Inspired bởi this quote:
"We have a lot of conflict, believe me. And their conflict is very interesting b/c it's very internal. There's no real outward obstacles. It's a lot of their own minds colliding with each other. Her not wanting to give in. Him being a playboy and not being able to fall for her completely. And then when he does, he doesn't hiển thị it and when she does, he shuns it, and all these things. So it's very real life..."
-Leighton Meester (on the CB situation, season 2)
At first when I read this quote I was overjoyed, cause I finally REALLY understood what was going on between them, but over time I got severly depressed...b/c if they go to these lengths and Chuck helps to make Serena Queen B and Serena is officially ditching Blair and Nate is too into his messed up world of Katherine & Vanessa...who does Blair have left? Marcus would've left her bởi now, b/c as many chances as he gives her he can't remain oblivious forever...and he doesn't really understand her, so even she will probably eventually get rid of him. Jenny...HAHA! Riiight. After their history, I highly doubt she would be there for Blair. And Chuck has stolen Dan away, so he can't be any help to Blair either. So...I got very angry over this and as much as I tình yêu Chuck, I am totally team Blair on this one. I mean, Blair does a lot of mean things...but Chuck always outdoes them and just really doesn't think. I think Blair plans these things out to get Chuck back, but Chuck just gets a wounded pride and wants to hurt her, not really thinking about it till afterwards. So, I wrote this fic and I was sooooo depressed when I wrote it, so if bạn get depressed that's why. Heh. This fic is meant to hiển thị their back-forth action and how they both really do care for each other but they're trying to get back at each other at the same time...so they give into each other a lot, but then they get defensive...and it's just a real dramatic outlook on that. Blair has come to the end of her rope once again...and literally has nowhere else to turn...and...she comes to Chuck, once again...and...well, read on. ;p
"Why do bạn think I wanted bạn to say it?"
"Why?!" she stepped phía trước, chuyển tiếp and smacked him across the face.
He lifted up a hand to smooth where the slap still sung. She pulled his hand down in a fast motion & pulled back his fingers, till he was forced to pull away.
"Because I tình yêu you, bạn Basstard!!" she whispered his name.
He looiked at her sincerely, still not knowing what to do. "No matter what I say hoặc do, I keep coming back to bạn and believe me, it's not just for the sex."
He looked as though he took offense to her words, but he pushed it aside, and straightened his shirt.
She stepped phía trước, chuyển tiếp and took his hands in her own. He recoiled a little bit, but then gently held her hands as he saw the tears streaming down her face.
"Chuck, I want you!" she said.
He attempted to smile but then flashbacked to when she had made the same declaration to Marcus. He fiercely let go of her hands and stomped across the room, only turning around when he got to the wall, not even stopping to notice her heartbroken face. "Well, maybe, I don't want to be with you," he said, solemnly staring and then he turned away.
Blair sniffled and walked towards him in a tim, trái tim beating rush. "You don't meant that!"
He shook his head in an effort to get her away, but she clung to his arms and grasped his broad shoulders in a desperate motion. "Don't leave me again, Chuck. Oh God, please don't."
He threw her off of him, until she came smashing onto the floor, physically unharmed, emotionally scarred.
"You were always there for me when I needed bạn and even when bạn completely desert me, I keep crawling back, because only bạn and I work!"
He wouldn't acknowledge her. "I don't do relationships, Blair. I'm a playboy. I'm...," he paused, "Chuck Bass," he added with sarcasm.
She gasped, hardly being able to take in his words. "So, bạn lied to me all year? And all this time when it would've appeared bạn were fighting for me?" She stood up.
His mouth opened, but only a sigh came out. "I lie to every girl I sleep with. What makes bạn think you're any different?"
She was taken in shock and her eyes narrowed, avoiding the downfall of tears. She walked phía trước, chuyển tiếp and smacked the smug look right off his face. She huffed a little. He stayed looking at the ground in the direction the cái tát, đánh đập, smack had taken him. "Because, Chuck Bass," she spat, "was ALWAYS satisfied bởi one night stands, until I came along."
He wouldn't look at her.
"And I highly doubt bạn were lying to Nate when bởi way of apology bạn told him bạn were in tình yêu with me."
Now it was his turn to look shocked. He directed his gaze to her. "Blair, I..."
"Save it," she snapped. "I gave bạn your tim, trái tim & I can take it away. I'm already half way there."
