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posted by -Yusha-
Death came to a guy and said: "My friend today is your day."

Guy:"But I'm not ready!"
Then death said,"well your name is the tiếp theo on my list".

Guy:"Okay why don't bạn take a ghế, chỗ ngồi and I will get bạn something to eat before we go?".

Then death said,"all right"
The guy gave death some thực phẩm with sleeping pills in it, death finished eating and fell into a deep sleep.

The guy took the danh sách and removed his name from the hàng đầu, đầu trang of the danh sách and put it at the bottom of the list.

When death woke up he đã đưa ý kiến to the guy, "Because bạn have been so nice to me, I will start from the BOTTOM of the danh sách ..."

Moral of the story: - Whatever is written in your destiny ... Will never change no matter how much bạn try!!
posted by AlxanderRfan
I don’t know what makes bạn so dumb but it really works.

Anybody who told bạn to be yourself simply couldn’t have được trao bạn worse advice…

Hi there, I’m a human being! What are you?

Shouldn’t bạn have a license for being that ugly?

Don’t let bạn mind wander – it’s far too small to be let out on its own.

Are bạn always this stupid hoặc are bạn making a special effort today?

Sure, I’ve seen people like bạn before – but I had to pay an admission.

If bạn took an IQ test, the results would be negative.

Sure, I’d tình yêu to help bạn out…now, which way did bạn come in?

Brains aren’t everything....
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added by Me_Iz_Here
Source: ......
added by h2o-fen-site
added by 27-5
added by r-pattz
1. Do bạn like pie?

2. Are you, hoặc have bạn ever been a squirrel?

3. Are bạn afraid of Pancakes?

4. Are bạn a people person hoặc a person people?

5. How many months are in a watermelon?

6. Have bạn ever wondered what it would be like if bạn were an apple?

7. Have bạn ever wanted to know if your best friend was a Nazi, too?

8. Can bạn get me a soda?

9. Why is water so dry?

10. Have bạn ever wanted to be and Illegal Alien from Outer Mexico? (No offense to Mexicans)

11. Are people actually rabid horses?

12. Have bạn ever eaten the ear of a snake?

13. Do bạn have a sword handy?

14. Do bạn like pie?

15. Am I weird...
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42 Things That Will Make Your Parents Go Crazy.

1. Follow them around the house everywhere...

2. Moo when they say your name...

3. Run into walls...

4. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion...

5. Stand over them at four in the morning with a huge grin on your face and say, good morning sunshine...

6. Pluck someone's hair out and yell, "DNA"...

7. Wear a sticker that says, "I'm a retard"...

8. Have 20 imaginary Những người bạn that bạn talk to all the time...

9. In public yell, "No Mom/Dad, I will not make out with you!!"...

10. Do what they actually tell you...

11. Jump off the roof, trying...
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1.    Unplug the refrigerator.
2.    Turn the lò nướng on.
3.    Rearrange the furniture. (Turn a bedroom into a dining room, and vice versa.)
4.    Hide the remote.
5.    Hide the television.
6.    Hide the pets.
7.    Change the answering machine message.
8.    Turn off the answering machine.
9.    Change the speed dial numbers.
10.    Change the alarm clock time to twelve hours earlier.
11.    Add...
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posted by zanesaaomgfan
1. Tell her that theres a robber outside and point to a guy in black.

2. Say its snowing and repeat it 3 times. Then, say mom are bạn listening? 15 times.

3. Ask her, "Do bạn like me?" over and over

4. Tell your phone to die.

5. Don't blow your nose when shes asks bạn to.

6. Make weird faces when she asks bạn to get off your PC.

7. Whine to her about your PC/laptop.

8. Call your mom about her day.

9. Break something that your mother brought you.

10. If somebody's at the door, and your trang chủ alone, answer it.

11. Call your mother, father.

12. Call your mom for no reason.

13. When its a night before your...
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posted by My8thUsername
A/N: I tình yêu copy-and-pastes. Here's a enormungantic danh sách I did. 'Cause I felt like it. Oh, and they're not in any order. I just wanted to know how many I have. bởi the way, just because I copied them here doesn't necessarily mean they apply to me. I just thought they were cute/funny/awesome. After all, this isn't my profile...

