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1. Vary your vehicle’s speed inversely with the speed limit.

2. Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to head bang.

3. At stop lights, eye the person in the tiếp theo car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors.

4. Two words: Chicken suit.

5. Write the words "Help me” on your back window in red paint. The thêm it looks like blood, the better.

6. Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat, when driving alone.

7. Laugh a lot. A whole lot.

8. Stop at the green lights.

9. Go at the red ones.

10. Occasionally wave a stuffed animal/troll doll/Barbie out your window hoặc sunroof. Feel free to make it dance.

11. Eat thực phẩm that requires silverware.

12. Pass cars, then drive very slowly.

13. Sing without having the radio on.

14. Honk frequently without motivation.

15. Wave at people often. If they wave back, offer an angry look and an obscene gesture.

16. Ask people for Grey Poupon.

17. Let pedestrians know who’s boss.

18. Look behind bạn frequently, with a very paranoid look.

19. Restart your car at every stop light.

20. Hang numerous car-fresheners in the rear-view mirror. Talk to them, stroking them lovingly.

21. Lob burning things in the windows of smokers who throw their butts out the window.

22. While stopped at a light, piss out the window/sunroof onto other cars.

23. Paint your car with occult symbols.

24. Keep at least five mèo in the car.

25. Have some passengers in the back who are having wild, noisy sex.

26. Root (cheer, not snuffle in the mud) for ngọn lửa, chữa cháy trucks.

27. Stop and collect road kill.

28. Stop and pray to road kill.

29. Throw Spam.

30. Get in the fast lane and gradually…slow…down… to a stop. Then get out and watch the cars.
posted by McDreamyluva
LOLs!!

HE: I'm a photographer I've been looking for a face like yours!
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours

HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance?
SHE: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too !

HE: How did bạn get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must have been được trao your share !

HE: Will bạn come out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend !

HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!
SHE: Okay, get out!

HE: I think I could make bạn very happy
SHE: Why? Are bạn leaving?

HE: What would bạn say if I asked u to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh...
continue reading...
posted by ilovepenguins
1) If tình yêu is blind, then why is there lingerie?
2) Why are they called "apartments" if they are all connected?
3) Should bạn believe a chronic liar if he admits that he is a chronic liar?
4) Did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons?
5) Why is it that chó tình yêu to hang their head out of the car window, but will get mad at bạn if bạn blow in their face?
6) If all the world is a stage, where is the audience?
7) If a cây falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?
8) If pro is the opposite of con, then wouldn't congress be the opposite of progress?
9) If the hình năm góc, hình ngũ giác, lầu năm góc were...
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•    A few clowns short of a circus

•    A few fries short of a Happy Meal

•    A few beers short of a six-pack

•    Dumber than a box of hair

•    A few peas short of a soong, nấu ăn thịt hầm

•    Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box

•    The wheel's spinning but the hamster's dead

•    One Froot Loop shy of a full bowl

•    A few feathers short of a whole con vịt, vịt

•    All foam, no beer...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
•    Vary your vehicle’s speed inversely with the speed limit.

•    Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to head bang.

•    At stop lights, eye the person in the tiếp theo car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors.

•    Two words: Chicken suit.

•    Write the words “Help me” on your back window in red paint. The thêm it looks like blood, the better.

•    Stop at the green lights.

•    Go at the red ones.

•    Occasionally...
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posted by Rock_n_Roll671
Okay, I;m not saying bạn should ACTUALLY do this, but if u want to, u can, and put in the các bình luận which ones you're going to try out.
__________________________________________________

1. When you're getting a drink of water at the water fountain, and he passes by, get a handfull of water and throw it at the crotch of his pants, and then yell, "HE PEED HIS PANTS!"

2. Run underwear up a flagpoll, solute, and when your princible scolds you, say, "You're just saying that cuz bạn hate America."

