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posted by invadercalliope
This is 100% true.
This all really did happen to me.

When i was little, me my mom and sister.
Live in this creepy blue house *it was big*
I wasn't scared because i was to young.
But I still remeber everything.
One of the weirdest things was when ever i went to
the back-yard i herd this creepy animal weird growl sound i did cry when i herd it and i was the only one in the family who herd it to.
Sometimes my sister mom and when my dad visted
carried me to the back yard teasing me. I was
crying and kicking.
Another one is my dreams they were so weird.
One dream i had was that i was on the dock and
my sister...
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posted by keEeEeToOo
The adventure began when Jenny sat tiếp theo to a gian ear.
"I'm too hot and tired to go any further!"
she said. "We left the oasis hours ago. It's time for a rest." She put her bag on the hot rock beside her and then exclaimed, "Look at this! It's an anormous ear!"
She stood up and brushed a little sand off the rock. "Here's an eye... and down here, there's a nose. It's a huge face!"
Uncle Jim was amazed. "It's a head of a statue," he said. "But why is it here, in the middle of the desert?"
Pete was looking at the ground. "These big flat stones look like a floor," he said.
He stepped onto the first stone....
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raindrops on hoa hồng and whiskers on kittens
bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
brown paper packages tied up with strings
these are a few of my favourite things,

cream coloured ponies with crisp táo, apple strudels doorbells and sleybells and snitzel with nudels
wild geese that fly with the moon with there wings these are a few of my favourite things,

girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
snow flakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
silver white winters that melt into springs
these are a few of my favourite things,

when the dog bites when the bee stings when Im feeling sad
I simply remember my favourite thing
and then I dont feel so bad
posted by karpach_13
Men don't rule the world!!!
Men don't rule the world!!!

If men really ruled the world,

1. Breaking up would be a lot easier.
A cái tát, đánh đập, smack to the butt and a "Nice hustle, you'll get'em tiếp theo time" would pretty much do it.

2. Birth control would come in rượu bia, bia hoặc lager.

3. Valentine's ngày would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years.

4. On Groundhog Day, if bạn saw your shadow, you'd get the ngày off to go drinking. Mother's ngày too.

5. St. Patrick's Day, however, would remain exactly the same. But it would be celebrated every month.

6. Garbage would take itself out.

7. Regis and Kathy...
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posted by HaiSuG96
RuHiU G. [Katia V.]
This is myspace. People post their "life stories" on the internet. They share their interests, likes, dislikes, music, video and the usual "I got them haters going like ____" , "i tình yêu my haters" or, "don't give a ____ about what others think". Myspace is a place full of lies. Some people say they don't give a crap about people telling them stuff to their faces, but they are the first ones bạn see crying in the restroom because of a stupid comment. They say that they tình yêu their haters, and sometimes I think "if bạn tình yêu your haters, then why do bạn hate back?" seriously....
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posted by InvaderCynder
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posted by disneyboy122
I was falling and wished this was a dream. It was real. I was hurdling down at speeds unimaginable. I saw the clouds rolling bởi and the sky get further and further away. I closed my eyes and could see the life that seemed to pass bởi so quickly. I knew I couldn't stop myself as I still hurdled toword my death. I knew this was the end. my life wasn't so great. why should I suffer anymore. I smiled as the ground got closer and closer until finally we met. My time has come and nothing was left. Sorrow takes many ways. The way it took this time was death.
K so me and my sister are wrting a book and we really want it to be published hoặc made into a tv show, but we want the tv thing thêm so me and her stayed up ALL night and thought up of an opening 4 the first episode. so i'll write it and PLEASE tell me wat bạn think and if you'd want to here thêm hoặc see this on your tv, so here it is:
(opens in on 3 sleeping teen girls) (Izzy wakes up and does jumping jacks, splits, and a flip)
"Ella! I NEED my slingshot!!" Izzy đã đưa ý kiến to Ella. "No! Your not flinging Alyssa with rocks again!" Ella said. "Yeah! i still have bruces for that!" Alyssa said. "Well Im...
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posted by LocalArtistist
Again Disney has wrapped its magical fairy hands around this tale making it two movies, when in reality this tale is quite short.

