Emotional Aspects of Infertility
Infertility is without a doubt a life altering experience. From your self esteem, to your plans and dreams for the future, relationships with friends, family and even your spouse can all be affected. Sadly, attention seems to be focused on the physical aspects of infertility, and the emotional aspects often go ignored and untreated. People just don't realize how emotionally challenging and overwhelming it all can be on a couple.
Because infertility is such a personal and private issue, many couples are hesitant to share their experience openly with Những người bạn and family. Avoiding các câu hỏi and curiosities about "when bạn are having children" can end up driving a wedge between everyone close in your life. As a result, many couples suffer intensely and end up feeling isolated. However, they are not alone. In fact, 15% of all married couples experience infertility with all the feelings and frustrations that go with it.
In this section, we will look at the emotional stages of infertility and strategies to deal with them. We hope that this section will help bạn in coping with your own feelings and in coming to a resolution that is comfortable for you. With time, patience, support and knowledge, most people eventually come to terms with their infertility.
Realization and Acknowledgment
Most couples assume that when the time is right, they will begin their family, and will get pregnant shortly after they stop using birth control. However, as each cycle passes, anticipation is replaced bởi concern. Couples are likely to feel shock and dismay when they realize they can't conceive as easily as they thought. For couples who are used to being in control of their lives and getting what they want if they work hard enough, this can be a tough pill to swallow.
các câu hỏi start haunting them - What if they're never able to have children? Could they be sterile? What is causing the problem? These thoughts are very frightening to people who have never conceived a child. It is normal for couples to encounter a wide range of emotions before actually acknowledging they may have a fertility problem.
Emotions
The following are some examples of what a couple often experiences during the difficult acknowledgment stage:
* The woman is often the first to realize that they may have a fertility problem.
* The man might need to be convinced that medical intervention may be necessary.
* Feelings of frustration, anger, denial, guilt, blame, self pity and jealousy begin to occur.
* Emotions and disagreements in the marriage become magnified.
* Loss of control. A feeling that doctors and tests are starting to control your life. Daily routines are now being scheduled around doctors' appointments and your cycle.
* Anger hoặc disappointment at your own body. Feelings of "Why me?" hoặc "What did I do to deserve this?"
* Resentment towards others who are pregnant hoặc have children, who didn't have to endure this physical, mental and financial stress to conceive their children.
* Sense of sexuality may diminish. What used to be spontaneous and fun is now technical and monitored, not only bởi the couple, but with their doctor.
* Shame and embarrassment over not functioning normally.
* Need for secrecy. Explaining the infertility testing to others can be very embarrassing, and can result in isolation from Những người bạn and family.
* Inability hoặc difficulty in communicating with your partner, family and friends.
* Lack of privacy due to the invasive nature of tests. What was an issue between bạn and your spouse is now also between your doctor and the staff.
* A feeling of being misunderstood bởi those who have children hoặc those who are pregnant. Well meaning Lời khuyên and opinions from those who have not experienced this can be very much resented.
* Shock, numbness and often a great sense of relief when a diagnosis is confirmed.
* Feeling victimized and intimidated bởi doctors, technology and medication.
* Emotional upset due to the powerful, hormonal effects of infertility drugs. Feelings of frustration can become uncontrollably magnified.
* An increased sense of vulnerability and sensitivity.
* Frustration from feeling life has been put "on hold", and the inability to make short- and long-term plans.
* Self-punishment; thoughts of "Maybe we don't deserve to have a child."
* Self-blame; "If only we'd done this hoặc that, then we'd have a baby"
* The overwhelming need to learn everything about treatment options, success rates, financial costs and insurance coverage.
Resolution
If a couple can get through the physical and emotional strain of infertility treatment, they can likely conquer anything in life together. The ability to survive such a demanding and overwhelming experience leaves many couples with renewed self esteem and confidence. Ultimately, reaching the resolution stage is acceptance, and this is an enormous accomplishment.
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