If Mr. hạt đậu, đậu had a Baby...

Ways to Annoy:
1.say a ngẫu nhiên word for no reason all the time.
2.put spicy stuff in a thực phẩm they like.
3.make a loud farting noise from your mouth and say "uh oh, i sharted."
4.make a farting noise from your mouth and blame it on the guy tiếp theo to you.
5.go to a drive thru, get your face right up to the speaker and yell as loud as bạn can.
6.make a REALLY annoying noise all the time.
7.Write using only crayons, markers and paint.
8.When guests are at your house go into the phòng bếp, nhà bếp and come out with ketchup all over bạn and say "THE BOOGIE MAN IS HERE!" a bunch of times.
9.in school if there's a problem...

Here's some of my fave "I wasnt that drunk" jokes hope bạn like :)
"I wasn't that drunk"
"You saw a ginger girl eating blueberries and screamed 'No Foxface! Not the berries!'"
"You ran into Walmart and when bạn heard someone talking on the intercom, bạn fell to your knees and said, 'God has spoken!'"
"You grabbed my parakeet, threw it at my sisters piggy bank and yelled, 'ANGRY BIRDS!!!!!'"
"You told me to give bạn a ride trang chủ and the part was at your house"
"You asked your girlfriend if she was single"
"You gave a midget a nấm and yelled 'GROW MARIO GROW!!!'"
"You were cutting open pineapples...

1. Don't EVER tell us to CALM DOWN when we're angry. We hate that, and it often makes the situation worse.
2. Don't act like bạn know what you're talking about when bạn don't. It just pisses us off.
3. Don't treat us badly and with disrespect.
4. Don't give us commands like we're some kind of dog. We're your equal and should be treated as such.
5. Sure, you're the guy, so bạn can act like you're the stronger one... Whatever... But, don't EVER act like you're the head of the house. Relationships are to be an equal situation.
6. Don't yell at us when we do something wrong.
7. When bạn screw up, don't...

Researchers in the UK examined thêm than 1000 jokes and placed them before 36,000 voters to determine the "official" 50 funniest jokes of all time.

And here they are:

50. I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'. So I went - and I got it.

49. A niêm phong, con dấu walks into a club...

48. Went to the corner cửa hàng - bought 4 corners.

47. So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants, it was Wedgie Kray.

46. I'll tell bạn what I tình yêu doing thêm than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.

45. I tried water polo...

1. When bạn get pulled over, say “What’s wrong, ossifer, there’s no blood in my alcohol?”

2. When he asks why bạn were speeding, tell him bạn wanted to race.

3. When he talks to you, pretend bạn are deaf.

4. If he asks if bạn knew how fast bạn were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to……

5. Ask if bạn can see his gun.

6. When he says bạn aren’t allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.

7. Touch him.

8. When he asks why bạn were speeding, tell him bạn had to buy a hat.

9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.

10. Refer to him bởi his first name.

11. Pretend bạn are gay...

" Watch out for the idiot behind me!"
Moooooove, I'm trying to speed!
If you're rich, I’m single!
0-60 in 15 minutes!
A clean car is a sign if sick mind.
100% Irony Free
Adrenalin is my drug of choice.
Adults are just kids with money.
Baby on bored
HOME SCHOOL. Smarter than ever.
I talk to strangers
I Think Feminists Are Cute!
Keep honking, I am reloading!
Pain is inevitable misery is optional.
To All bạn Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.
Tennis players have fuzzy balls.
Your honor student deals the best drugs.


The fastest way to a fisherman's tim, trái tim is through his fly
Stupidity is not a crime so you’re...

found this on the net:

18 Fun Things To Do In A Final That Does Not Matter (i.e. bạn are going to fail the class completely no matter what bạn get on the final exam)

1) Get the copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!"

2) Talk the entire way through the exam. Read các câu hỏi aloud, thảo luận your các câu trả lời with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure bạn can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3) Bring cheerleaders.

4) Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five phút into it, loudly say to the...

Found this on the net:

24 Fun Things To Do In An Elevator

1. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of bạn just shut UP!"

2. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.

3. Crack open your cặp, vali, cặp tài liệu hoặc purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"

4. Offer name tag to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.

5. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

6. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they...

Check out this infected canker sore in my mouth!
I work for the IRS.
Have bạn ever tried cat meat?
I don't know why I ate it - liver and onions always gives me gas.
I just had a proctological exam - wow, worth every penny!
The last time my head rang like this I woke up with a dead man tiếp theo to me!
I puked on the last person who flew tiếp theo to me.
My butt reeeally itches!
Would bạn look at the size of the hair I just yanked out of my nose!
My psychiatrist says that flying helps offset my desire to mutilate small, defenseless, woodland creatures.
The last guy who ignored me is still on a respirator....

Okay so if bạn live on the eastcoast u are probably getting used to the snow..........so even if u aren't, everybody has the problem of having nothing to do when it snows but sled. So these are a few of the things that i enjoy to do.........hehe!

1. Fill balloons with water. Then leave them outside overnight.............yeah i'm this stupid. The tiếp theo day, cut the balloons off and bạn got.........AN ICE BALL!! (i usually make like 15) Then use them to pay dodgeball. This is especially fun to do in deep snow, when bạn can barely di chuyển as it is. Technically, u could use them to do various things,...

As many of bạn are aware, I absolutely ADORE Wicked and I'm so excited about the movie adaptation that is just taking FOREVER to be made, even before the pandemic came along. So, like many people, I just keep wanting them to make some casting announcements for the movie already and have been making my own fan-cast for the movie, even making a video of my fan-cast. However, I felt like taking the time to explain my casting choices so everyone knows why I made my choices. I will provide my fan-cast video at the end, so bạn can hear the vocal capabilities. Please keep in mind that this is just...

David Cage, the creator of many famous games of the gần đây era. A man who is đã đưa ý kiến to be one of the most creative minds in gaming right now. And yet, no matter who bạn ask, there is only two opinions on this guy. There’s the people who like David Cage and then there are the people who don’t. And I’m one of the people who don’t. Welcome to an episode of Content Cuck. And this is the David Cage and Quantic Dream rant article. I’m here to discuss all the flaws of every Quantic Dream game, yes, all five of them, and talk about the flaws of David Cage, from the self centered behavior to...