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posted by -Yusha-
Death came to a guy and said: "My friend today is your day."

Guy:"But I'm not ready!"
Then death said,"well your name is the tiếp theo on my list".

Guy:"Okay why don't bạn take a ghế, chỗ ngồi and I will get bạn something to eat before we go?".

Then death said,"all right"
The guy gave death some thực phẩm with sleeping pills in it, death finished eating and fell into a deep sleep.

The guy took the danh sách and removed his name from the hàng đầu, đầu trang of the danh sách and put it at the bottom of the list.

When death woke up he đã đưa ý kiến to the guy, "Because bạn have been so nice to me, I will start from the BOTTOM of the danh sách ..."

Moral of the story: - Whatever is written in your destiny ... Will never change no matter how much bạn try!!
added by Booyahboy
added by Booyahboy
posted by Juilet1234
Mittens.
They warm your hands, protect bạn from the cold. They're not a bad thing.
But imagine if for your whole life bạn wore heavy mittens. If bạn dial a phone, try to use a remote control, hoặc try to play a board game, you're still wearing mittens. Practically everything is much thêm difficult.
Right there.
Practically everything is much thêm difficult.
Remember that.
Now imagine this.
You're in a room with the TV on full volume. The radio is blaring loud, screeching music. The lights are flickering on and off. Everything bạn see is magnified, is a much bigger deal than it normally would...
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posted by Thecharliejay
Act like a spy / secret agent for the day
Act like bạn just met your friend for the first time
Act profound
Ad lib
Add some strawberries to your ice cream
Adopt strange mannerisms
Alphabetize the thực phẩm in your fridge
Announce your candidacy for President.
Annoy total strangers
Apply for a unicorn hunting license
Appreciate everything
Archive the Internet to 3.5" floppy disks (low density of course)
Arrest yourself
Ask a câu hỏi nobody can answer
Ask embarrassing questions
Ask for seconds
Ask people how to pronounce their name
Ask people if they want to see your “belly button treasure”
Ask...
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posted by pollydbookworm
*4 Boy friends*
>
> Once upon a time, there was this girl who had four
> boyfriends.
>
> She loved the 4th boyfriend the most and adored him with
> rich robes and
> treated him to the finest of delicacies. She gave him
> nothing but the best.
>
> She also loved the 3rd boyfriend very much and was always
> hiển thị him off
> to neighboring kingdoms. However, she feared that one
> ngày he would leave
> her for another.
>
> She also loved her 2nd boyfriend. He was her confidant and
> was always kind,
> considerate and patient with her. Whenever this girl faced...
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posted by dylin1
Time for some fun... LOL – Liên minh huyền thoại twss

Body: TEN THINGS ABOUT bạn
1. Are bạn single?
Yeah.

2. Are bạn happy about that?
no

3. Are bạn bored?
YES

4. Are bạn sad?
Nah.

5. Are bạn Italian?
No...

6. Are bạn pregnant?
HELL NO

8. Are bạn cool?
The coolest person you'll ever meet!!!

9. Are bạn Irish?
Yeah

10. Are your parents still married?
Nope

TEN FACTS
1. Full Name:
Madylin Sage Duce

2. What are your nicknames?
"that girl who ______" fill in the blank.

3. Birth place:
Whitehorse, Yukon, Canada

4. Hair color:
Light Brown.

5. Hair style:
sheiber

7. Birthday:
august 8, 97

8. Mood:
chill

9. yêu thích color:
black,white,blue,purple,red....
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474 Things To Do When You're Bored


- Wax the ceiling
- Rearrange political campaign signs
- Sharpen your teeth
- Play Houdini with one of your siblings
- Braid your dog's hair
- Clean and polish your belly button
- Water your dog...see if he grows
- Wash a tree
- Knight yourself
- Name your child Edsel
- Scare Stephen King
- Give your cat a mohawk
- Purr
- Mow your carpet
- Play Pat Boone records backwards
- Vacuum your lawn
- Sleep on a giường of nails
- DON'T toss and turn
- Boil ice cream
- Run around in squares
- Think of quadruple entendres
- Speak in acronyms
- Have your cái gối, gối X-rayed
- Drink straight shots...of...
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posted by xoPixie-Popxo
If you've never laid your eyes on these shows, YOU'RE DOING YOURSELF A FAVOR! Oh and feel free to add your own reasons bởi commenting below! I may include some of your ideas in this bài viết and I'll make sure to add your username! :D (Oh God I sound like an annoying advertisement.)
(Sorry for the long reasons!)

From Cartoonnetwork:

The Problem Solverz
-Poor animation. It looks like it's been drawn bởi a 7 năm old's foot with the lights out.
-I cannot understand ANYTHING that they're saying.
-What exactly is that brown guy? A block of poop?
(I would danh sách thêm reasons but I only saw the hiển thị for 2 seconds...
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posted by samuraibond005
I find homework to be arrogant and inefficient. Schools think they are so important that they can dictate whether hoặc not the kid can have time after school for other, also important things. yeah, we learned all this in class and some kids didn't get it, but first of all, it is not like nobody else in the class understood it, một giây of all, they won’t get it any better without a teacher to help, and third of all, if they care enough to get anything out of their education anyway, they will ask somebody for help.
Of course, there are classes in which homework makes sense, such as my AP world...
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posted by evangelinetom
101 Ways to
Annoy Your Roomate

1. Insist that bạn are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the giường holding your stomach every time your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say bạn know nothing about them.

