i really don't wanna review this movie. i really, REALLY don't wanna review it. but since i had the balls to go and watch it.... this is my review/rant on the one and only..... Norm of the North..... god, help me!
so, Norm of the North follows the story of Norm, a polar chịu, gấu voiced Rob Schneider - cause why the fuck not? - who's the prince of the Arctic (i think?) and spends most of his time twerking (yea, bạn heard me right: the chịu, gấu TWERKS!!) while listening to shitty pop songs on his iPod and saying some of the worst jokes i've ever heard! he's not like any other polar chịu, gấu considering he doesn't know how to hunt, but he's still in line to be the king of the Arctic somehow. right up till one day, he finds out that his home's being ravished bởi this one corporation called Greene Homes, who're gonna start building houses and condos on the Arctic. so now, Norm heads off to NYC with his 3 lemmings in hopes of saving his trang chủ and finding a loved one. now, i'm pretty sure some of bạn are probably all like: "okay, doesn't sound too horrible. a bit generic and stupid, but nothing to rage about". but oh!! bạn don't know anything yet. the stupid premise is just the tip of the ice berg here! i mean, i literally don't know where the hell should i even start with this disgrace to animated movies! everything wrong with animated phim chiếu rạp today is literally in this movie! not only is this a disgrace, but it's also the worst animated movie to get a wide theatrical release! seriously, almost everything bạn can think about in this movie fails so hard, it's just appalling!
first off, the animation's a absolute eye sore. this has to be one of the worst looking animated phim chiếu rạp in years! not only is it incredibly ugly, but there are times where it looked unfinished. from the terrible rendering, bad lighting and unnatural character animation, to the shitty character designs and the butt-ugly backgrounds, there's literally nothing redeemable about the phim hoạt hình here. there are times when even the lip syncing is so off, it's almost impossible not to notice! seriously, the lip syncing in this movie makes the lip syncing in Hoodwinked 2 look competent.
but that's just the animation, guys.... trust me, it gets even worse from here! first off, all this movie does is tell a message. an environmental message. and not just any environmental message. a environmental message that the movie just loves hammering it down our throats EVERY. 2. FUCKING. MINUTES!! the entire point of this movie is to tell the audience to save the Arctic, while throwing anti-industrialism into the mix. why the hell would we ever wanna live in the Arctic? i have no god damn idea, cause it never bothers to answer. that makes the movie so preachy that it treats the audience like complete idiots, thinking that we always need a fucking reminder about what Norm should do. to make it worse, the movie fills itself with a huge pile of plot cliches, making the movie so predictable that it takes every single bit of enjoyment it could've had and some boring-ass scenes that go absolutely nowhere and are never mentioned again. but the worst thing this movie could do is scrapping the bottom of the comedy barrel with some of the absolute worst fucking gags i've ever seen! and it's not just your typical gas humor and poop jokes. bạn have no idea how low this movie goes just to get even a single stupid laugh.
that's when the characters kick in. first off, we got Norm who's trying to save the Arctic from destruction and to find his long-lost grandpa, who disappeared when he was a cub. oh wait, was that spoiler? well i don't give 2 shits about it, cause the movie doesn't deserve it at all. the entire joke with Norm is that: he can't hunt and he twerks! he twerks a lot throughout the movie! really, movie?! a fucking twerking joke?! that's the best they got?! and Norm has other traits the movie forgot to explain, like: why's he able to talk to humans when the other động vật don't? why should we know about his tình yêu interest and for him being the tiếp theo king of the Arctic? who the fuck knows, cause the movie clearly DOESN'T! then, we got the so-called "3 lemmings", who're probably the worst trio of comic reliefs i've seen in a really long time! let me tell you: these 3 little shit heads are the reason why the humor's so god awful. they're nothing but obvious Minion rip-offs, but that fails cause they don't have any of the charm, quality hoặc likability of the Minions. i swear, there's this one scene where the 3 shitheads take a piss in a cá tank, and it's so drawn-out and so unbearable, that i felt like i wanted to shoot myself.
and then, we got Mr. Greene. the villain of the movie with nonsensical plans about building condos on the Arctic and can be obnoxiously over-the-top with the way he moves. well, what do ya know? he's also trying to rip-off Chester V from Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2, a much better movie i wish i was watching right now. as for the rest, i just don't fuckin' care! they're so pointless that the movie would stay the same if bạn took them outta it. and let's not forget the fact that - according to this movie - New York City is populated bởi the most brain dead people bạn could think of. they either see Norm as a guy in a chịu, gấu suit hoặc even a actual talking bear, and somehow they're totally fine with it. are bạn fucking serious?!
