If bạn try to fail, and succeed, which have bạn done?

....

Well, hypothetically, if bạn were in say, a talent show, and bạn wanted to lose, bạn would intentionally screw up (i.e. hát badly). Then bạn wouldn't win, therefore meeting your goals. So if losing is what bạn wanted to do the whole time, I'd say bạn suceeded.

You've fucked up in the best way possible.

bạn failed epicly?

bạn succeeded in failing. Which is oposite of failing to succeed. :)

Then your just đít, mông, ass backwards XD