1. We aren’t mind readers!
2. We are not to be used as pawns in trying to make your girlfriends jealous.
3. When bạn sleep over never boss me around in giường unless it is during sex.
4. Smoking is the biggest turn off.
5. It never hurts to work out.
6. If bạn don’t want to hear the truth, don’t ask the question.
7. “Fine” hoặc “whatever” is not an appropriate ending to a conversation.
8. If bạn want sex, just ask. (In case bạn didn’t already know.)
9. Don’t expect guys to say as many sweet things as they do in the movies. (It takes a lot of guys and their wives to come up with those scripts).
10. Only người mẫu are able to wear most of the stuff bạn see in fashion magazines.
11. No guy will complain if he comes trang chủ and sees bạn in one of the following outfits: French Maid, School girl, bunny, hoặc just plain naked.
12. bạn don’t need lingerie to look sexy before bed, short cotton shorts and a tank hàng đầu, đầu trang are fine bởi us.
13. Girls look good naked so stop worrying.
14. Sharing your deepest feelings in no way guarantees reciprocity.
15. We are all kinky and willing to try anything that bạn may enjoy, just let us know.
16. Every so often no matter whether it is true hoặc not remind us that we have the biggest penis you’ve ever dealt with.
17. If were not getting tình yêu we’ll start looking…(haha…just kidding…psych…I’m dead serious)
18. The greatest thing ever is to watch a girl touch herself.
19. Most of the time when I fantasize it is about another person.
20. If you, the girl, make out with another girl we won’t consider it cheating. Actually we strongly promote this behavior.
21. Your hair is like 14 inches long, how are we supposed to notice a quarter inch missing.
22. bạn shouldn’t be flattered hoặc grossed out if we get an erection when dancing with you. All we need is Friction.
23. Porn…hmmm…Porn. Watching porn is like breathing it would just be wrong to ask us to stop.
24. We masturbate, usually thêm when we are in a relationship, can’t explain it but it is just fact.
25. Blue balls are not sporting equipment. Didn’t your parents teach bạn not to quit.
26. Giving head is never a bad idea.
27. We are conservationists at heart, water is our biggest love, so vòi hoa sen with us.
28. There are three acceptable ways to wake up: (1) bạn on hàng đầu, đầu trang of us. (2) Getting head. (3) Some sort of breakfast.
29. We don’t mind going to gay phim chiếu rạp with bạn but don’t tell our friends.
30. bạn can’t hold it against us if we cry after sports phim chiếu rạp hoặc “Old yeller.”
31. “The game is on” is an acceptable excuse to avoid any serious conversation.
32. Any harsh contact with the testicles should be assumed a serious injury but soft caresses are strongly encouraged.
33. You’re probably not as funny as bạn think.
34. Brad Pitt is probably a cool guy but if I hear one thêm girl say “he’s so hot” he may have to die.
35. Your period should be referred to as Blowjob week. (Influenced bởi a Maxim article)
36. Cooking makes a girl that much thêm attractive especially if she can use a grill.
37. bạn can’t get mad if we refuse to hook up your “ugly friend” with one of our friends.
38. For every fart that slips out when bạn are around we successfully hold in about 15, enduring excruciating pain to do this.
39. If we want to take naked pictures of bạn it is because we are proud and want to hiển thị bạn off to our friends.
40. The red light means the video camera is off.
41. A guy should be considered sensitive if he asks whether bạn want to do it with the lights on hoặc off.
42. Whip cream and Sô cô la syrup are not just condiments for ice cream also Altoids just don’t make your breath fresher.
43. Nothing bạn will ever do will entitle bạn to operate the remote control. (Unless operating means handing it to us.)
44. The only thing left to be đã đưa ý kiến after sex is “goodnight.”
45. Video games have helped us develop such finger skills that should only encourage us to play thêm often.
46. Critiquing our driving is only một giây to critiquing our tình yêu making.
47. Guys nights out are sacred events. If we answer các câu hỏi we could be castrated.
48. If bạn ask us to go shopping bạn have to at least entertain the idea of having sex in a changing room.
49. The jeans don’t make your đít, mông, ass look fat. Your fat đít, mông, ass makes your đít, mông, ass look fat.
50. 99.5% of the time we didn’t mean to hurt you.