Is it THAT HARD TO WRITE A STORY ABOUT A FAST HEDGEHOG!??!?!?!?!?!
The actual tiêu đề is called, "Sonic and Tails and Knuckles go fishing." which is just horrible grammar to ignore commas.
bạn know a người hâm mộ fiction is going to be AMAZING when there is even an error IN THE GODDAMN TITLE! >.<
Please, just shoot me now! I quit! I give up on my life, now please let me go!
......Fine, I'll review this....
Besides, it's not like me to do that anyways. BUT, I am warning you. People like this exist, people that write such horrid stories and call it a người hâm mộ fiction.... It blows my mind! And today, I crush one of the worst ones out there.
It's time to look at, "Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles go fishing." And bởi the way, I will cuss quite a bit, so if that bothers you, please leave now.
And once again, the source, which is here,
Won't let me copy paste, which makes this review SO MUCH thêm FUN. :D And to make it as painful as possible, this người hâm mộ fiction has TONS of run-on sentences, so yeah.
But enough screwing around.... Let's tear this story apart, molecule bởi molecule.
"Sonic the hedgehog was a hedgehog."
*Facepalm* Are bạn SERIOUS!? Do bạn think we're STUPID!? FIRST F**KING LINE INTO THIS AND I AM ALREADY RAGING!
Jesus this review is going to take forever.....
"Tails was a cáo, fox who had two tails and could fly with them."
Guys, if bạn don't know, this is called filler. Filler serves no other purpose than to make the movie/fanfiction/book/etc seem longer than it really is.
At least we aren't at the porn yet....
"Knuckles was an echidna and had a scary four headed pe*is but nobody made fun of him for it because it was pimp and if they did he'd cú đấm their teeth out anyway because he was a gangsta and had huge fists with giant spikes on them."
I don't even need to bình luận guys, WHAT THE HELL WAS THIS GUY THINKING!? WHAT DRUGS WAS HE ON WHEN HE WAS MAKING THIS!?
All of them folks, all the drugs.
That one sentence (That shouldn't even be one sentence because the writer didn't know where to put the period so he made it all one sentence hoping to fool us.) Sums up everything I hate about people.
Gangsta is an immature word that people think is cool, porn is of course ALWAYS FUNNY to teenage stereotypes, and violence is always all the rage nowadays.
And of course right when I say, "At least we aren't at the porn yet." We get to it.
Let's just di chuyển on before I FUCKING AIM A ROCKET LAUNCHER AT THE NEAREST HUMAN BEING.
"They had all joined up to go on a fun outdoor fishing trip together in the Leafy Forest Zone where there was a nice big lake."
Oh my god, a sentence that isn't filler hoặc demented as all hell in a bad porn người hâm mộ fiction?
(I tình yêu that running gag, so get used to it. :D And don't worry, I won't spam it.)
(Spam....Now I just made myself hungry. D;)
"They were all hiking to the camping spot they were going to camp in."
NO SHIT SHERLOCK.
"Sonic was mad because he could just run really fast and be there already but the others were slow so he had to slow down and wait for them and they wanted to hike slowly because it was thêm fun so Sonic was really mad and bored."
WHY CAN'T SONIC JUST GRAB THEIR HANDS AND START RUNNING TO GET THERE QUICKER?
And how many fucking times are bạn going to type in the word, "And."?
And dude, USE PERIODS!!!!!!!!!!
Even the most hardcore Sonic người hâm mộ would notice this shit! And if this is going to be the modern generation of people, then the earth is screwed.
"He was also hot because it was 90 degrees out so he kept drinking all the soda and water."
So what, are they in a desert now? hoặc maybe just in a city where it's hot? In that case bạn don't NEED water hoặc soda to stay hydrated because in the city water fountains and shade are EVERYWHERE!
Can bạn at least tell me what's 9+10?!?!?! >:(
"21! :D" Says chó Bower, the tác giả of this shitty story.
"Tails was lugging a huge backpack on his back because he was too excited and packed all his belongings and many things he did not need to take but he took them anyway."
Corrections: WE FUCKING KNOW THE BACKPACK IS ON HIS BACK, why would somebody carry a backpack for nothing when they're excited, and did not should be spelled as didn't.
And of course, DUDE USE PERIODS! SERIOUSLY, I LEARNED THIS STUFF IN MY GODDAMN PRESCHOOL DAYS AND NOBODY CAN DO IT RIGHT WHEN nghề viết văn A 4 một phút STORY!
WHATEVER HAPPENED TO EDITING!?!? DID THEY JUST NOT FUCKING CARE!?!? AAAAAUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Static* Jared is experiencing emotional problems, we'll be right back! ^__^
*Sigh* Let's di chuyển on....
"He was also carrying Knuckles' backpack was too pimp to carry heavy shit around like a bitch."