1.98 percent of teenagers do hoặc has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile. A/N: Never ever. And proud.

2.Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when bạn don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as...
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posted by shiriny
Type out the sentence bạn end up in comments:

Pick the tháng bạn were born:
January-------I kicked
February------I loved
March----------I karate chopped
April------------I licked
May------------I jumped on
June-----------I smelled
July------------I did the Macarena With
August--------I had lunch with
September----I danced with
October-------I sang to
November-----I yelled at
December-----I ran over

Pick the ngày (number) bạn were born on:
1-------a birdbath
2-------a monster
3-------a phone
4-------a fork
5-------a snowman
6-------a gangster
7-------my mobile phone
8-------my dog
9-------my best friends' boyfriend...
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added by Rodz
Source: desktopnexus
posted by Bubblekat
1. Go around stores, pick up items and yell out really loudly "Who buys this CRAP anyway?!"

2. Get a cart, get on the bar below the bar bạn grip, and push it down the isle, extra points for running into something hoặc someone

3. Go up to a ngẫu nhiên person and say "you have pretty eyes, may I have your eyes?!" and hear to see what they say

4. Laugh randomly

5. If someones talking on a cellphone Go closer to them and start maki ngẫu nhiên noises to disturb them, extra points if they hang up

6. If your near a đài phun nước run to it and start splashing in it

7. If your mom starts nagging to bạn in public about the...
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posted by mercedes_xoxoxo
1. Walk into the classroom like a super spy. (keep your back on the walls as bạn walk, point your finger up like a gun, look around with shifty eyes, hum the mission impossible theme, etc.)

2. After everything your teacher says, ask why.

3. If your teacher is yelling at a classmate, wait for them to finish their tantrum then ask” DOES SOMEBODY NEED A HUG?????” very loudly.

4. If your teacher starts blowing up at bạn for saying that simply reply “Wow, I can tell you’re a blast at parties”

5. Dress up like l (Death Note) and walk in with no shoes.

6. If your teacher asks “why aren’t...
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1. Try to start a wave

2. Gasp every time there is a swear word.

3. Wear a huge Afro wig.

4. Every 15 phút stand up and then sit back down.

5. Yell out to the screen “Don’t Do It!”

6. If there is a tình yêu scene, reach over in front of bạn and cover a ngẫu nhiên person’s eyes.

7. Stand in front of the screen motionless and face the audience the entire movie.

8. Scalp tickets outside the theater.

9. If a catchy song plays in the movie stand up and dance.

10. Bring an attachable seat-belt. Strap it to your ghế, chỗ ngồi and then clip it on yourself. Turn to the person tiếp theo to bạn and say, “you never know”....
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1. Wait, why do we need to learn this?

2. Learning hurts my head!

3.Yeah, I was listening I just wasn't paying attion.

4.Why do we get homework and bạn don't?!

5. I'm sorry I didn't hear the question, I was to busy drawing funny pictures of you.

6. *They ask bạn a question* Ummm Ummm Your FACE!

7. Wait! Can I erase the board?

8. When do we start Sex Ed.? *raise eye brows*


10. I missed what bạn đã đưa ý kiến right there. I wasn't paying attion.

11. I have this great diet plan. bạn should try it.

12. Oooooo Ahhhhh, What were bạn talking about I was to busy Oooing and Ahhhing.

13. Does...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
my friend sent me this text message a while cách đây and i thought it was hilarious!!!

i need to ask bạn somethingand i want bạn to be totally honest with me. it may be awkward between us after this but i have to kow how bạn feel... I've kept it in for a while now but now it's time to be straight up and just confront you. i hope this doesn't ruin anything we have, i just need to know and i dont see any other way i could get over this. it just doesn't seem fair if i dont gett an answer. i want bạn to tell me truthfully, please no matter how harsh it is. i just want your hoest opinion...

Pepsi hoặc Coke?

Ha ha ha ha !!!
added by 27-5
added by McDreamyluva
added by 27-5