ugh, i'm done. i'm fucking done talking about this travesty. Norm of the North is truly awful! it's literally the worst animated movie i've seen in theaters! the animation's disgusting, the writing's abysmal, the jokes are at their absolute worst, the characters are unlikable, idiotic and brain-dead and the environmental message is unbearable. now i can see why Anthony chuông, bell and Crest Animations đã đưa ý kiến "no" to this movie, and they did the right thing! this movie's so horrendous, i'm actually starting to sympathize a lot thêm with other bad phim chiếu rạp like The Nut Job and Strange Magic. it's literally a whole new low for Rob Schneider's career. and if somebody out there defends it with bullshit excuses like "It's just for kids", can i ask: who the fuck are bạn talking about? kids 4 and under with a lack of IQ?! all the kids in my theater couldn't stand 5 phút of this abomination, and i definitely don't blame them.
that's why Norm of the North most definitely gets a big F! and yea, i know. i don't think i've been this pissed at a animated movie ever since Swan Princess 5, but i'm not lying when i say: this movie broke me!
so, Norm of the North follows the story of Norm, a polar chịu, gấu voiced Rob Schneider - cause why the fuck not? - who's the prince of the Arctic (i think?) and spends most of his time twerking (yea, bạn heard me right: the chịu, gấu TWERKS!!) while listening to shitty pop songs on his iPod and saying some of the worst jokes i've ever heard! he's not like any other polar chịu, gấu considering he doesn't know how to hunt, but he's still in line to be the king of the Arctic somehow. right up till one day, he finds out that his home's being ravished bởi this one corporation called Greene Homes, who're gonna start building houses and condos on the Arctic. so now, Norm heads off to NYC with his 3 lemmings in hopes of saving his trang chủ and finding a loved one. now, i'm pretty sure some of bạn are probably all like: "okay, doesn't sound too horrible. a bit generic and stupid, but nothing to rage about". but oh!! bạn don't know anything yet. the stupid premise is just the tip of the ice berg here! i mean, i literally don't know where the hell should i even start with this disgrace to animated movies! everything wrong with animated phim chiếu rạp today is literally in this movie! not only is this a disgrace, but it's also the worst animated movie to get a wide theatrical release! seriously, almost everything bạn can think about in this movie fails so hard, it's just appalling!
first off, the animation's a absolute eye sore. this has to be one of the worst looking animated phim chiếu rạp in years! not only is it incredibly ugly, but there are times where it looked unfinished. from the terrible rendering, bad lighting and unnatural character animation, to the shitty character designs and the butt-ugly backgrounds, there's literally nothing redeemable about the phim hoạt hình here. there are times when even the lip syncing is so off, it's almost impossible not to notice! seriously, the lip syncing in this movie makes the lip syncing in Hoodwinked 2 look competent.
but that's just the animation, guys.... trust me, it gets even worse from here! first off, all this movie does is tell a message. an environmental message. and not just any environmental message. a environmental message that the movie just loves hammering it down our throats EVERY. 2. FUCKING. MINUTES!! the entire point of this movie is to tell the audience to save the Arctic, while throwing anti-industrialism into the mix. why the hell would we ever wanna live in the Arctic? i have no god damn idea, cause it never bothers to answer. that makes the movie so preachy that it treats the audience like complete idiots, thinking that we always need a fucking reminder about what Norm should do. to make it worse, the movie fills itself with a huge pile of plot cliches, making the movie so predictable that it takes every single bit of enjoyment it could've had and some boring-ass scenes that go absolutely nowhere and are never mentioned again. but the worst thing this movie could do is scrapping the bottom of the comedy barrel with some of the absolute worst fucking gags i've ever seen! and it's not just your typical gas humor and poop jokes. bạn have no idea how low this movie goes just to get even a single stupid laugh.
that's when the characters kick in. first off, we got Norm who's trying to save the Arctic from destruction and to find his long-lost grandpa, who disappeared when he was a cub. oh wait, was that spoiler? well i don't give 2 shits about it, cause the movie doesn't deserve it at all. the entire joke with Norm is that: he can't hunt and he twerks! he twerks a lot throughout the movie! really, movie?! a fucking twerking joke?! that's the best they got?! and Norm has other traits the movie forgot to explain, like: why's he able to talk to humans when the other động vật don't? why should we know about his tình yêu interest and for him being the tiếp theo king of the Arctic? who the fuck knows, cause the movie clearly DOESN'T! then, we got the so-called "3 lemmings", who're probably the worst trio of comic reliefs i've seen in a really long time! let me tell you: these 3 little shit heads are the reason why the humor's so god awful. they're nothing but obvious Minion rip-offs, but that fails cause they don't have any of the charm, quality hoặc likability of the Minions. i swear, there's this one scene where the 3 shitheads take a piss in a cá tank, and it's so drawn-out and so unbearable, that i felt like i wanted to shoot myself.
