfly fly away, because I'm your biggest fan, and I got a feeling that you'll shine on like the Moonstone high at the end of time.

7.Heeeeeeeloo!

8. My name is Cow. I like purple. My name is purple. I like cows. In the end, the odds come together and we get out alive.

9. I'M IN HELL WHENEVER I'M AROUND POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!

10. Fartblossom!

11.Pip-pip cheerio! (In and English accent.)

12. Your face is disorted when bạn sleeeeeep.

13. Bye đã đưa ý kiến Santa while eating Blitzen.
added by SummerThunder
3
1. Walk up to them and ask them for their autographs.
2. Walk up to them, introduce yourself extremely upbeat and friendly-like and end the conversation bởi saying "It was nice to meet you. It's so cool to talk to people outside of the asylum." Then walk away.
3. While walking down the street, in a mall hoặc any other such place, laugh out loud for no apparent reason. Be as creative with the way bạn laugh as bạn wish.
4. Run up to them, excitedly calling them Father, Mother, Aunt hoặc Uncle. If bạn dare, hug them.
5. While passing a ngẫu nhiên stranger, stop and exclaim to them, "You have no idea!" in a...
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DEMENTED POEMS

hoa hồng are crap
Violets are shit
Sit on my face
And wiggle a bit

hoa hồng are stupid
Violets are silly
Grease up your flaps
Cuz here comes my willy

hoa hồng are awful
Violets are the pits
Lift up your shirt
And hiển thị me your tits

hoa hồng make me laugh
Violets make me titter
You're a dirty bitch
And bạn tình yêu it up the shitter

hoa hồng are straight
Violets are twisted
Bend over love
You're about to get fisted

hoa hồng are crap
Violets are wanky
Oooh I've just cum
Pass me a hanky

hoa hồng are red
It's elementary
Let's ring your best friend
And try double entry

hoa hồng are shit
Violets are crap
hiển thị me your clit
And I'll cum in your lap

hoa hồng are red
Skidmarks are brown
Give me a blow job
And nuốt, nhạn it down

hoa hồng are groovy
Violets are funky
I'm thinking of you
And spanking my monkey
added by XxKeithHarkinxX
Source: Google
8
posted by IsabellaMCullen
6
I didn't make this, I just found it...


1.Stick your open palm under the stall tường and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"

2.Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."

3.Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

4.Say, "Damn, this water's cold."

5.Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit! My glass eye!"

6.Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

7.Grunt and strain real loud for 30 giây and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.

8.Say, "Now how did that get there?"

9.Say, "Humus....
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added by emma-janee
34
added by legend_of_roxas
posted by Famegurl754
17
Aries: Trigon?
Reason: I think he is a good Aries. I'm not saying he was born onthat kind of day, I'm just saying this because I think it fit's him.

Taurus: Beast boy
Reason: he can some times be as MEAN as a bull, he can shape shift into any animal. Sometimes he's as sweet as a Mice, but then he's as mean as a bull.

Gemini: Mas y Menos
Reason: It's obvious, THE TWINS!! DUH!! I know Gemini's can be mysterious then happy but these to are probably Gemini's.

Cancer: Starfire
Reason: Cancer's are moody, so I'd say she's very moody sometimes, Starfire is very nice and caring.

Leo: Jericho
Reason: I know...
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We're all familiar with the term damsel in distress and we usually think about a female character that's tied to the train tracks bởi a villain with a curly-q mustache, and has to be saved bởi the dashing hero. I wonder where the idea first came from. We've always seen this with female characters because female damsels in distress have been around since the dawn of literature itself. However, during the mid hoặc late 1900's, we've discovered that there are male characters that have to constantly be saved as well. What's the term for male damsel's in distress? There isn't one, even though some people...
continue reading...
added by h2ogirl123
8
Nhật Bản Butt Gun Commercial!? (Not owned bởi me)
video
ngẫu nhiên
funny
weird
hilarious
crazy
stupid
various
added by SummerThunder
Source: Martz90