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posted by karpach_13
3
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!

Q: How can bạn tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
A: The cần điều khiển, phím điều khiển is wet.

Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her thêm attractive?
A: Her ankles.

Q: What do bạn say to a Blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."

Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
A1: Thanks Guys.
A2: Are bạn boys all in the same band?
A3: Do bạn guys all play for the Green vịnh, bay Packers?

Q: How do bạn make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: What does a screen door and a blonde...
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posted by MrssBieber320
4
Ever met that one person that bạn just wanna cú đấm in the face , then someohow , bạn end up in a relationship with them , bạn fall in tình yêu , and then watch things crash and burn in your face (and thats not the only thing bạn want to burn either (:]) Well if bạn still have feelings for that person im gonna help bạn get him/her back , note that this may only work for a girl though , cuause guys cant hit us , but we can surelly slap bạn guys (: , ohk so bạn could first start off bởi doing q of two simple things
1) light all the stuuf he gave bạn on ngọn lửa, chữa cháy ... on his front lawn
2) give them back to...
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posted by Shadowpenguin
2
Irk, a planet in the Xeno Galaxy, just north of Rigel 7, is trang chủ to a species of aliens known as the Irkens. Irkens are a somewhat small alien species with sensitive green skin, well-developed brains, and itchy trigger fingers. They have come to be known as many things including "Galactic Terrorists", "Scourge of the Galaxy", "Irken Mafia", "Dick Cheney Worshippers", "Alien Roach Farm", "The Green Communists", "Oppressors", "Ultra Right-Wing Bantha Fodder", "Republican Scum", and "Moronic Aliens Who Think That Watching Dubya Make An đít, mông, ass Of Himself On National ti vi Is thêm Entertaining...
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posted by Mallory101
1
 1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."
1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."
179 Ways to Annoy People:


1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

2. If bạn have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

3. Start each meal bởi conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

4. Name your dog "Dog."

5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what bạn think."

7. Claim that bạn must always wear a bicycle mũ bảo hiểm as part of your "astronaut training."

8. Follow a few paces behind someone,...
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bạn know you're a 'Furry Fan' when...
Rabies replaces cancer as your number one disease concern.
Your yêu thích character from ngôi sao Trek is Lieutenant M'Ress (from the animated series).
You think "Beauty and the Beast" was spoiled bởi Beast becoming human.
You replace Elle McPherson pinups with those of Amy the Squirrel, Erma Felna, hoặc Minerva Mink.
You slip the word 'fur' into as many places as possible in your mail.
You can identify a captionless book illustration as being Doug Wingers' in under ten seconds.
None of your yêu thích female (or male) fiction characters are actually human.
You go...
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posted by meow_girl
3
*One night,Selena,Demi and Taylor were having a concert.And Miley was there for some reason.*

In the middle of true Những người bạn Joe Jonas ran on stage,knocked the đàn ghi ta, guitar player (Billy cá đuối, ray Cyrus) off the stage,Breaking his leg.

Miley:That was my dad!You ass!

Joe:Yeah no one cares.Demi,Selena,Taylor I tình yêu bạn all!

Miley:What about me?

Joe:What about bạn man whore?

Miley:I'm a girl!

Joe:That's not what your boyfriend said!

Miley:At least I'm not pregnant like you!

Joe:Those were just rumors!!!

Selena:Suuuuuure...

Joe:They were!

All:Riiiiiiiiiight......

Simon:I don't believe you!

Demi:Simon Cowell?What are you...
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posted by Dippicus
2
Lucy and Linus (who where brother and sister) had another little brother named Rerun. (He sometimes played left-field on Charlie Brown's baseball team, [when he could find it!]).

The pancreas produces Insulin.

1 in 5,000 north Atlantic lobsters are born bright blue.

There are 10 human body parts that are only 3 letters long (eye hip arm leg ear toe jaw rib lip gum).

A skunk's smell can be detected bởi a human a mile away.

The word "lethologica" describes the state of not being able to remember the word bạn want.

The king of hearts is the only king without a moustache.

Henry Ford produced the...
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posted by prettystar
11
Hi Mommy!
I am only 3/4 of an inch long,
But I have all my organs.
I tình yêu the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it,
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your tim, trái tim beat
Is my yêu thích lullaby.

Month Two.

Mommy,
Today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If bạn could see me
You could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my trang chủ though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three.

You know what Mommy,
I'm a boy!
I hope that makes bạn happy.
I always want bạn to be happy.
I don't like it when bạn cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too,
And I cry with bạn even though
You can't hear...
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posted by i_luv_angst
14
This was forwarded to me in an e-mail, so I don't really know where it comes from:

1 Look at your zipper. See the initials YKK? It stands for Yoshida Kogyo Kabushibibaisha, the world's largest zipper manufacturer.
2 40 percent of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.
3 315 entries in Webster's 1996 Dictionary were misspelled.
4 On the average, 12 newborns will be được trao to the wrong parents daily.
5 Sô cô la kills dogs! True, Sô cô la affects a dog's tim, trái tim and nervous system. A few ounces is enough to kill a small sized dog.
6 Ketchup was sold in the 1830's as a medicine.
7...
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added by Shelly_McShelly
1
posted by jeannette27
 laminin protein cell
laminin protein cell
Now tell me that our God is not the coolest!!!
Amazing.
The glue that holds us together....ALL of us....is in the shape of the cross.
Immediately Colossians 1:15-17 comes to mind.
"He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation.
For bởi him all things were created; things in heaven and on earth , visible and invisible,
whether thrones hoặc powers hoặc rulers hoặc authorities;
all things were created bởi him and for him.
He is before all things,
and in him all things HOLD TOGETHER. "
Colossians 1:15-17
 laminin protein cell
laminin protein cell
 laminin cell
laminin cell
added by 3xZ
added by loonybug
Source: tumblr
19
added by Lovehinagurl44
1
posted by Smib
4
1
Look at your zipper. See the initials YKK? It stands for Yoshida Kogyo Kabushibibaisha, the world's largest zipper manufacturer.

2
A duck's quack doesn't echo. No one knows why.

3
40 percent of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.

4
315 entries in Webster's 1996 Dictionary were misspelled.

5
On the average, 12 newborns will be được trao to the wrong parents daily.

6
Chocolate kills dogs! True, Sô cô la affects a dog's tim, trái tim and nervous system. A few ounces is enough to kill a small sized dog.

7
Ketchup was sold in the 1830's as a medicine.

8
Leonardo da Vinci could write with one hand and...
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added by Fitch
1
added by randomgirl3000
Source: tumblr
added by JenniferxD
Source: Jennifer