3. When bạn go to the princible's office, and when he asks why bạn were sent, say, "I wrote that bạn sucked...
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1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited bởi mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics.They lived in the Sarah món tráng miệng and traveled bởi Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

2. The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible,Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an táo, apple tree. One of their children,Cain, asked, “Am I my brother’s son?”

3. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bánh mỳ, bánh mì which is bánh mỳ, bánh mì made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He...
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posted by Alexyss_Cullen
bạn came into my life as an unknown face
Not ever knowing our friendship,
I would one ngày embrace
As I wonder Through My thoughts and memories of u,
It Brings many Big Smiles and laughter so true

I tình yêu the special bond that we beutifully share,
I tình yêu the way bạn hiển thị u really care,
Our Friendship means the aboslute world to me
I only hope this is somthin i can make u see,
Not hear

Thank u for opening ur mind and soul,
I will do all i can to help heal,
ur hearts little wholes
Remember ur secrets are forever an toàn, két an toàn within me,
I will keep them under the tightest lock & key

Always Remember..If ur ever in...
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1)At the movies: When bạn meet acquaintances/ friends.. .
Stupid Question: Hey, what are bạn doing here?
Answer: Don't u know, I sell tickets in black over here.

2)In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question: Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer: No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia. Why don't bạn try again?

3)At a funeral: One of the teary eyed people ask...
Stupid Question: Why, why him, of all people.
Answer: Why? Would it rather have been you?

4)At a restaurant: When bạn ask the waiter
Stupid Question: Is the "Paneer bơ Masala" dish good?...
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xD... I found that alot of ppl are posting these ^^

1. Follow them around the house everywhere.

2. Moo when they say your name.

3. In the grocery store, try to stick as many melons down yer pants as bạn can and then start dancing

4. Say everything backwards.

5. Run into walls.

6. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion.

7. Go into their room at 4 in the morning and say "Good Morning Sunshine!"

8. Snort loudly when bạn laugh and then laugh harder.

9. Everytime they say your name jump up and down rub yer stomach and pat your head.

10. Pluck someone's hair out and yell "DNA!!!"

11. Wear...
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* trái cam, màu da cam Lavaburst
* đào (no longer produced)
* Poppin' màu hồng, hồng Lemonade
* dâu, dâu tây Kiwi Kraze
* Torrential Tropical Punch
* Wild Cherry
* kẹo táo, apple cooler


[edit] Hi-C Blast

* Berry Blue
* Blue Watermelon
* trái cây Pow
* trái cây Punch
* Orange
* trái cam, màu da cam Supernova
* màu hồng, hồng Lemonade
* dâu rừng, quả mâm xôi Kiwi
* Strawberry
* dâu, dâu tây Kiwi
* Wild Berry

[edit] Hi-C chua Blast

* Green Apple
* Strawberry
* Wild Cherry
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THE WORD HI 61 TIMES

hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi
Did bạn really have to leave?
Without saying goodbye
Leaving me in tears
Wondering why?

I was really hoping
to be thêm than a friend
But for some strange reason
My plan had to end

As I recalled
That very special ngày
I was thinking "hey!
What did he have to say?"

During that ngày
there was lots to be đã đưa ý kiến
And I realized that
It all went in my head

When bạn đã đưa ý kiến "I tình yêu you"
I đã đưa ý kiến "I tình yêu bạn too"
But now I'm just questioning
Was it ever true?
__________________________________________________

I promised to be your friend.
Always and Forever.
Never had I thought
We would be thêm
What if I did...
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10) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, "He just didn't belong."
9) di chuyển everything to one side of the room. Ask your roommate if he knows how much an con voi weighs, and look at the floor on the empty side of the room with concern.
8) Draw a tiny black line on your nose. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, "The hair, it's growing. Growing!"
7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While...
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10. we have a slim chance we might be able to make a non hangover wine.....more amazing things have happened.....Actually that might be a lie.
9. We've all got our Những người bạn and family....And chocolate.
8. We also have light chocolate!
7. we also have dark chocolate!
6. Did I mention we have chocolate?
5. If the "Waters of mars" doctor who special scared the cra* out of you, at least your not alone...
4. Even if bạn sometimes feel sad hoặc depressed, the sun will come out tomorrow....OR if your used to typical british wheather then this doesn't apply to bạn sorry, but if your in any other country, then bạn still have ten reasons to stay sane!
3. When bạn think of Sô cô la everything seems to go your way...
2. There's someone for everyone!
1. Thats the lot! :)
-Pandawinx. :)
(PS thanks for reading! :) )
1. If using a touch-tone, press ngẫu nhiên numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.

