All in good fun, I have compiled a danh sách of why voting for the papa-amazondebs campaign for president is a mistake, and why voting for the Cinders-DrDevience campaign will be a decision bạn won't regret. This danh sách is meant to be amusing, and is not supposed to be offensive to anyone. It may have just a touch of slander, but hey, bạn think politicians REALLY run clean campaigns all the time? ;o)

1) First of all, how about that title? papa-debs? Even papa-amazondebs. It sounds an awful lot like "Papa Smurf" doesn't it, folks? The truth of the matter is that papa and debs are NOT as fanpopalicious (or fanpapalicious depending on which region of Fanpopdom bạn hail from) as they appear to be. The truth is, they are secret smurf supporters! And none of us want the smurfs to be in power, do we? Traitors!

2) How about the suspicious lack of capitalization to both of their names, eh? What does this say about the candidates' commitment to the job? How important is this to them, if they didn't think their names were important enough to capitalize? For shame!

3) Let's not forget that papa has shown dictatorial leanings in the past. How much does he really support the democratic system? How long will it be before he changes the tiêu đề of "president" to "world leader" or, worse yet, "Sole leader of all things Fanpop!" Only it won't be "Fanpop" anymore-- it will be "Fanpapa!"

4) And how about that suspicious military record? Amazondebs claims to have partaken in the War on Trolls, but she has been AWOL for quite some time now. Is she ditching her patriotic duty?

5) Where do they stand on the issues? Neither debs nor papa have made a public statement on what they intend to do to personally improve your daily life.

6) Unlike papa-debs, Cinders cordially promises to be your personal best friend for her whole term, and bạn may call on her whenever bạn want to. bạn have permission to impress people at parties bởi saying, "I know the president, personally" and if anyone asks Cinders to corroborate, she pledges to say that this is true.

7) Cinders and DrDevience also pledge to be constantly vigilant when it comes to national security. We will each personally continue to fight the War on Trolls, the War on Stupidity, and the War on Chat Speak and Poor Grammar. Do bạn have a stupid, chat-speaking troll on your doorstep and bạn don't know how to make it go away? Call on Cinders and DrDevience to save the day!

8) As a die-hard người hâm mộ of the thảo luận Spot, and a dedicated người hâm mộ of Human Rights, Cinders knows the controversial issues that are closest to your heart. And she will take up your cause, all bạn need to do is ask. She will listen to your complaints and she will fight for you.

9) The healing and happy powers of Cinders famous bánh quy, cookie are now yours to experience whenever bạn please, as whoever sự bỏ phiếu for Cinders gets a life time supply of bánh quy, cookie to have whenever they want.

10) Cinders pledges to eloquently write all of her own speeches and campaign promises, and she also pledges to start paying all her interns and giving them benefits, not to mention free bánh quy, cookie whenever they want them. Interns will get paid vacation, full dental, health, trang chủ owner's, car and life insurance. She pledges to stop having DrDevience beat her interns with her cane until the interns write a decent speech for her. She also pledges not to ngọn lửa, chữa cháy all of her interns after she finishes đọc this speech. If she's not too hung over.

So there bạn have it. Ten reasons to vote for Cinders and DrDevience and NOT papa and amazondebs, written bởi the brilliantly eloquent Cinders herself... xin chào wait a minute, what's that about interns?