So let's say you're talking to your Những người bạn and gesturing wildly, and because you're not paying attention, bạn manage to honk some part of a passing stranger's anatomy that is traditionally covered bởi underpants; spinning around to apologize, bạn instead topple down a staircase and faceplant into a wedding cake, whereupon bạn realize that your pants are unbuttoned. Would this be
a.) the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to bạn hoặc
b.) a Tuesday?
Everyone's awkward from time to time, but until now it's been impossible to determine, numerically, just how awkward bạn are.
Well, this Awkwardness Test is as numerical as they get, because it has numbers, and it's hard to mess up, even if bạn are still covered in wedding cake. All bạn need to do is add a point if one of these situations has happened to bạn in the past month.
•You start to tell a joke ("So this con vịt, vịt walks into a library..."). It turns out to be terribly inappropriate. ("Hey, my brother's in the hospital because of ducks!")
•Impossibly, someone bạn have a crush on sits down to say hello to bạn at lunch. bạn have just crammed an entire cupcake in your mouth.
•Walking down the street, bạn gradually become aware that bạn have no idea how to lung lay, swing your arms.
•You gleefully shoulder your way into a whispered conversation, expecting it to be about juicy gossip. It is about a dead grandma.
•Nobody is laughing at your hilarious story. bạn panic and keep embellishing until it has killer bees in it.
•You spend far too much time on a text hoặc email exactly flirty and suggestive enough to send to your new SO. bạn promptly mis-send it to your mom.
•You rush around a blind corner and plow directly into someone cute. Sobbing is involved. Someone requires stitches.
•You text someone with the kind of casual joke-insults bạn typically use with close friends. Your message is taken too sincerely.
•Attempting to be fun, bạn grievously wound someone; e.g. your no-look behind-the-back pass breaks your best friend's glasses hoặc face. Add an additional point if your pass misses your friend and ricochets off a baby.
•"Hi, (Firstname!)" some good friend says to you. bạn respond: "Oh, hey, ...uh...." giây pass. Oh my goodness, bạn think to yourself. Caitlin? Carl? Captain Crunch? I have absolutely no idea what this person's name is. (Add an additional point if all the possible các câu trả lời collapse
together in your head and come out as something that could not possibly be a name, e.g. "Hi... Clourtleen?")
Tally up your points, one per situation.
0: Impossibly slick. Wow, bạn are the smoothest person we know! AT LYING, PROBABLY.
1-2: Cool and composed. bạn are the equivalent of putting on sunglasses and walking away in slow motion.
3-7: Ordinary. You're no thêm hoặc less awkward than the tiếp theo person, assuming the tiếp theo person is not Michael Cera.
8-10: Michael Cera. You're awkward enough that it has become endearing. Consider a film career.
11-12: Michael Cera tripping into a waiter carrying tray of pies. bạn are the essence of bumbling awkwardness. Purchase good insurance immediately. link