There is a young girl, who is working out in the fields. Her dép, sandal falls off and a eagle (or hawk) then picks up the shoe. She chases after it leaving her family just for the shoe, which the bird drops on the kings lap. The king orders her beheaded but sees her beauty and declares her his wife, also ending in forced child birth of several sons.

(Have yet to find how she dies.)
Teacher:Okay Suzi go to the map and find North America.
Suzi:Right here!
Teacher:Good job!Now Bobby,who discovered America?
Bobby:Suzi Did!
god I cracked up today!
Speaking of today!My class gotta go to our 'BOOK BUDDIES' Class room and help make gingerbread houses!My book buddy's name was Addy,(mine is Abby!)Anyways!It was like...SPRINKLE CITY!!If bạn were an ant,You would drown in sprinkles!!!!!!!!!GOD
My friend ,Sam,Was tiếp theo to me...and she had like 50 spaz attacks!She was super hyped up!!!!Wow!They really shouldn't Put kẹo in front of her!And I just can't stand the sprinkles!!!!God!I almost devoured the icing!There was like M&Ms,Gummy Drops,
kẹo Canes,Nerds(one girl was like' Oh my god i tình yêu these!),a lot thêm too!Plus my friend Sam made a story called 'The Black Dragons' Kinda like The girl with the dragon tattoo!Listening to Taylor Swift's"Permanent marker"!Love it!

posted by adaug
I got this joke from a "Weekend Shopper"ad paper

Mrs.Smith saw one of her students making faces at other kids.She walked over there and said"Billy,
When I make a face,my teacher always đã đưa ý kiến it would
stay that way."she said"Well Mrs Smith.You can't say
bạn weren't warned!"Billy replied

posted by samuraibond005
I never really had a life as a kid, I was brought up to lead and to fight, I was never allowed to play with little toy trains hoặc dolls. I learned to shoot with a large combat súng trường rather than a bb gun, I learned swordsmanship with a live blade, not a wooden one, hoặc even a stick when I was really young.
As a result of my lack of childhood and my desire to get it back, I met a young boy bởi the name of Jitsa, he was 8, he loved going out in the woods and hunting with his bb gun, he loved going trang chủ afterwards and playing with his little electric trains. I would play with him, though I brought...
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OK, this bài viết is going to be in the point of view of many different characters. Before it begins in their point of view it will have their names.
Edward wasn't a school today, too sunny, I'm guessing. The Cullens are probably out hunting. Charlie had đã đưa ý kiến that where the Cullens "hike" is filled with bears. I'm pretty sure that they are hunting somewhere else today, so I would like to see how it looks up there. I pulled on some hiking boots and got in my truck.
Eventually I reached the place. I was standing on the side of a small cliff. I found a few chịu, gấu prints, and started to wander...
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posted by ilovetowrite
there's something
steals your tim, trái tim and mine
that's not fine
it steals your smile
and takes bạn away for mile
breaks your dream away
why does it just leave bạn away
apart from bạn way
what can i say
is pray ,pray
do what bạn tình yêu for sure
it will come closer thêm and thêm
it doesn't let bạn look for
what bạn are searching for
i đã đưa ý kiến again what do bạn want to do
and say hoo ,hooo
bordem go away
bordem go away
fight a lot they
bạn should stay and
say say say say
bordem go away
bordem go away
bordem go away
posted by ShiningsTar542
Yo guys! These sweets look good enough to eat, but don't be fooled!! :D

Why not??! :(
Because they are not sweets at all, but soaps! Look a little closer:

The ice creams are blueberry, dưa hấu and quả anh đào, anh đào flavor!

The bánh quy, cookie that look like they are are made of toffee and strawberry, really smell like these delicious foods!

