Sunday night, 8 p.m. sharp you're there with your face pressed against Equius' sweaty chó cái, bitch tits as he holds bạn like the baby.
6 months back, Equius Mất tích both of his testicles and since then he Mất tích his wife, Aradia, and daughter, Nepeta. bạn only remebered their names because thats all he talks about. Well that and his glory days as a fucking nước ép, nước trái cây head, bạn mean "competitive body builder." However, unlike other bodybuilders Equius' has tits. Hormone therapy came along with a side of high testosterone and because of that, his body had to kick up the estrogen to maintain balance.
Equius' big arms looped bạn right inside him, but bạn didn't push back. bạn pulled in, right in his musk and sweat and buried your face into his tits. Motor thuyền him while you're at it.
"If bạn wish to cry, go ahead." He drone as he pat down your wild licks of jet. "It will be alright."
It will be alright, bạn chanted. Instantly, a set of dominos were set off. One bởi one from the core of your useless piece of shit of a body, chemicals started to react and soon enough bạn further dug your nose into his chest. bạn let go.
Crying is what bạn need. The release from your shitty job, your shitty boss and his shitty accent, from your shitty harelquin filled life. No one understands but most of all no one listens to your bucktooth ass. Your mouth agape, tongue readying and willing to lash out to those who put your đít, mông, ass down. Then again who are bạn really trying to face? Staring at your mirror, staring at your baggy, colbalt glare of purest form of isolation. Even bạn don't listen to your mind, body hoặc soul, and thus is why bạn have an insomina.
Which is why you're here, for two years and 6 months you've been attending support groups. It's only when bạn have an invisible gun to your head is when someone actually leads an ear. Actually make bạn feel like you're beloved. It feels nice to be cared for, after you've been rejected bởi the ones bạn loved. Makes a whole lot easier to cry too.
This is how bạn meet Karkat Vantas.
Equius gives a jerking sob. Up with the shoulder blade, down with his articulation of breath. Huff, huff, puff, puff. Big bad Equius is going to blow down your house. Though, that doesn't bother bạn one bit. This is the closet bạn will get to sleep, and bạn will get your sleep because bạn fucking earn it bởi those hours bạn pull.
"Only the strong will survive," Equius remarked.
Peaking your cerulean open, bạn see the other men in the Remaining Men circle. All hugging and crying, it warms bạn up until bạn saw him.
His face contorted to one side while he pulls a long drag from his lips, blowing into your vòng tròn as a man cry his burdens into the crook of his neck. His eyes meet yours.
Pants on fucking fire.
He just rubs bạn the wrong way, he wasn't even trying to fake it. Short matte black hair, half-lidden amber eyes that fell endlessly against the sứ, đồ sứ flesh that barely covered bone. Maybe he is sick, in the fucking head because he's always in yours tuberculosis group on Friday. Around Wednesday night, he's staring at bạn with that same drag in his mouth at your melanoma round table. Monday night he's attending the lukiemia rap group. What a fucking joy, oh wait, he also goes to your brain parasite group on Thursdays.
It annoys you, it infuriates bạn to know he's there. bạn need to this, bạn need to relax and let go of all the stress thats blocking your chi.
This is your vacation.
The first time bạn ever step foot into a support group, it was right after your doctors appointment for your insomnia. bạn don't know why bạn have it, but bạn do know it's killing you. Albeit, your doctor refuses to see the murderous aspect. Only telling bạn to chew valerian root, get excrise and just listen to your body. When all bạn really want is the red-and-blue pill.
"If bạn wish to see true torture, I suggest witnessing First Eucharist on Tuesday night, Brain Parasites on Thursday," Doctor Maryam kept listening thêm and more, bởi the end of it all.
bạn never gave out your real name when it came to introductions: This is Andrew, this is Jack, this is Droogs. All force smiles and greetings.
"Hello, Hey, Hi," we all get it.
Making her way towards the front, Aranea took center stage. No doubt she was captivating, the way her hips pop with each click of her heel. Too bad bạn Mất tích all effort and energy to prove your heterosexuality back in high school. Still, you'll admit when bạn see an attractive female. Especially how smoothly her words flow like velvet, leaving tracks of bumps along your forearm.
She instructs bạn with a tug of her frames up her nose to close your eyes and just follow her voice. Follow her through the red curtains, green curtains and pass a man with a cue ball.
bạn wake up again. Eyes flown open to nothing but the sky. Body stretch across fields upon endless fields of shade, soon enough bạn pop on your elbows and took a glance around.
"Watch out," with a snap, bạn gaze at a lone figure to the north. Hesitantly, bạn began your journey. Closer and closer, louder and louder they warned," watch out."
For what? bạn differ. Shoving a wristful into your không hoàn toàn, bộ quần áo, slacks bởi the time bạn reach the yellow salamader.
bạn wake up and you're up on the first floor. Equius and other men file out the building, while bạn just stood there. Bewildered and unresponsive. Until push came to shove.
"Move bitch, get out of the way."
His boney fingers sunk into your linen pressed dress shirt, allowing him to shimmy right pass you. A trail of toxin following every whip of his heel.
bạn will get Karkat Vantas back, if bạn could bạn would throw that painters bucket at his face. Just to watch him squirm on the floor where he belongs.
bạn need some fucking sleep.