Pimp? Really? And correct me if i'm wrong, but I think he didn't use the ' mark right...
And of course, thêm bad stereotype humor because WHY NOT!? :D
At this point the tác giả was so fucking drunk that he could barely see the keyboard.
"He was carrying all the fishing rods. Sonic was carrying the cooler."
He used periods! OH MY GOD! :D
Too bad he used them WRONG BECAUSE HE COULD'VE EASILY COMBINED THAT SENTENCE WITH ONE COMMA!
Like this, *Knuckles was carrying all the fishing rods, while Sonic was carrying the cooler.*
And of course, I like bananas because bananas are tasty.
STOP USING THE SAME WORD IN A SENTENCE TWICE!
If I point out every single problem with this người hâm mộ fiction we'll be here all day.....
"When are we going to get there Sonic?"
PLEASE don't tell me this is going to be like Shrek 2....
Flashback: *Are we there yet? How about now? How about now? Are we there yet? Are we even halfway there? How about now?*
I HAVE A BAD FEELING ABOUT THIS. O____O
"Asked Tails who was sweating because it was so hot and he had all that lông, lông thú and was carrying heavy backpacks full of equipment."
Is carrying the only word this guy knows? Because it really IS starting to get on my nerves.
And Tails, bạn chose to haul (Another word for Carry that took me one một giây to think of.) That backpack, and for no reason, so suffer for it.
Oh I keep forgetting, it's not Tails fault, it's the fucking authors fault.
He is nghề viết văn this SPECIFICALLY to ruin our childhoods isn't he? So many *Writers* do this nowadays and it ticks me off!
If bạn want to do shit like this, THEN KILL YOURSELF, GO TO HELL, AND HAVE FUN THERE.
And yes I am using the * marks because the quotation marks, ", are used for the story.
I don't want to confuse my audience, unlike every bad người hâm mộ fiction out there.
"My feet hurt."
bạn are wearing shoes aren't you? And from what I can tell bạn haven't been walking for that long.
Well, once again folks, I am going to have to tell bạn guys to THROW THAT PRECIOUS BEAUTIFUL WORD LOGIC OUT THE NEAREST GODDAMN WINDOW BECAUSE THIS IS ANOTHER người hâm mộ FICTION THAT MAKES NO SENSE AND THINKS IT'S FUNNY FOR IT.
And it may seem like I am overreacting a bit, but that's only because I have seen the end of this người hâm mộ fiction already....
And it is NOT pretty.
Also, I typed in, *Is NOT* Because I wanted to make my point thêm clear.
Sorry if I sound like your 2nd grade teacher but LORD KNOWS that people nowadays are thêm stupid then my locker at school.
Locker: *Chews my thanksgiving break homework*
Me: o___O HEY! GET BACK HERE! >:(
Locker: Hah! Chomp Chomp CHOMP! >:D
*Static* Jared is now experiencing temporary insanity and madness, we'll be right back! :)
Yeah, I feel bad for bạn if your friend logic is still in your room đọc this.
Logic: *Peeks at what I'm writing*
Me: Hey, no looking!
Let's di chuyển on and get this over with, because bởi now I have that rocket launcher I mentioned earlier aimed perfectly at someone's house.
Me: *Putting in thêm rockets* Hehehehe....
I hope Ryan wants his giáng sinh present early...
(What the hell did I do to this review? o_O Moving on, at last....)
"We'll get there when we get there. It's not my fault bạn two are slow."
Once again dude, COMMAS! >.<
"I could've been there already and set up our tents and been hauling in huge cá bởi now," đã đưa ý kiến Sonic back to Tails."
There is so many problems with this one paragraph.
1. AndAndAndANDANDANDAND Jesus DUDE STOP SAYING AND!
2. Sonic, bạn don't have to be such a jerk. Besides, isn't this the point of đọc a người hâm mộ fiction? To read a fun fan-made story about people having fun? NOT FUCKING SPENDING A MILLENNIUM ARGUING!?
I hear enough of that in real life, WHAT makes bạn think this is entertaining in the SLIGHTEST!?
3. And this guy clearly doesn't know how to use quotation marks and when.
Can bạn guys believe I don't even think I am HALFWAY through this yet and THIS REVIEW IS ALREADY LONGER THAN THE ENTIRE GODFATHER TRILOGY AND THE ZELDA TIMELINE COMBINED!?
This is easily the most horrible người hâm mộ fiction I've reviewed so far. Not the worst, but it has the most problems.
"He finished another can of soda and threw it on the ground."
Because LITTERING IS SO FUNNY ISN'T IT? :D
And no audience, I am not being a buzz kill, this is just a guy nghề viết văn a bad người hâm mộ fiction thinking bad things like FUCKING RAPE are funny as hell. Don't bạn see ANYTHING wrong there, chó Bower!?
"Stop complaining Tails."