2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.

3. Use CB lingo where applicable.

4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza, bánh pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

7. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.

8. Answer their các câu hỏi with questions.

9. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and...
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1. "Do not use if bạn cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet." -- In the information booklet.

2. "Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.

3. "For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.

4. "Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron.

5. "Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer.

6. "Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer.

7. "Do not use while sleeping hoặc unconscious." -- On a hand-held massaging device.

8. "Do not place this product into any electronic equipment." -- On the case of...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
Colonel Sanders
There's no reason to be the richest man in the cemetery. bạn can't do any business from there.

Roseanne Barr
Experts say bạn should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

W.C. Fields
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

Milton Berle
They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer.

George Gobal
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching ti vi bởi candlelight.

Groucho Marx
I find ti vi very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the...
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WELDONE!

YOU HAVE FAILED TO IGNORE THIS MESSAGE TO bạn - THE PERSON WHO FAILED!

dear fellow fanpop failures...

i have failed to bring bạn the news of fail blog sooner...

some of bạn may know but the rest of bạn probabley fail to know what im talking about. well fail blog is the brand new fail site. it's stuffed full of posts of your ngày to ngày FAILS. it does have the occasional win... there are the most ngẫu nhiên posts of failed bức ảnh shots of failures đã đăng bởi dedicated failed fail-er fail finders some are plain stupid but it won't fail to make bạn laugh! bạn can take failed pictures your self...
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Hey,it's werewolflover.you seemed to like my other bài viết like this so here's another one.I hope bạn enjoy and please rate and comment.
#1 sit in your front yard and every time someone walks bởi (even a dog) moo where they can hear.
#2 Have a trà party with Mr.Wiggles.If anyone wals bởi say "would bạn like to tham gia us?"
#3 scream at everyone to hide because the màu hồng, hồng fuzzy bananas are taking over the world.
#4 go to a park/any large grassy area where people are,sit down and scream.
#5 Start coughing and then say "sorry my chipmunk,Fred was trying to get out of my stomach.Then say to Fred,be good hoặc I'm taking your DS away.
I personally think my first one was better,but what do ya think?
1. Go to a Miley Cyrus buổi hòa nhạc with an obsessed Twilight Fangirl, and go up on stage with her in the middle of the buổi hòa nhạc and talk about Edward Cullen (fangirl hoặc not). Make sure bạn both wear My Chemical Romance T-Shirts.

2. Make a gossip magazine write about a Joe Jonas and Robert Patterson scandal.

3. Tell Selena Gomez hoặc Demi Lovato that they're bad role models.

4. Diss Selena Gomez's fasion style.

5. Bring Marilyn Manson and Gene Simmons (both with makeup) to the set of Sonny With A Chance.

6. Compare Joe Jonas's áo khoác in "Burnin Up" and a The Black Parade jacket. Farmiliar?

7. Morph Miley...
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hiển thị this to your math teacher, and tell me what his/her reaction is! ^_^

Pi = 3.
141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399 375105820974944592307816406286208998628034825 342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582 231725359408128481117450284102701938521105559 644622948954930381964428810975665933446128475 648233786783165271201909145648566923460348610 454326648213393607260249141273724587006606315 588174881520920962829254091715364367892590360 011330530548820466521384146951941511609433057 270365759591953092186117381932611793105118548 074462379962749567351885752724891227938183011 949129833673362440656643086021394946395224737...
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