Doughnuts? They are just like the ones bạn can buy at the store, in size and shape. Of course, bạn can't eat them, but they do smell like chocolate!

How about one of the muffins, which smell like pear, táo, apple and vanilla?

The last doughnut would be perfect for a guy like Homer Simpson. He wouldn't mind that it's just soap!

These soaps would make for a really fun gift hoặc the perfect điểm thưởng in a practical joke. Here's the website if bạn wan to buy a couple of them: link


source: mundochica
posted by smileypop9
Something I did for fun cos I was bored...just getting my thoughts out lol! This is part 4. :DDDDDDDDD

TV ads. I hate 'em. I mean, except for the dancing em bé one.
Doesn't it annoy bạn when you're watching your fave hiển thị on telly, someone is about to die hoặc something equally exciting to watch, when everything stops and an Aquafresh advert pops up. Mm. Aquafresh. Great. bạn know, just what I came to watch on TV. A freakin' lady brush her teeth and smile into her mirror. Your teeth are still yellow, woman.

Or those annoying My Little ngựa con, ngựa, pony adverts. Who the hell would...
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posted by invadercalliope
Hi everyone it's me Invader Calliope!
0% Innocent
█ 10% Mental
██ 20% Friendly
███ 30% Evil
████ 40% Invader
█████ 50% Bloody
██████ 60% Emo
███████ 70% Sneaky
████████ 80% Heart
█████████ 90% Killer
██████████100% Fearfull
I hope bạn are having a wonderful monday!
I like hobos!
I tình yêu INVADER ZIM!
Time for awsome faces:
So i am going to tell bạn a story once apon a time the end!
The End!
posted by Insane4ever
So,this is my first of maybe many các bài viết that make no sence,you will go like wtf is this,or somthing

so this time(the 1st time) i will be talking stupid untrue things about cows n bulls......

Cows n bulls,natures first astronouts.yes,i đã đưa ý kiến astronouts how do bạn think the milky way got its name,cows n bulls explored it!!!!well they did have help from goats,but thats another story.anyway first bò đực, con bò, bull in không gian was Cowsback Milkstone,he was a wise bull,he had company of his good Những người bạn Collin Mc Moo,Milky Sô cô la and his girlfriend Mooona enough about them,lets talk about mad cows....they made acused the cows n bulls they are mad just becouse they had a big awesome "the back days" party,whitch was all about the first american presidents bò đực, con bò, bull Abraham abry Milkoln,the best cow in the world,i think we will all miss him.

Well thats all for this nonsense article,thank bạn for reading.tune in again......or i slap you!!!!!.....bye n may Abraham Milcoln be with you
Miss Carey: Hello, Allex! Come in!
Allex: Hi! What's happening here?
Mady: It's drama club.
Miss Carey: Come and tham gia us!
Allex: Ok. What are bạn doing?
Ed: We're putting on a play.
Allex: Really? Can i be in it? I like acting.
Nicki: He's a really good actor, Miss Carey.
Miss Carey: Excellent!
Allex: What's the play?
Mady: It's The Ugly Duckling.
Allex: Oh... That's for little children.
Mady: Yes, we're doing it for kindergarten.
Nicki: It's fun!
Ed: I'm the kind man.
Mady: I'm the kind man's doughter.
Alex: What about me?
Miss Carey: You, Alex, can be the ugly duckling.
posted by moodystuff449
Chapter 6:

An Old Enemy, a New Ally

Though Ashtaroth and I went back and forth on for quite a while, I finally gave in to going to sleep and continuing in the morning. It would have been nearly pitch black if I couldn't see in the dark. I sat with my back against the brick tường of the alley staring up at the stars. The milky white outline of the Moon stood out completely against the murky ink-black sky. It was a thin crescent moon, as thin as thread. I was up so late that I had actually watched the moon as it traveled across the sky. The air was cold and crisp and every time bạn breathed frost...
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