Maybe if your garbage người hâm mộ fiction was better I WOULD.
"If your feet hurt then why don't bạn just fly?"
In the words of Mr. Enter, a certain You-tuber who reviews animations, Pointing out your problems DOESN'T FREAKING FIX THEM!
I don't KNOW WHY Tails won't fly, the tác giả easily could've made him, but he decided not to because....
*Jeopardy theme plays*
I have no fucking clue.
"Said Knuckles and hit Tails on the head. Ow! Yelled Tails."
This. Is. So. Mother. F**king. BORING.
It's moments like this that make me think this would be a lot better if it was an animation, but when bạn put things like this in a story/book, it's just....
Well, *Looks up thêm words for boring*
IT'S FUCKING BORING.
(Google why do bạn fail me?)
"Because all this stuff makes it too heavy for me to get off the ground, he complained."
1. STOP COMPLAINING, THIS IS SO PAINFUL TO READ ALREADY! >.<
2. Knuckles, why don't bạn NOT be a mother fucker and help Tails out?
I don't CARE if you're the biggest douche on Douche-bag Alley, IF bạn WANT TO GET TO THE CAMPING SPOT FASTER THEN GET OFF YOUR LAZY A** AND HELP HIM!
These characters are thêm stale than the old crackers in my cabinet!
Last opened 2004.
"You need to work out thêm and eat less than! Laughed Sonic, stuffing his face with thực phẩm from the cooler."
How on Earth does not eating get bạn stronger?
chó BOWER bạn STUPID SORRY SON OF A BITCH.
And WHY is every character in this half-assed story such a bully?
I don't know guys...I don't know.
"Sonic, don't eat the thực phẩm yet hoặc we won't have any to camp with!"
That just sounds strange to me. "We won't have any thực phẩm to camp with." Error anyone?
WHY IS THERE SO MUCH COMPLAINING IN THIS STORY!? And what an insult to Tails fans, having him be this goddamn irritating.
Pretty much this entire story was meant to piss off the Sonic community anyways.
"Yeah, don't drink all the beverages either! đã đưa ý kiến Knuckles madly."
It's not funny story, IT NEVER WILL BE.
There is NO alternate timeline in ANY universe, galaxy, dimension, hoặc period of existence where this story could EVER be entertaining IN THE SLIGHTEST!
I CAN'T EVEN TELL bạn HOW MANY PROBLEMS ARE IN THIS STORY, WHO AND WHY THE HELL WOULD ANYBODY WANT TO WRITE SUCH AN ATROCITY!?
And all I can say is.....
"I bought most of them so I can do what I want with them! đã đưa ý kiến Sonic back."
Fine Sonic, let your team-mates die. Then starve and die all alone, then we'll see how bạn act.
This story is terrible, bởi now bạn know that as much as bạn know 1+1.
And bạn know what? This story gets WAY worse, and bạn have no idea how much.
Just remember I'm here to share my misery with you.
"Don't touch my beer, bạn spiky blue buttmunch! I payed for that myself! Yelled Knuckles."
CAN bạn AT LEAST HAVE A FRACTION OF EFFORT nghề viết văn THIS HORRIBLE TRASH PILE OF A STORY!?
"Oops, well I only drank one can, muttered Sonic."
This is why I hate majority of modern Sonic fans.
Oh I'm sorry, did I say fan? Hah, these morons are anything BUT fans. They're just trolls that slightly enjoy the Sonic games, but also tình yêu perverted hardcore modern gun games.
And they decided to make one of the shittiest stories ever written.
"What was that? Asked Knuckles. Nothing! Sonic replied. Look, an eagle!"
That joke wouldn't fool anybody in the năm 1934 bạn moron. What makes bạn think it'll work now?
"Everybody looked up"
*Facepalm* This fucking author....I tell you.
I SWEAR this is the only story I've reviewed so far that is ACTUALLY making me mad in real life! I feel...ANGRY! I want to smash my keyboard! I've never felt so much pain đọc A STORY BEFORE!
Achievement unlocked chó Bower, CONGRATUFUCKINGLATIONS!
"That's just some guy on a hang glider, Sonic. đã đưa ý kiến Tails."
Is this supposed to be funny? Am I supposed to be laughing? Oh I'm sorry.
"But then Sonic was walking really fast farther away."
Correct me if I'm wrong, but that sentence just seems off to me. I don't know what it is, but something there just doesn't sound right.
Actually, pretty much this entire story doesn't seem right.
Yeah, I'm running out of jokes. To be honest, even đọc this story drains your soul, bạn can't blame me.
"Damn it Sonic, slow down! đã đưa ý kiến Knuckles. Walk faster! bạn dorks! While he kept on going and laughing."
Am I the only person that is so fucking tired of this story? I gotta take a break....
Yeah, that face just about says it all.