2. Get some hair. Disperse it around your roommate's head while he/she is asleep. Keep a pair of scissors bởi your bed. Snicker at your roommate every morning.

3. Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as bạn can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep...
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posted by MarMar_XigLux
What Being a Retard Online can do for You

Being a retard online will bring bạn riches beyond your wildest dreams, hot girls and above all - attention: bạn crave attention, bạn absorb it like a wet sponge...Ah yes, bạn may very suffer from ADHD but it doesn't matter: no my friend, because bởi being a retard online bạn can get all the attention bạn need for a small fee.

Poor Literacy is Kool!

If bạn want to be a retard bạn must learn to spell like one, remember kids - poor literacy is cool! First of all we must take a lesson from the Image comics of old and remember that everything must be EXTREME!...
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posted by saphire1031
The history of Canada: Chapter 1

PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!Pudding...
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posted by ultimatefredde
1. Guys for gods sake, dont pretend being something bạn aren´t girls have a sixth sense we don´t have and find out sooner hoặc later

2. Dance!

3.Flirt, they aren´t the only ones who should do this.

4.Tell her what bạn really enjoy in life

5.Help them out when needed.

6.Avoid playing those "Gay games" with your pals, it´s just not right

7.avoid grabbing your "parts" on public. Really.

8.Be original, with gifts, don´t just give flowers, hoặc take her to dinner, also sometimes a card hoặc a simple walk in the park is good to try

9.Be romantic and take shyness away

10. Express your feelings, bạn wont die...
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posted by Tamar20
1. WRITE EVERYTHING IN huy hiệu LOCK OVERUSE huy hiệu LOCK! WHEN bạn REALLY SHOULD WRITE SOMETHING IN ALL huy hiệu THOUGH, USE ALL LOWERCASE LETTERS!

2. Don't use any punctuation.

3. Purposely spell things wrong and then get really upset when people don't understand you.

4. Overuse the comma, for example: "today, I, really, had, a, bad, day."

5. Use Sticky huy hiệu Capitalize every other letter.

6. Forget the grammar And when someone asks bạn what bạn mean just repeat it the exact same way.

7. Capitalize each word This annoys some people very, very much.

8. Use absolutely no vowels.

9. Answer every thing they say...
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posted by Tamar20
Have bạn ever wanted to annoy someone so bad that they want to kill you? Then this bài viết is right for you! Hahaha. bạn know I've tried most of them and it does work. :P

1. Use potty humor. Announce to them that bạn have to go to the bathroom, and that bạn think that they should go too, as they have been holding it in for quite a while. When they do go to the bathroom, call out to them things like: "Are bạn doing okay in there?". To make it even thêm annoying, if there are other people in the bathroom, proudly announce to them: "My friend is in there," pointing at the bathroom stall. When you...
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posted by merlinfanatic
Welcome to The Weakest Link.

Here is a very simple little test comprised of four các câu hỏi to determine the level of your intellect.
Your các câu trả lời must be spontaneous and immediate, with no deliberating hoặc wasting time.
And NO CHEATING. On your mark, set....GO!!!

1: bạn are competing in a race, and overtake the runner in một giây place.
In which position are bạn now?

Answer:
If bạn answered that you're now coming first then you're completely wrong. bạn overtook the một giây runner and took their place, therefore you're coming second.

For the tiếp theo câu hỏi try not to be so dumb.
2 : If bạn overtake the last...
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I was scrolling across deviantART, and came across this HIGHLY shocking news that everyone needs to know about right now!

We all know about copyright infringement and the numerous laws preventing us from using copyrighted material. Some sites and companies take these things very seriously if bạn do not have permission from đã đưa ý kiến company. But there are sites and companies that's only ask that bạn give credit where credit is due. Thankfully like DA.

Now, over the past few days I have just been strolling thru the Internet, visiting some of my fav sites to chill on, and every site has been posting...
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posted by emilyroxx
Okay, so everyone probably knows that Google has this thing where it tries to guess what
you’re searching bởi picking the most searched entries. Some of them are
kind of ridiculous, so I decided to have some fun with it. I typed in
“Are there,” closed my eyes, and picked a ngẫu nhiên letter of the alphabet.
Here were the results, and my answers:


First, I just put the results for “Are there.”

Are there aliens?
I think so.
Are there snakes in Ireland?
What do bạn mean are there snakes in Ireland?
Are there hổ in Africa?
Probably.
Are there snakes in Hawaii?
There are probably going to be snakes...
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posted by kinga10111
Your right lung is smaller than your left lung to make room for your heart.

No piece of square dry paper can be folded thêm than 7 times in half!

A group of geese on the ground is a gaggle, a group of geese in the air is a skein!

Over 2500 left handed people a năm are killed from using products made for right handed people!

There are thêm than 10 million bricks in the Empire State Building!

If bạn counted 24 hours a day, it would take 31,688 years to reach one trillion!

Taphephobia is the fear of being buried alive!

A cá sấu always grows new teeth to replace the old teeth!

The sun is 330,330 times...
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posted by Thecharliejay
100 Ways to Annoy People
1.Get to know a Những người bạn bookie and place bets for them. Insist on keeping half of any money they win.
2.Accuse people of "glue sniffing addictions" in public.
3.Call other people "Champ" hoặc "Tiger.". Refer to yourself as "Coach."
4.Drum on every available surface.
5.Sing the Người dơi theme incessantly.
6.Staple papers together in the middle of the page.
7.Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
8.Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.
9.Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
10.Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
11.Insist on giving...
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