I have a contest for bạn bored people of fanpop!

this was the funniest one I could find.

When life gives bạn lemons, throw them at old people!

In Harry potter instead of saying pulling my leg they say 'pulling my wand!!'

Friendship is like peeing in water it gives bạn that warm feeling - some ngẫu nhiên website

Or

bạn laugh I laugh bạn cry I cry bạn jump off a cliff Iz miss ur funny emails.

When life gives bạn lemons, throw them at Justin Bieber.

Not trying to be mean, I just thought it was funny.

Shanaynay, ftw! XD

All of these are from "The Princess Bride".

-"Life IS pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something."

-"He's right on hàng đầu, đầu trang of us. I wonder if he is using the same wind we are using."

-"I do not mean to pry, but bạn don't bởi any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?"
"Do bạn always begin conversations this way?"

-"We'll never survive!"
" Nonsense. You're only saying that because no one ever has."

-"thank bạn so much for bringing up such a painful subject. While you're at it, why don't bạn give me a nice paper cut and pour chanh nước ép, nước trái cây on it?"

-"She is alive, hoặc was an giờ ago. If she is otherwise when I find her I shall be very put out."

-"Ha, your pig fiance is too late!"

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship." :D

"Look At Me With My Pretty Bracelet And Tiara..I'm A Fuckin' Princess!" - Gerard Way

When mad, take a deep breath and count to ten.
When REALLY mad, swear and throw things at people.

- Benjamin Franklin

1.friendship is like peeing bạn pants..
everyone can see but only bạn can feel its warmth

2.if búp bê barbie isnt a sl** then why do we have to buy her boyfriends

*Gasp* What's that on yo face? *Slaps you* AAAHHHH!! How could I have possibly forget?!It was pain!!

Got acne? Ask your girlfriend what to do, oh yea u don't have A girlfriend

COOL WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH!
COOL WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH!

If at first bạn don't succeed, then skydiving is not for you.

My personal favorite.

These are trích dẫn from the stories I'm đọc "And Romeo Forgot His Lines" and "Mixed Dorms, Student/Teacher Relations Are Aloud, And Sex Ed Is A Core Subject. Welcome To High School?"

Any way the trích dẫn are:
Great. He's 6 years old and he's already gay.
333 I'm only half evil

1. if bạn want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.

2. Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.

funny video he my friend got owned for being an moron lol.

Boing, boing boing! Even bigger than a boeing, boeing boeing!

A,B,C,D,E,F,G gummy bears are chasing me one is Red one is Blue one is trying to take my shoe and now im running for my life cuz the Red one has a dao, con dao LOL – Liên minh huyền thoại this is true

"Oh my god, I found it!"
"What, your virginity?"
"No, I Mất tích that YEARS ago."

XDD

I bet bạn thought that I was awfully sweet.
Well, bạn thought wrong.
I bet bạn thought I was an angel.
well, bạn thought wrong.
Hm, should of changed your mind before I raped bạn and lấy trộm, đánh cắp your lungs.

"Um dude, what are bạn doing?"
"I'm trying to get down there!" *points to a ledge below*
"Oh, well, that's hard."
*groans* "No!" *tries to get down*
"Dude, I think bạn should go with climbing down those wires-"
"No!" *is on his stomach and reaches down over the ledge*
"Dude, dude, look at your options-"
*groans*
"Look at your options, go with the better option."
*tries to get down but fails, smashing his head and legs against the bottom ledge and falls to his death*
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...."


Stupid, but I'm being as funny as I can. XD

Last night I lay in giường looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

1. When life gives bạn lemons, throw them at people bạn hate.

2. Teacher:"Class, can bạn see God? No. Can bạn hear God? No. So there is no God!"
Christian student:"Techer, can bạn see your brain? No. Can bạn hear your brain? No. So bạn have no brain!"

3. Child: "Teacher may i go to the bathroom?"
Teacher: "First say your ABC's."
Child: "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOQRSTUVWXYZ"
Teacher: "Where's the P?"
Child: "Trckling down mg leg!"

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz

What bạn call dog with no legs?
Don't matter what bạn call him, he ain't gonna come.

"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together."

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Những người bạn r like potatos , u eat them they die :D


sora97

Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

Wal-Mart. Do they like make walls there hoặc something?-Paris Hilton

BAD SPELLERS OF THE WORLD UNTIE!

Blonde:What does 'IDK' mean?
Boy:I don't know!

Teacher:"Class, can bạn see God? No. Can bạn hear God? No. So there is no God!"
Christian student:"Techer, can bạn see your brain? No. Can bạn hear your brain? No. So bạn have no brain!"

Anna: [drugged] I feel like a cá heo who's never tasted melted snow. What does the color blue taste like? Bobo knows? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! I must speak with the dolphins now. Eeeee-eeee-eee-eeeeeee!
-Hudson Hawk

Its ngẫu nhiên and plus you've never seen the movie so its funny right?

"A guy walks up to me and asks 'What's Punk?'. So I kick over a garbage can and say 'That's punk!'. So he kicks over the garbage can and says 'That's Punk?', and I say 'No that's trendy!"

My friend found a possum eating her breakfast this morning. She was about to throw it out, then my other friend started to eat it O_O Not THAT funny, I just wanted to see how anyone would react to my daily life. XD

I have 2 A friend will bail bạn out of jail a true friend will be right tiếp theo to bạn saying "man we really fucked up!"