He was Nữ hoàng băng giá again, as she grabbed her cái ví, ví tiền and headed for the door. Her tears had dried bởi now and when he locked the door, so she couldn't get out, nothing but pure evil rested in her eyes. "Let me out," she demanded.
"I won't let bạn go," he đã đưa ý kiến softly. But bởi now she wouldn't even consider the declaration she had craved before.
"I"m sick of trying to make it work, Chuck. bạn have proved me the biggest moron in the world for falling for a sick-mided, self-absorbed pervert like you."
He gulped. "I was just hurt."
Up until this point she had been staring at the door, still trying to get out. But now she turned to look at him. "How can I know any of what bạn are anymore? bạn just declared any ounce of tình yêu bạn might've felt was a complete lie!" A tear renewed itself on her damp cheeks, and all malice was gone from her wounded soul.
He laid his hands gently on her shoulders and the gently floated them down to her hands. He intertwined them. She wanted to stop the motion, but could not. He kissed her forehead and she began to cry...tears of confusion.
"God, Chuck..." she tensed.
He breathed in and out slowly for awhile, but it thickened and he lowered his lips upon her own. She let him at first, but then her hands clenched and she pulled away, facing towards the door again. "I can't do this anymore, Chuck!" She pounded her hand into the wooden frame and he watched as it fell to her side. Neither of them could di chuyển for what seemed like forever. So much anger and hurt etched across their faces.
"Blair..." he moved phía trước, chuyển tiếp again. He pulled her to him, her face still directed towards the door. He tenderly held his arms around her waist. They began to sway and she let her head fall back into his neck. He breathed in her sweet scent and began to hum.
"If bạn asked me to sleep with bạn right now, I would do it," she said. He stopped humming and turned her around. His fingers grazed her hips. "I am so broken, Chuck." She looked at him, and he to her and he brought his fingers to lie in her hands instead. "I would sleep with you, just to be near you. I have...nothing...left."
He let go of her hands and stepped back several feet in disbelief. What had he done to her? It had all just been payback. But why hadn't Serena been there to get her back on her feet? Why hadn't somebody? He looked back to Blair, standing there only as a skeleton of what once existed in that beautiful soul he loved. He was in disbelief, shock and complete shame. He walked up to her and held her head in his hands. "What have I done to you?"
A tear slid down her face. "Nothing, I deserved it."
"Where is that bold, beautiful woman I fell in tình yêu with?"
She looked up at him. "What?" she asked. A cá đuối, ray of hope shone through her blackened eyes. It was shot away in an instant.
"You are nothing to me now," he said.
"What?" she blinked, the scare returning.
"You're desperate, low of self esteem & crawling to me for sex? That is anything but attractive and I don't sleep with unsatisfying women."
Her eyes widened. Her eyes could not produce any thêm tears. She could say nothing. It was just like that night at the Palace Bar, except nobody was there to save her. Even Serena was against her now. She had never been so hurt, so alone, felt so dejected, in her entire life.
Chuck just stood there. A million thoughts racing through his head. How could both of their attitudes, desires, gestures changed SO much in such a small amount of time? It just didn't make sense. He looked to Blair who had fallen helplessly to the floor. Her eyes almost appeared to be glazed over. He sighed and restrained himself from crying. He didn't mean anything he just said. It was an act of pride of power, of something...but he didn't want it anymore. After several long moments, he walked over, bent down and picked her up. She appeared lifeless as he cradled her in his arms.
He took her into his bedroom down the hall and laid her softly beneath the covers of his bed. He slipped her shoes off and laid them tiếp theo to his in the corner of the room. He kissed her forehead and her eyes fluttered shut, though she appeared to be shaking from his touch. Guilt took over him, followed bởi a determined conviction that he would never cause her to hurt so much again. He had finally fallen for her and it was about time he started to hiển thị it. He lay in the giường tiếp theo to her and after somet ime, he could feel her relaxing, as she brought her head to rest of his chest. She sighed breaths of relief. He sighed too. "I'm sorry, Blair," he whispered. "You didn't deserve any of this." She yawned quietly and he smiled. "Just when I was getting sentimental."
She nestled herself deep in his arms, and for what had been months, did not feel threatened. "I tình yêu you, Chuck," she sighed, drifting off to sleep.
"I tình yêu bạn too," he spoke, into the darkness, but she was already asleep.