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posted by McDreamyluva
Here's the famous 'Best Divorce Letter' bởi Dan to Connie, pretty hilarious, definitely a must read! xD



Dear Connie,

I know the counselor đã đưa ý kiến we shouldn't contact each other during our "cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore.

The ngày bạn left, I swore I'd never talk to bạn again but that was just the wounded little boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first on to make contact. In my fantasies, it was always bạn who would come crawling back to me. I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride’s cost me a lot of things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you. I don't care about looking bad anymore. I don't care who makes the first di chuyển as long as one of us does. Maybe it's time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt.

This is what my tim, trái tim says "There's no one like you, Connie. I look for bạn in the eyes and breasts of every woman I see, but they're not you. They're not even close."

Two weeks cách đây I met this girl at Flamingoes and brought her trang chủ with me. I don't say this to hurt you, but just to illustrate the depth of my desperation. She was young, maybe 19 with one of those perfect bodies that only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice skating can give you. I mean, just a perfect body. F***ing like bạn wouldn't believe and đít, mông, ass that just wouldn't quite. Every man's dream, right?

As I sat on the đi văng being blown bởi this stunner, I thought, look at the stuff we've made important in our lives. It's all so superficial. What does a perfect body mean? Does it make her better in bed? Well, in this case, yes, but bạn see what I'm getting at. Does it make her a better person? Does she have a better tim, trái tim than my modestly attractive Connie? I doubt it. And I'd never really thought of that before. I don't know, maybe I'm just growing up a little.

Later, after I'd tossed her about a half a pint of throat yogurt, I found myself thinking, "Why do I feel so drained and empty?" It wasn't just her flawless technique hoặc her suttee shameless hunger; but something also, some nagging feeling of loss. Why did it feel incomplete? And then it hit me. It didn't feel the same because bạn weren't there to watch. Do bạn know what I mean? Nothing feels the same without you. Jesus, Connie, I'm just going crazy without you. And everything I do just reminds me of you.

Do bạn remember Carol that singe mom we met at the Holiday Inn lounge last year? Well, she dropped bởi last week with a pan of lasagna. She đã đưa ý kiến she figured I wasn't eating right without a woman around. I didn't know what she meant till later; but that's no the real story. Anyway, we had a few glasses of wine and the tiếp theo thing bạn know we're banging away in our old bedroom. And this tart's a total monster in the sack. She's giving me everything, bạn know, like a real woman does when she's not hung up about her weight hoặc her career and whether the kids can here us. And all of the sudden, she sports that tilting mirror on your grandmother's old vanity. So she puts it on the floor and we straddle it, right, so we can watch ourselves and it's totally hot, but it makes e sad too because I can't help thinking "Why didn't Connie ever put the mirror on the floor? We've had this old vanity for what, 14 years and we never used it as a sex toy."

Saturday your sister drops bởi with my copy of the restraining order. I mean, Vickie’s just a kid and all, but she's got a pretty good head on her shoulders and she’s been a real friend to me during this painful time. She's được trao me lots of good Lời khuyên about bạn and about women in general. She's pulling for us to get back together. Connie, she really is.

So we're doing Jell-O shots in a hot bath and taking about happier times. Here's this teenage girl with the same DNA as bạn and all I can do is think of how much she looks like bạn when bạn were 18. And that just about makes me cry. And then it turns out Vicky's really into the whole oral thing, and that gets me to thinking about how many times I pressured bạn about trying it and how that probably fueled some of the bitterness between us. But do bạn see how even then, when I'm thrusting inside your baby sister's cinnamon ring all I can do is think of you? It's true Connie. In your tim, trái tim bạn must know it. Don't bạn think we could start over? Just wipe out all the grievances away and start fresh? I think we can. If bạn feel the same please please please, let me know.

Otherwise, can bạn let me know where the f***ing remote is?

tình yêu Dan





link the link to the actual letter.
added by Lizijana
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Source: me
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Source: N2499
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Source: Moui!
added by otn04
Rachel's POV:

I was on hàng đầu, đầu trang of him and we were very close.

I wanted to Kiss him. I guess he also wanted to. I could tell that because he was staring at my màu hồng, hồng lips.

I wanted to get out of his grip on my waist.

Hey, he is my TUTOR. I should not do that.

Control.

Your.

Feelings.

Rachel!

That was constantly running in my mind.

But he was coming closer. I mean, yeah, I want to Kiss him but something is stopping me.

We were interrupted bởi his phone blasting some music. I mean his ringtone.

Why does that stupid 'thing' have to ruin the moment?

C'mon, that hottest guy wanted to Kiss the nerdy one.

That happens...
continue reading...
posted by randomgirl3000
I wondered if bạn could hear my tim, trái tim in your sleep,
Recognize the smell of my skin in your dreams,
Touch my lips when bạn wake up,
And whisper in my ears while I sleep.

I pondered all that as bạn fell asleep to my heartbeat,
Breathing softly on my chest with one of your hands still feeling me.
And when I wake up it was your lips,
hoặc maybe it's all just a dream.

But when I declared "I tình yêu you",
I could feel your lips at my ear,
Whispering the sweet melody,
Of everything I ever wanted to hear.
posted by flabaloobalah
So my uncle told me this joke and I HAD to post it:

So two blondes walk into a bar and sit at the counter. They order drinks, high five, and yell "Three months!" They finish their drinks and repeat.
The bartender is curious and asks, "What does 'three months' mean?"
One blonde explains. "You see, we bought a puzzle and it đã đưa ý kiến on the front '3-6 years', but we finished it in three months!"

Got to be the dumbest blondes on earth!

Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala.
posted by hetaliaitaly
Have bạn ever just stood there looking into không gian wondering why its not bạn who has the pretty face people say your ugly and just dont belong but they cant tell bạn who to do be your face is not right hoặc wrong your pretty in your own way its not them who makes your ngày be happy for who bạn are your pretty within your tim, trái tim and soul bạn have happy self control bạn only get once chance at life bạn happiness has no price stay the way bạn are no body can tell bạn who to be.

(hello people i am thêm happy now ok so i did another poem and it was actualy happy this time)