Gtg btw I was hát raise your glass in a store today and I sang " call me up if bạn r gangsta" and this 32 yr old looked at me and my mom pretended to kick his ass
 ~JJ~ 

A few from my yêu thích hiển thị (okay sorry a lot, but you're thêm likely to find a funny one with more).

Louis: *over phone* So you’re having a baby, must feel really special. Course there are over six billion people in the world, every one of them was a baby so when bạn put it in perspective how special can bạn be?
Damon: *Looks over, sees Louis sitting at his bàn three feet away talking on phone, plays along* We’ve had serious infertility issues.
Louis: And I’m moved I truly am moved, but if that cell phone goes off in my presence again you’re going to have serious career issues. Also I don’t like bạn very much. *sits cell phone down looks up, pops pen. Speaks as if nothing is odd.* Check on James Burke?

Damon: Am I always gonna be that guy that got shot on his first ngày on homicide?
Louis: Uh, I knew this cop back in New York, một giây week on the job there was a shootout. He comes up to me after, he’s all panicked cause he wet his pants, doesn’t want anybody to find out cause he knows he’ll never live it down, but I realized it wasn’t urine on his pants it was blood. So I tell him he got shot and he was very happy to find out that news.
Damon: So you’re saying it could have been worse, I could of pissed my pants?

Louis: Did bạn touch my scorpion?
Damon: No
Louis: Well somebody did. When I left the stinger was pointing north and now it’s the other way.
Damon: Fine, I picked it up.
Louis: Why would bạn do that?
Damon: Look at your desk, bạn got a computer and a phone, not a single personal artifact, then that thing appears. How am I not gonna pick it up?
Louis: bạn control yourself like a grown man.
Damon: Come on.
Louis: If bạn touch anything on my bàn I will chop off your hands, I’ll lock them in the gun safe!
Damon: *disturbed* Roger that. *Looks at Ariana who just shrugs.*

Ariana: Your shooter must have been Jonesing pretty bad, he threw up everywhere.
Louis: That wasn’t the shooter. *nods towards Damon*
Ariana: No way.
Louis: Way

hmmm
I reject your reality and substitute it with my own

credit to my rei~chan, he keeps telling me that, along with ending every sentence with "on this the ngày of my daughters wedding"

"People they die when they are killed."

q,w,e,r,t,y,u,i,o,p,a,s,d,f,g,h,j,k,l,z,x,c,v,b,n, and m, now i know my qwert's! PANDAS!!!!!!

i worry about my short attention span-but not for long.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people

Behind every chó cái, bitch is a man that made her that way.

I smile because I have no idea what's going on.


woman in bathroom: *washing hands*
other woman: did bạn even use the bathroom?
woman1:nope.
woman2: then why are bạn washing your hands?
woman1: *stops and goes to dryer.* Bacon, here I come!!!

A good friend helps bạn up when bạn fall...
A BEST friend burts out laughing, trips bạn again, and continues to laugh.

1.While creating husbands, God promised women that good and ideal husbands would be found in all corners of the world................. Then he made the world round -_-

2. I was shopping at the local siêu thị where I bought milk, bread, eggs, trái cam, màu da cam juiceand beef.
As I was unloading my iteams on the conveyor, the drunk standing behind me đã đưa ý kiến "You must be single".
I was a bit confused but was intrigued bởi his declaration since I indeed haven't found Mr Right.
I looked at the items on the belt. Nothing that was particularly unusual hoặc would tell a drunk I was single.
Curiosity got the better of me so I asked "How on earth did bạn know that?"
The drunk replied... "Cause your ugly!"

3.A teacher was explaining biology to her 4th grade class. "Humans are the only động vật that stutter" she said.
A little girl raised her ahnd and đã đưa ý kiến "I had a kitty that stuttered once.
The teacher knowing how precious childrens stories are, asked the girl to describe the incident.
"Well" she begun "I was in the backyard with my kitty when the tiếp theo door neighbours rottweiler jumped the fence!"
"That must have been scary!" đã đưa ý kiến the teacher.
"It was" đã đưa ý kiến the girl "My kitty raised her back, went Fffffff Ffffff Ffffff but before she could say fuck off the rottwieler ate her!"

Hahahaha i think these are hilarious XD

bạn cry, I cry, bạn laugh, I laugh, bạn fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

They say people don't kill people, súng do, so the tiếp theo time I fail a test I can blame my pencil.

<3

There were 2 cousins:a little boy and a little girl.the girl was staying with her couisinn tht night.the mom drew a bath and the 2 young kids got in."Don't look down"said the boy.The girl looked down and said,"What's Tht?""Thts Snakey đã đưa ý kiến the boy.Later tht night they went to bed.The tiếp theo morning blood was on the sheets."What Happened?"asked the boy.the gurl said,"Snakey sprayed me so I bit him off"

People are like slinkies. Basically useless, yet it's so amusing to watch them fall down stairs.

Here's a comic about one of my greatest fears. Terrifying, isn't it?

1.hard work never killed anyone but why take the chance?

2.the world is going to hell and im driveing the bus

In 70 years Willow Smith will be singing
" I rock my chair back and forth"

It made me laugh XD

"When life give bạn lemons bạn throw them back and scream:GIVE ME SOME SKITTLES BITCH!

hoặc

bạn cry I cry.

Helth thực phẩm my be good four bạn but but chips and Sô cô la taste bettera