and then, we got Mr. Greene. the villain of the movie with nonsensical plans about building condos on the Arctic and can be obnoxiously over-the-top with the way he moves. well, what do ya know? he's also trying to rip-off Chester V from Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2, a much better movie i wish i was watching right now. as for the rest, i just don't fuckin' care! they're so pointless that the movie would stay the same if bạn took them outta it. and let's not forget the fact that - according to this movie - New York City is populated bởi the most brain dead people bạn could think of. they either see Norm as a guy in a chịu, gấu suit hoặc even a actual talking bear, and somehow they're totally fine with it. are bạn fucking serious?!
ugh, i'm done. i'm fucking done talking about this travesty. Norm of the North is truly awful! it's literally the worst animated movie i've seen in theaters! the animation's disgusting, the writing's abysmal, the jokes are at their absolute worst, the characters are unlikable, idiotic and brain-dead and the environmental message is unbearable. now i can see why Anthony chuông, bell and Crest Animations đã đưa ý kiến "no" to this movie, and they did the right thing! this movie's so horrendous, i'm actually starting to sympathize a lot thêm with other bad phim chiếu rạp like The Nut Job and Strange Magic. it's literally a whole new low for Rob Schneider's career. and if somebody out there defends it with bullshit excuses like "It's just for kids", can i ask: who the fuck are bạn talking about? kids 4 and under with a lack of IQ?! all the kids in my theater couldn't stand 5 phút of this abomination, and i definitely don't blame them.
that's why Norm of the North most definitely gets a big F! and yea, i know. i don't think i've been this pissed at a animated movie ever since Swan Princess 5, but i'm not lying when i say: this movie broke me!
WELCOME, TO PAW STEEL 3!!!
TODAY! TODAY! TODAY!
GARTH VS. STEELE!!!
WHO WILL WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
garth was just going on a cruise! same as steele. but they were just sitting right bởi each other.
"my fucking god this is the life!!!" garth said. "tell me about it!" steele said. they were just eating. then a lady chó sói, sói just came and gave a check. "that will be 40$ for the food." the lady said. "here let me pay this!" steele said. "no let me pay it!" garth said. "dont worry i got this!" steele said. " i feel bad cause my thực phẩm was thêm expenceive, just let go the check!" garth said. "dude let me pay it!" steele said. then they were pulling it from each other. "LET GO OF THE CHECK!" garth đã đưa ý kiến with a strong growl. "no im not letting go this thing!" steele said. they looked at each other. then steele threw the bàn and they both stood.
to be continued. sorry didnt had time
TODAY! TODAY! TODAY!
GARTH VS. STEELE!!!
WHO WILL WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
garth was just going on a cruise! same as steele. but they were just sitting right bởi each other.
"my fucking god this is the life!!!" garth said. "tell me about it!" steele said. they were just eating. then a lady chó sói, sói just came and gave a check. "that will be 40$ for the food." the lady said. "here let me pay this!" steele said. "no let me pay it!" garth said. "dont worry i got this!" steele said. " i feel bad cause my thực phẩm was thêm expenceive, just let go the check!" garth said. "dude let me pay it!" steele said. then they were pulling it from each other. "LET GO OF THE CHECK!" garth đã đưa ý kiến with a strong growl. "no im not letting go this thing!" steele said. they looked at each other. then steele threw the bàn and they both stood.
to be continued. sorry didnt had time
(Yeah.......yeah, uh)
Winston...the_alpha,
Im giving bạn a chance to....knock em,
abra..cadabra,
Others,...na-da,
i inspired life,
Fo' you....de-nada,
bạn ngọn lửa, chữa cháy it up,
But im....the lighter,
The better..the hotter,
Our rhymes..our hotter,
Infinite,
lets open...these products,
Drugs...and weed,
Gb...no gossip,
Yeah....
None of them hatus can be diff-erent,
Try harder....you still aint diff-erent yeah,
Weyre so team infinite,
Anyone one tryna be us
Tell winston and mua so we can start sh.. with it wazzup......
wazzup
Winston...the_alpha,
Im giving bạn a chance to....knock em,
abra..cadabra,
Others,...na-da,
i inspired life,
Fo' you....de-nada,
bạn ngọn lửa, chữa cháy it up,
But im....the lighter,
The better..the hotter,
Our rhymes..our hotter,
Infinite,
lets open...these products,
Drugs...and weed,
Gb...no gossip,
Yeah....
None of them hatus can be diff-erent,
Try harder....you still aint diff-erent yeah,
Weyre so team infinite,
Anyone one tryna be us
Tell winston and mua so we can start sh.. with it wazzup......
wazzup
It was a warm cozy evening, Kate and Humphrey were already in bed. Every thing was well, for a little while. They had their door locked and all of sudden the door was shaking. Kate stirred and then woke up. She saw the door, and freaked out. She woke Humphrey to take a look. He went to the door, shaking with a butcher dao, con dao he always kept in his drawer, Kate heard someone calling her name, and began to cry. Humphrey approached his door, his tim, trái tim pounding, wanting to cry, but before he could open it the door opened bởi itself.
